homeless person, or somone similar in need, how far would you personally go to assist them

Thank you for all the answers so far, for those who said no I have no more questions but appreciate your input.

Aunt Bea, interesting that you said you would give for any reason even a fix, as that was going to be ne of my questions.



So, if anyone of the cases I mentioned in my first post asked if you would take them for a meal what would you do? Let us presume for the moment there was no available charity facility they could go to.
 
Great topic! Scary stuff dpwspringer. We don't have a lot of panhandlers in small town Canada. You do see transients with signs in the summer months looking for money. I normally reply with a "can I buy you a burger, sandwich, and coffee". They always decline. I give more than I should to the homeless via the Salvation Army.
 

Those who give to charities etc are to be commended, I myself work at a church meal service and cook each week but the questions were not about referring folks to them. I also know several people who live alone with a bit of help under etreme circumstance but it is not what I wanted to find out.

It started among volunteers as a conversation in regard to a homeless shelter, there are many folks who will not go to them for reasons I will not go into here and it was wondered just how many people would respond to people in different situations asking for money and this is what I am trying to find out.

Some of you have answered that they would not give under any circumstances, others have said they would if they were sure of the reason, and a few have said they would without any need to know etc, one or two even gave more than was asked for. Some said no because they believe that some people make a living out of begging and feel that they don't deserve it, and many have said there are other ways of getting help.

My personal view which I haven't said yet s that yes I would give the change, if I had none I would give a few dollars. I would not care what they needed it for, if their immediate need was a fix I could not withhold the cash for that reason, it is their immediate need and I feel certain it is dire.

If someone asked me to take them for a meal, yes I would take them and I would eat with them.

The conversation we had the other night went further..folks asked what if the person wanted a shower would you allow them into your home, or if it was snowy and the shelters were full would you let them sleep in your house.

It was a very interesting conversation which went much further than loose change.

I think "there but for the Grace of God goes I' and I try to live up to that, I haven't been tested on some of the points mentioned above yet but it makes one think.


So maybe at this point I should say " how far would you go" remember one of choices I gave was a family and another was a child alone. so what would we do in those situations.
 
When my elder daughter was studying for her Phd at York uni, she used to visit the cathedral grounds for a bit of relaxation. She said that on a number of occasions a, presumably well meaning, lady offered to buy her a meal - which she declined. Having won a full scholarship which paid for all her expenses, she was already well provided for. (saved mum and dad a small fortune!)
 
At this point in my life I would not offer a stranger a shower or a night in my apartment. When I was young I did have some semi homeless friends that did couch surf among my circle of friends and it was no big deal. In our city when the weather is bad the homeless are encouraged to spend the night in the lobbies of public buildings and when it gets extremely cold it is a state requirement to try to round up the homeless and provide a warm place to wait out the cold. That law has become very controversial and I believe that now the police and shelter workers only go as far as offering to take people to a warm place.

If I came across a very young person, small child, in need I would call 911 and get a patrol car. If it was an older child, young adult, I would treat them the same way I would treat an adult in a similar situation.

One of the constant needs in my area, among the homeless, is the need for laundry money/laundry supplies. The local soup kitchen that I donate to appreciates plastic sandwich bags or yogurt containers filled with a one load scoop of detergent and a supply of quarters and dimes that they can give out to pay for a load of laundry. I have to admit that I'm generous and lazy so I give them the detergent, a box of sandwich bags and a couple rolls of change so they can have a volunteer measure the detergent and dole out the exact change.

If everybody does a little nobody will need to do a lot!
 
Jeannine said:
Interesting but I don't get the point you are making
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My daughter was slightly insulted because someone thought that she needed 'charity'.

As an athiest I feel uncomfortable with this notion of "There but for the grace of god" etc... Looking at this logically, if the "grace of god" placed you in a favourable position, then those less fortunate must have not been favoured with this "grace". So, is this god randomly dishing out good fortune to some, but not to others?

This all sounds too much like my mother who blindly asserted that things were "just god's way", but could never explain why .
 
I understand now and I can se her point, thank you

Re the biblical phrase, it is one of those things that can be interpreted differently, while I can see your reasoning it is not what I believe but there is the difference between a believer and a non believer and PLEASE do not read that as me feeling I am better than you, it's not, we just believe different things, not one better than the other.


Aunt Bea, yes I can understand your reply too, there is no doubt that age and heath can play a part in the decisions we have to make. Personally I expect few overnight visitors even from family these days as I no longer have the space and would not bring someone home to stay in the main house as my daughter and her husband live there so I would not be able to make that choice.. What I would probably do if I was asked for that particular favor by a family would probably take them to a motel and pay for a couple of nights. If a child I would stay with it or go into a café and call the authorities immediately. To be truthful though my first thoughts would want to take them home.
 
Capt Lightning said:
My daughter was slightly insulted because someone thought that she needed 'charity'.

As an athiest I feel uncomfortable with this notion of "There but for the grace of god" etc... Looking at this logically, if the "grace of god" placed you in a favourable position, then those less fortunate must have not been favoured with this "grace". So, is this god randomly dishing out good fortune to some, but not to others?

This all sounds too much like my mother who blindly asserted that things were "just god's way", but could never explain why .
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Capt,

Your post reminded me of the story of an old Indian Chief on the Niagara frontier and a young Jesuit Priest that had been sent to convert the pagan Indians to Christianity. The Chief and some members of the tribe took the young Priest out into the river, in a canoe, to give him a close up view of Niagara Falls. The Indians had paddled too close to the falls and the current was pulling them closer and closer to the rocks at the base of the falls. The young Priest shouted "put your faith in the Lord!" and the old Indian Chief yelled "put your faith in the Lord and your backs into those paddles, row away from the rocks!"

I'm not an atheist, I'm more like the old Indian Chief! IMO you and your daughter should not be offended if someone sees you outside of a church and offers you a meal, it may have been intended as an act of fellowship and not an act of charity.
 
Fabulous tale Aunt Bea. Thank you for sharing that.


I would not have reacted as Capn's daughter did but I can understand why a young person might .. all is well..all is well.. and truth be told I too would have rowed hard as well as relying on my faith.
 
I gave a lot more to panhandlers or homeless people on the streets when I was younger, I still give sometimes if I sense some sincerity and don't suspect they're scammers. A lot of people these days do this for a living and aren't even homeless.

When I give it doesn't matter their age or sex at all, why that would matter to some, I don't know. I was never asked for money on the street by a young child, but if I did we'd need to have a conversation of why they need the money, where their guardian is, and if I suspected they were in need of help I'd call 911....wouldn't feel good about giving a strange child money, something wrong there if parents aren't nearby.

I never asked the people what they needed the money for, but a couple of times they made it clear that it was for gas or bus fare. Once when I was younger I was gassing up my car after work and this teenager asked me for change for bus fare. I only had a quarter in my pocket and that's what I gave to him. He made an angry face and got snotty with me, raising his voice and telling me that ain't enough for no bus fare! In turn I raised my voice and told him that he better get a job then. :rolleyes: I don't think I ever gave more than $5 to a person in the street, but I do give larger amounts to local food banks, shelters and other charities on occasion.
 
As far as taking someone for a meal, do you mean in my car? For a female, I would. A child, absolutely- along with a phone call to the Dept. of Children's Services and/or the police.

Because of the sad and terrifying fact that there are many men who want to hurt and kill women, I would not take a teenage or fully adult male into my car nor would I walk any distance with them.

I wouldn't take any teenager or full grown adult home to spend the night with me, but I wouldn't leave the side of a child until a protective authority could take over. If there was no other shelter, I would drive a minor teenage girl to the local police station.
 
Yes, I understand that "there but for the grace..." is a much used phrase - not necessarily religious , more a "Be thankful for what you have..".

I was brought up in a Presbyterian household, and my mother especially, suffered from 'Blind faith' - never questioning anything. Things were the way they were. In my eyes, this was her greatest fault - the reluctance (or inability) to logically question things. From an early age, I found I could easily out-argue my parents, and that just made them mad. My mother was the sort who would give to anyone she thought was in need, but what did it buy her family? (that's rhetorical ) In the end, the cracks started to show in her stoic shell and I think she felt bitter that life had not dealt her a better hand.

So, I was determined that I wouldn't go down that route. Help the genuinely needy- yes, but remove the scroungers and parasites from streets.
I will not give to any of these 'beggars' - but I will (and do) give to organisations like the Salvation Army.
 
One day last summer while I was waiting at a traffic light, I saw a very young (maybe 15 or 16?) boy standing next to the road with a sign "Homeless and hungry. Too scared to steal." I had $3 in my pocket and gave it to him.
 
For a long time, we had many panhandlers standing (dangerously) in the middle of traffic intersections, seeking a handout when people stopped for a red light. Some of them had signs with stories about being homeless, etc. I made a practice of giving a dollar or two if they were obviously disabled (such as having only one leg). If they look ablebodied, I usually don't give them anything. Maybe some are on the level, others are just scam artists.

For a while a few of them were having a brief "war" about whose corner it was! They actually left signs asking people not to give to the other guy.

Haven't seen any of them for a while now. I wonder if it's illegal, and the police are cracking down. My main objection to them is that they are a distraction to drivers.
 
Capt Lightning said:
It's remarkable how many of these beggars / scroungers have dogs. I've heard it said that puppies or old dogs are the best for conning gullible people out of their hard earned cash. When the dog have served their purpose they are swapped for new ones. Well, how can they afford to keep dogs if they have no money? The dogs are simply 'props'.

I never give beggars money, and if they get aggressive, they soon regret it.
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not only dogs, cigarettes or a cell phone?
 
I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna but I see the dogs, that some homeless people travel with, as filling a need for companionship, friendship, unconditional love and something to care for that is more important than themselves.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna but I see the dogs, that some homeless people travel with, as filling a need for companionship, friendship, unconditional love and something to care for that is more important than themselves.
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I know that's true in some cases Bea, but I think sometimes they just use anybody's dog as a sympathy aid. I always get angry when I see them begging for money with a dog, no water bowl or anything in the heat of summer. I once gave a guy with a German Shepherd some money and told him to make sure that dog got some cans of food out of it, but what I said likely meant nothing, he'd agree to anything to get the cash.

I'm an animal lover, and it breaks my heart to see dogs put in that position. A good person who falls on hard times and is truly homeless and needy, I can see them wanting to keep their pet with them, I'd do the same. I wish they would have shelters that accepted the person's pet too, any homeless person who loved their pet would be more likely to use the shelter instead of the street. The ones who really didn't have a strong bond with their pets should give them to a no kill shelter, the animal would be better off.
 
RadishRose said:
As far as taking someone for a meal, do you mean in my car? For a female, I would. A child, absolutely- along with a phone call to the Dept. of Children's Services and/or the police.

Because of the sad and terrifying fact that there are many men who want to hurt and kill women, I would not take a teenage or fully adult male into my car nor would I walk any distance with them.

I wouldn't take any teenager or full grown adult home to spend the night with me, but I wouldn't leave the side of a child until a protective authority could take over. If there was no other shelter, I would drive a minor teenage girl to the local police station.
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Radish Rose, I agree with you. I've had a couple scary experiences with aggressive panhandlers, and I would never in a million years take someone I didn't know in my car or into my home. The police safety people here strongly advise that that can be fatal. It might be different where others live, but here, just no.
 

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