Just sad..not sure where this goes..

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

Caregiver
Location
Midwest
I don't even know where to post this or if I even should but I will. I am feeling crappy and sad, it's the anniversary of my mom's death and even though it's been 13 years I still feel sad today. Thought I heard her call out my name the other day but maybe I was asleep..:cry:
 

I don't celebrate anniversaries of deaths but when the crepe myrtle is in bloom I always remember my Dad's funeral, which for me was very traumatic. That was way back in 1969. For some time I hated that tree but over time I learned to love it for bringing up happier memories as I healed.

I associate flowers with many of my dear departed - carnations and poppies for my grandfather, dahlias and gladioli for Dad, roses for Mum and Geraldton Wax for my mother in law.

May I suggest that today you choose something to plant in your garden that symbolises your mother and put it where you can see it from your kitchen window. As it grows and flowers/fruits it will bring you comfort over time.

Today cry all you want to. Tears are the fruits of love that bathe our pain.
 
Oh, Ruthanne, I know how that feels. Sorry you're having a sad day--no one can replace them, I know. It's been 12 yrs for me and I still think of mine a lot too. I hope tomorrow is a better day!
 

Oh Ruthanne <<<HUGS>>><<<HUGS>>><<<KISSES>>><<<HUGS>>>My Mom passed suddenly in 1989 and not a day goes by that she isn't with me. The dreams are important, they visit you in the dreams. But anytime you make one of her recipes, use one of her phrases, picture her laughing at you from a cloud...my Mom and Aunt do that a lot...scotch in one hand and a cigarette in the other...mirthful yet pitying that now I understand their lives a bit more.

Really, they don't leave us
 
Warrigal said:
I don't celebrate anniversaries of deaths but when the crepe myrtle is in bloom I always remember my Dad's funeral, which for me was very traumatic. That was way back in 1969. For some time I hated that tree but over time I learned to love it for bringing up happier memories as I healed.

I associate flowers with many of my dear departed - carnations and poppies for my grandfather, dahlias and gladioli for Dad, roses for Mum and Geraldton Wax for my mother in law.

May I suggest that today you choose something to plant in your garden that symbolises your mother and put it where you can see it from your kitchen window. As it grows and flowers/fruits it will bring you comfort over time.

Today cry all you want to. Tears are the fruits of love that bathe our pain.
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Thanks Warri. Don't have a garden-she died early tomorrow morning 4 am.

Carla said:
Oh, Ruthanne, I know how that feels. Sorry you're having a sad day--no one can replace them, I know. It's been 12 yrs for me and I still think of mine a lot too. I hope tomorrow is a better day!
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Thanks. Actually Sept. usually sucks for me. I'll be okay though.

fureverywhere said:
Oh Ruthanne <<<HUGS>>><<<HUGS>>><<<KISSES>>><<<HUGS>>>My Mom passed suddenly in 1989 and not a day goes by that she isn't with me. The dreams are important, they visit you in the dreams. But anytime you make one of her recipes, use one of her phrases, picture her laughing at you from a cloud...my Mom and Aunt do that a lot...scotch in one hand and a cigarette in the other...mirthful yet pitying that now I understand their lives a bit more.

Really, they don't leave us
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Thank you Leslie. I know she is in my dreams. She said in the last dream "Ruthanne, this is Jean" which has significance to me. I understand her quite a bit more now, too.

jujube said:
Ruthanne, I do believe that our loved ones who have gone on are still with us in spirit. Hugs.
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I believe that too Jujube. Thank you.
 
My dad passed away in June of '04. It wasn't a big shock, I think we all saw it coming as he'd been in decline for some time. Thing is, though he and I didn't have a bad relationship, we didn't have a really close one either. We were cordial toward each other and never fought in our lives, but my dad was one of those kind of distant men. Didn't talk a lot, thus we never had the quintessential "father son" talks or watched ballgames together or went fishing, etc, etc.

Hence, even though I still feel great fondness for him, I rarely think of him. After he passed away, I just accepted it. Never cried or got depressed, etc. Recently, every once in a great while, he'll pop into one of my dreams momentarily.

I don't know if any of the above is a good or bad thing. I guess it's good in that I didn't have to go through all of that painful grieving, but not so great in that I would have liked to have had a better relationship with him.

At any rate, be happy for the life you had with your mom Ruthanne, and the memories you'll always have.

Just think of those who never had a mother to grieve for. You are one of the lucky ones.
 
Really there is a dream. A big table at The Concord. It was a teacher's convention. They meet me there, both my parents. I tell them the latest then they fade away. But yes they were here.
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling down Ruth, my heart goes out to you. I lost my mom in '89, and every year when the anniversary of her death rolls around I also feel very sad, dream about her sometimes too, but that's a good thing. Hugs. :girl_hug:

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My Mom passed away in September also. It will be 10 years. It seems to get harder as each year that passes. Same for my Dad. I talk to them every night. It just makes me feel better.
 
Ruthanne, I understand. My mother died on Mothers' Day 35 years ago, and every Mothers' Day thereafter has been hard for me. Even though she died so long ago, I still miss her terribly and would give anything if I could talk with her one more time -- just one more time.

Hugs to you, my friend.
 
Ruthanne,

So sorry to hear that you're suffering with a heart ache. I lost my dad years ago and it still breaks me up. All you could do is keep your chin up and force a smile because someday you will be reunited.
 
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I'm so sorry you're feeling bad today Ruthanne. Hugs to you and my best wishes that you'll feel better. Okay?
 
For some reason, death dates don't stick in my mind.. Those days come and go and I never even realize it. However, birthdays seem to stick with me and I think of a person on that day.
 
Definitely anniversaries are hard, so here's hugs and there's nothing wrong with having a good cry. What I really like is that we have a place here to be able to speak up when we're feeling things like this.
 
Ruthanne, I understand. My mother died on Mothers' Day 35 years ago, and every Mothers' Day thereafter has been hard for me. Even though she died so long ago, I still miss her terribly and would give anything if I could talk with her one more time -- just one more time.

My Mom passed around Mother's Day too. Now that I think about it that was probably why even when I had kids of my own MD made me feel meh...
 
SeaBreeze said:
Sorry to hear you're feeling down Ruth, my heart goes out to you. I lost my mom in '89, and every year when the anniversary of her death rolls around I also feel very sad, dream about her sometimes too, but that's a good thing. Hugs. :girl_hug:

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Thank you SB. I dream of my mom sometimes, too, and I am glad for that, too.
 
bluebreezes said:
Definitely anniversaries are hard, so here's hugs and there's nothing wrong with having a good cry. What I really like is that we have a place here to be able to speak up when we're feeling things like this.
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Thanks bb. Yes, it's good to have a place to share happy times and sad times and there are those who understand.
 
Dudewho said:
Ruthanne,

So sorry to hear that you're suffering with a heart ache. I lost my dad years ago and it still breaks me up. All you could do is keep your chin up and force a smile because someday you will be reunited.
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Thanks Dude. I haven't wanted to talk to any of my friends this week or see anyone. So then I don't have to force that smile.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
My Mom passed away in September also. It will be 10 years. It seems to get harder as each year that passes. Same for my Dad. I talk to them every night. It just makes me feel better.
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It seems to get harder for me, too, i don't understand it, maybe it's because it gets longer and longer that we haven't seen them and miss them even more.
 
Thank you everyone for your kind posts. My mom fought a long battle with breast cancer and 13 years ago this morning at 4 am she was released from this world, no more pain, no more sorrow, no more of what she was going through. I am toasting a glass of wine to her tonight. See you in my dreams mom.
 

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