Internet Netiquette or politeness

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

Caregiver
Location
Midwest
I did a little search on this and found a bunch of junk but among it some good tips. One of them is to use the smileys or emoticons to try and convey how you are feeling when you post something. Also, be appropriate, consider your audience, consider the cultural differences if possible, think before you speak or in this case it is think before you type.

Here is a link: Why are internet discussions less polite?

http://www.wall.org/~aron/blog/why-are-internet-discussions-less-polite/

I am not trying to start a war here, just trying to find some answers.
 

Some people on another forum seem to think it's because online you're anonymous so you can be outspoken without fear of reprisal. No one "knows where you live."

That's no excuse, it's just what some people think. It's one remove from road rage -- there you're separated from others in a car so people who wouldn't dare walk up to someone on the sidewalk and hit them or shoot them give vent to impatience and irritation with their cars. Here on the Internet we're even more distanced from each other.

Either that, or the Internet "frees" people up to show who they really are -- they just don't give a toss, and feel they don't need the veneer of polite society that they wear in real life company. On the Internet you can post naked -- flesh, emotions, temper, whatever.

Sucks, doesn't it? Something that can bring people from all over the world together, to communicate instantaneously, and so many use it to attack, criticize, make fun of, and alarm.
 
It takes all kinds to make a world. We can't expect everyone to express their thoughts in the same manner. Some people are always tactful, others wax and wane according to the mood and some are always rather blunt. It doesn't pay to be thin skinned over things that people might post. If things get overheated the mods will intervene.

I don't think that this forum is over the top in this regard.
 

Warrigal said:
It takes all kinds to make a world. We can't expect everyone to express their thoughts in the same manner. Some people are always tactful, others wax and wane according to the mood and some are always rather blunt. It doesn't pay to be thin skinned over things that people might post. If things get overheated the mods will intervene.

I don't think that this forum is over the top in this regard.
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I agree.
 
guitarist said:
some people on another forum seem to think it's because online you're anonymous so you can be outspoken without fear of reprisal. No one "knows where you live."

that's no excuse, it's just what some people think. It's one remove from road rage -- there you're separated from others in a car so people who wouldn't dare walk up to someone on the sidewalk and hit them or shoot them give vent to impatience and irritation with their cars. Here on the internet we're even more distanced from each other.

Either that, or the internet "frees" people up to show who they really are -- they just don't give a toss, and feel they don't need the veneer of polite society that they wear in real life company. On the internet you can post naked -- flesh, emotions, temper, whatever.

Sucks, doesn't it? Something that can bring people from all over the world together, to communicate instantaneously, and so many use it to attack, criticize, make fun of, and alarm.
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ikwym
 
Warrigal said:
It takes all kinds to make a world. We can't expect everyone to express their thoughts in the same manner. Some people are always tactful, others wax and wane according to the mood and some are always rather blunt. It doesn't pay to be thin skinned over things that people might post. If things get overheated the mods will intervene.

I don't think that this forum is over the top in this regard.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry that you needed to get defensive with this. It wasn't my intention to make anyone get that way. I was just trying to help us have more regard for each others feelings so that the mods don't have to intervene as often. Why put it all on the mods? We are grown ups.
 
I'm not being defensive. If I thought that I was at fault I would apologise. I have done this on occasions when I did cause some offense with one of my posts.

What I am trying to do now is suggest that the best way to continue posting is to adopt a somewhat detached attitude to some discussions. I try hard not to take anything personally and as long as I can do this, I am not easily offended.

I don't want you, or anyone else, to stop posting. I appreciate all shades of opinion.
 
Okay. Even if you had been defensive, which you were not, it would't be anything to apologize about. Your ideas are a good addition to this discussion. Thanks.
 
Let's not turn this into Facebook. We need some stuff that can be highly controversial to keep it interesting...
 
Ralphy1 said:
Let's not turn this into Facebook. We need some stuff that can be highly controversial to keep it interesting...
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Who is turning it into facebook? Just trying to make people understand each other on this medium as much as we can without any clues.
 
Some seem to want only saccharine exchanges. I want some disgruntled souls pouring out their angst on all sorts of topics...
 
Warrigal said:
I don't think that this forum is over the top in this regard.
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QFT+++++++ This forum is SOOOO tame it isn't funny.. I have to chuckle at those who complain about it.. particularly the political discussions. There are forums out there that would curl their hair as well as their toenails. I think they would have apoplexy if they read what people say to one another at other sites. I believe that this forum reigns in the nasty quite well.. and as has been said many times.. if discussing politics ain't your cup of tea... don't
 
I always try to be respectful of other opinions while engaging in conversations, both in real life and on this forum. I try to "listen" before rushing in with my own view. There have been times (on here) when I've been tempted to lash out at someone personally. I did so last night, but it was far more restrained than I wished it could have been. I think there's a place for serious debate and we have a good place here. I like the back and forth. Yes, sometimes you need a thick skin, but it's mostly healthy conversation.
 
QuickSilver said:
QFT+++++++ This forum is SOOOO tame it isn't funny.. I have to chuckle at those who complain about it.. particularly the political discussions. There are forums out there that would curl their hair as well as their toenails. I think they would have apoplexy if they read what people say to one another at other sites. I believe that this forum reigns in the nasty quite well.. and as has been said many times.. if discussing politics ain't your cup of tea... don't
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Like I said this is only to make communication better for us with the tips. Some people are upset by some of the discussions and you laugh at them, I think that is insensitive. I'm trying to make it better for them. And who said this is about the politics?
 
Ruthanne said:
Like I said this is only to make communication better for us with the tips. Some people are upset by some of the discussions and you laugh at them, I think that is insensitive. I'm trying to make it better for them. And who said this is about the politics?
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How do you propose to make it "better" for them? BY making it uninteresting and boring for others? Some would only want to be agreed with and any other view is considered an attack to them even if it's simply someone stating a different opinion. .. that is not realistic. Some shouldn't post in religious or political debates... period..
 
I am one that is horribly blunt. I am that way in the flesh as well as online. I try not to be an asshole,but most often I fail miserably. I think it is because if I have a thought that I want to convey, that I want to do it without ambiguity. As a result I use the most plain direct verbiage that I can. In todays world people expect that potentially contentious subjects will be addressed obliquely rather than head on. There are many university courses that actually teach folks how not to address a problem head on if fear of offending someone.
I think my children taught me the skill of bluntness. Always Dad why are you yelling at me? Because the first 3 times I asked you quietly and politely you ignored me. Now I go directly to what works!

And please do not model your new do or apparel for me unless you want my honest answer!
 
On the otherhand... there are ways to get ones point across without being boorish. Sometimes situations are best handled with a feather duster rather than a sledge hammer. Sometimes only a sledge hammer will do. It's a wise person who knows when to use what.
 
In some ways, I believe this topic highlights one of the major differences between Trump and Clinton, as evidenced in their responses to the massacre in Orlando. Trump came out of the gate with his verbal diarrhea, intent on blaming Muslims and to some extent, Obama for the tragedy. Clinton was more restrained in her response, prompting criticism in some quarters for her failure to say "Islamic terrorism" or the like. One one hand we have a candidate who shoots from the proverbial hip, saying whatever comes into his pea brain in the moment. We have another candidate who takes a more measured, carefully considered approach to language and nuanced communication, preferring to see the bigger picture. Many like Trump's take no prisoners, non "PC" style, but there are others who feel that such an approach would get us into trouble.

My intent here is not to steer this thread in a political direction, but rather to point out a real life example of communication styles. You can also see these differences in how they use internet-based communication (Twitter) as an example. I follow a blogger who writes about communication style. Here's what he wrote about Trump's response to Orlando and how he uses Twitter. Some may find it interesting. It's brief.

We all have our preferred ways of speaking both in person and online. I think we all need to be cognizant of how our online words may be interpreted by others, and carefully consider what we post before hitting the enter key. Sometimes that not easy, especially in the heat of the moment. Sometimes it feels good to just let it rip.
 
Not everyone will agree with what is posted on certain subjects. By commenting on the content, instead of going after the poster, is a good way to keep civility at any forum.

If a person reads a thread that they don't approve of, then why continue to visit it. It's easier to walk away and go to threads that make you happier.

It is a good thing to have threads where people can debate, share their opinions and bow out on their own, than to constantly be moderated and locked down. If a forum chooses to limit content, it surely will die a slow death.
 
Ruthanne said:
I'm sorry that you needed to get defensive with this. It wasn't my intention to make anyone get that way. I was just trying to help us have more regard for each others feelings so that the mods don't have to intervene as often. Why put it all on the mods? We are grown ups.
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Well, chronologically, anyway! :)

The idea that we are all a bunch of two-year-olds with attitude and that we can play as "not nice" as we want because the "grownups" will intervene when we get overheated is .... well .... ludicrous at best. At our age we should be able to monitor ourselves.

Being over 21 gives you rights, not license.
 
Gemma said:
Not everyone will agree with what is posted on certain subjects. By commenting on the content, instead of going after the poster, is a good way to keep civility at any forum.

If a person reads a thread that they don't approve of, then why continue to visit it. It's easier to walk away and go to threads that make you happier.

It is a good thing to have threads where people can debate, share their opinions and bow out on their own, than to constantly be moderated and locked down. If a forum chooses to limit content, it surely will die a slow death.
Click to expand...

I agree.
 
Thanks for the replies. I don't know that this was a topic to be brought up but I only wanted to help some understand each other better. Maybe some want that and some don't care about that. Communication is harder online because we have no nonverbal clues as we are not looking directly at each other. In real life we are constantly looking at people's body language and adjusting what we say to fit the situation even though we do this automatically. So, everyone will do what they want to do anyway. :givemebeer::peace::bananalama:
 
Ruthanne said:
I did a little search on this and found a bunch of junk but among it some good tips. One of them is to use the smileys or emoticons to try and convey how you are feeling when you post something. Also, be appropriate, consider your audience, consider the cultural differences if possible, think before you speak or in this case it is think before you type.

Here is a link: Why are internet discussions less polite?

http://www.wall.org/~aron/blog/why-are-internet-discussions-less-polite/

I am not trying to start a war here, just trying to find some answers.
Click to expand...


This is an excellent and most important topic Ms. Ruthanne.
The internet is about the exchanging of ideology. Short of traveling, tis the best means of meeting and exchanging philosophical(including religion) and cultural lifestyles with people throughout the world. One should at all times be aware the written word is "cold", without emotion. There is no way short of knowing the person emotional intentions short of the person stating their emotions. One should always respect the message and the writer , giving them the benefit of the doubt. Even when one is irritated and posts a negative comment, do not let yourself become involved, tis a lose/lose situation. One should always be willing to apologize in the event one's posts legitimately offends someone, though, never apologize for respectfully disagreeing. Never make an emotional post/reply, and attempt to be as factual as possible. If one desires respect, give respect . We can respectfully disagree and still be friends, for that is what friendship is all about. If anyone feels at anytime that I have disrespected them, please send me a private message , and we shall discuss. My apologies if I have become long winded.
peace
 
senile1 said:
This is an excellent and most important topic Ms. Ruthanne.
The internet is about the exchanging of ideology. Short of traveling, tis the best means of meeting and exchanging philosophical(including religion) and cultural lifestyles with people throughout the world. One should at all times be aware the written word is "cold", without emotion. There is no way short of knowing the person emotional intentions short of the person stating their emotions. One should always respect the message and the writer , giving them the benefit of the doubt. Even when one is irritated and posts a negative comment, do not let yourself become involved, tis a lose/lose situation. One should always be willing to apologize in the event one's posts legitimately offends someone, though, never apologize for respectfully disagreeing. Never make an emotional post/reply, and attempt to be as factual as possible. If one desires respect, give respect . We can respectfully disagree and still be friends, for that is what friendship is all about. If anyone feels at anytime that I have disrespected them, please send me a private message , and we shall discuss. My apologies if I have become long winded.
peace
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Thanks, Senile1 I'm glad you appreciate the topic and I appreciate that you understand it and have added a lot to this discussion!
 

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