Slam proof toilet seat.

I had to buy a new toilet seat. Most of the new ones have a slam proof system. They gently and silently close. Well, lah-di-dah. I was not aware of the great toilet seat slamming issue. I feel like my grandfather when he'd make fun of our "progress". I'm turning into an old geezer!
 

We've had these (and loved them) for years. When you have dogs, you make sure everything stays closed! The only problem is traveling -we forget not all lids are like ours, and "bam!"
 
My toilet seat is terrible! It falls down after I use it in the middle of the night and slams and I hope it doesn't disturb my neighbors. You can hear lots of things around here.
 

Toilet humor? Have we reached a new low here? I am disgusted and wish that we could get on to a serious discussion for a change. Please tell me what you consider the best brand of toilet paper in case I have guests over the holidays...
 
Toilet humor? Have we reached a new low here? I am disgusted and wish that we could get on to a serious discussion for a change. Please tell me what you consider the best brand of toilet paper in case I have guests over the holidays...

Good question since we can't use the Sears Roebuck catalog or the telephone book anymore.

Remember when George Carlin asked whatever happened to Roebuck!
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I am impressed. Could you forward me a roll to try, but please make it the top shelf one...
 
You'd be wanting the premium bamboo toilet paper ?

Why not order 48 rolls for $56 ? It makes a great stocking stuffer at this time of year.
A truly unforgettable gift at Christmas.
 
Well, it would also make a practical gift for any loved one. Might not fit in a stocking, but certainly a gift wrapped roll under the tree would elicit shrieks of joy when the wrapping is torn away...
 
I got in a bind once on a fishing trip and didn't have any TP handy but I found a old paper sack in the bed of the truck and commenced to use it but what I failed to notice is that it had a staple in it......nuff said.
 
My toilet seat and lid close S_L_O_W_L_Y and quietly. Why? I don't know. I'm ashamed, but for years, my toilet seat and lid were closed by hand. Yes, after years of therapy I can now say this. I still don't know why most toilet seats and lids need to close slowly and silently. I assume it's to not wake the wife. But if she sleeps through a 200 lb. fat butt getting out of bed next to her, ain't not way she's going to hear a toilet seat.
 
I got in a bind once on a fishing trip and didn't have any TP handy but I found a old paper sack in the bed of the truck and commenced to use it but what I failed to notice is that it had a staple in it......nuff said.

A "friend" told me to use a dollar!!! He did not tell me the dimes would get lost!!!
 
"Butt" seriously folks, how about a bidet toilet seat? I've been using one for over a year now and don't know how I ever lived without one. Its slow close lid function is just one thing to appreciate.
 
Hmm, seems to be sensual to some and repulsive to others...
 


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