I got gremlins.

When my dad got to be 70, he said there were gremlins in the house. I said, "Yeah, sure Dad, you got gremlins, OK".
I turned 70. A month ago, I noticed in my junk tool drawer, I had four pairs of scissors. Now, why did I buy FOUR pairs of scissors? Waste of money. GRRRR. So, a week ago, I needed some scissors. I searched that drawer. I looked and looked, and there wasn't one pair in there. I had to buy a pair of scissors, and when I went to put them away-there was four pairs already there. Well, there's only one reason why those scissors keep disappearing and reappearing- GREMLINS!
 

The sock eating ones are the worst, but we have them in the fridge. When you wake up in the morning you never know what will be missing...
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I have reading glasses gremlins. I go to Dollar Tree and buy 10 pairs of reading glasses. I put two pairs in every room of the house. One week later, there are no reading glasses in the house. The week after that, there are ten pairs in the bathroom. The next day, they move to the dining room. Next, they'll show up in the bedroom.

I refuse to believe that I might just be absent-minded. It HAS to be gremlins. Has to.
 

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