Happiness: Is it a State of Mind or is it Precious Moments?

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

Caregiver
Location
Midwest
I've always been wondering about happiness. Tonight I felt happiness while my little dog was lying on my chest and I was talking to her and she was cuddling with me and licked my face. That sweet love she gives unconditionally made me feel happiness for awhile. So I think that happiness is more about the precious moments than a permanent state of mind. I felt pure joy with my precious Suzy as I often do. I know there is also positive thinking but it's not the same thing I am talking about.
 

Happiness co-exists with it's opposite.
You can't be happy all the time.,as the saying goes "Into everyone's life a little rain must fall".
That is why Budhhists seek a state of mindfulness. It helps to maintain calm.
Mindfulness reaches beyond self-awareness and helps establish an affinity with nature, or your own little part of the Cosmos.

There are sad things happening all around us, loss, crime ,hate-speech, death, but at the same time there are children being born, people win the lottery or get into their chosen University.
An unemployed youth gets their first job. The reality of this balance is experienced with mindfulness.
So, happiness is a" choice " of a state of mind.You can choose to be happy or choose to be sad or look for a middle way.

A student once complained to his Bhuddhist teacher
" Master , i am too hot "
He replied
" Then go to where it is cooler "
Later the student complained,
" Master, now I am too cold "
He replied.
" Then seek what is in-between "

When you are sad you focus on negatives, but you can choose to change your focus , but my point is that if you try to be happy all the time then you start to feel uncomfortable because part of you knows other people are sad.
Just like the student who was too hot or too cold - it's better to find a balance.
Striving too much for happiness can make you sad.
 
Maybe it's both. When I was growing up, I was for the most part, in a state of happiness. When I married and had children it also was in a state of happiness. As the years went by, family members passed on, Kids left the nest, days of not feeling my best crept in. Bad knees, not being able to do all that I use to do. This is where the precious moments come into play. Having the Grand kids over. Still being able to get a holiday dinner together, Being able to still plant my garden, Enjoying my craft projects,those are all precious to me now.
 

Like everything else in life happiness takes a little work, the precious moments are the tangible results/reward that makes that work worthwhile.

“If you cannot see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.” - Christina Dodd
 
Not likely 5 years from now you will remember the moment you just described. If were lucky we get more precious moments that bring us joy than the negative moments. If we are really lucky we get long term moments like the birth of our children. Our state of mind at any given time depends on what the moments are.
 
A wise old friend once told me, "Don't delay your happiness because you've been seduced by the Someday Isles. That's the fantasy game of ... 'Someday I'll be (insert your own dream - rich, thin, beautiful, powerful, married, divorced, retired) and, whatever) and then I'll be happy.' Never stop striving for something better but be accepting of what simply IS."

I've lived almost 84 years and my life has had tremendous lows as well as highs but this advice has served me well through all.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
Maybe it's both. When I was growing up, I was for the most part, in a state of happiness. When I married and had children it also was in a state of happiness. As the years went by, family members passed on, Kids left the nest, days of not feeling my best crept in. Bad knees, not being able to do all that I use to do. This is where the precious moments come into play. Having the Grand kids over. Still being able to get a holiday dinner together, Being able to still plant my garden, Enjoying my craft projects,those are all precious to me now.
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I agree with you.
 
Happiness (positive state of mind) or sadness (negativity) are each a state of mind... each with speedbumps. I live in a positive state of mind. Many comment how easy going I am and how I never over-react about anything. Yet, over the years, there have been 'speedbumps' that have slowed the positive minds and driven it off course for short periods of time. OTOH, I know a number of folks who exist in negativity. They are always complaining about health, weather, people.... If the sun is out, it's either too bright or not bright enough. Every time they sneeze, they make a doctor appointment because they just know it's cancer... or worse. Have a dear friend who had a little cough. She just knew it was lung cancer. After going to two different doctors... she didn't believe the first CAT scan... she then knew it had to be allergies. After seeing their family practitioner and two allergists... all three who said it must have been a common cold since there was no longer any evidence of the cough... she still proclaims them wrong. She "self-medicates" with a constant regime of OTC allergy medication. Won't leave her home without a mask on. Her life is ruled by her belief that something... anything is wrong with her. I could not exist in such a negative state of mind.
 
Grumpy Ol' Man said:
Happiness (positive state of mind) or sadness (negativity) are each a state of mind... each with speedbumps. I live in a positive state of mind. Many comment how easy going I am and how I never over-react about anything. Yet, over the years, there have been 'speedbumps' that have slowed the positive minds and driven it off course for short periods of time. OTOH, I know a number of folks who exist in negativity. They are always complaining about health, weather, people.... If the sun is out, it's either too bright or not bright enough. Every time they sneeze, they make a doctor appointment because they just know it's cancer... or worse. Have a dear friend who had a little cough. She just knew it was lung cancer. After going to two different doctors... she didn't believe the first CAT scan... she then knew it had to be allergies. After seeing their family practitioner and two allergists... all three who said it must have been a common cold since there was no longer any evidence of the cough... she still proclaims them wrong. She "self-medicates" with a constant regime of OTC allergy medication. Won't leave her home without a mask on. Her life is ruled by her belief that something... anything is wrong with her. I could not exist in such a negative state of mind.
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Have you had any really joyous moments that exceed everything else?
 
The births of each of my three grandchildren. Births of each of my four children were pretty special but came with a lot of worries such as "am I really up to this job?" Grandbabies were pure joy.
 
Grumpy Ol' Man said:
Happiness (positive state of mind) or sadness (negativity) are each a state of mind... each with speedbumps. I live in a positive state of mind. Many comment how easy going I am and how I never over-react about anything. Yet, over the years, there have been 'speedbumps' that have slowed the positive minds and driven it off course for short periods of time. OTOH, I know a number of folks who exist in negativity. They are always complaining about health, weather, people.... If the sun is out, it's either too bright or not bright enough. Every time they sneeze, they make a doctor appointment because they just know it's cancer... or worse. Have a dear friend who had a little cough. She just knew it was lung cancer. After going to two different doctors... she didn't believe the first CAT scan... she then knew it had to be allergies. After seeing their family practitioner and two allergists... all three who said it must have been a common cold since there was no longer any evidence of the cough... she still proclaims them wrong. She "self-medicates" with a constant regime of OTC allergy medication. Won't leave her home without a mask on. Her life is ruled by her belief that something... anything is wrong with her. I could not exist in such a negative state of mind.
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Perhaps she has an inner unknown fear that is causing her hypochondria. Sounds like she needs a psychologist to dig out what her unaware fear is.
 
Do you think maybe a lot depends on one's personal definition of happiness? For a person who lives for excitement, they may recall times of euphoria as happiness. For someone more even keeled, they might define contentment as happiness. For those diagnosed with chemical depression it may take the right medication before they can find happiness.

I don't believe that happiness is always a choice for some. It's not something some people can conjure up with positive thoughts or practicing gratefulness daily. When I went thru peri-menopause, I felt sad and tired all the time and tried both. For the life of me I couldn't feel happy for some reason. Once my doctor got me on HRT, I felt like my old self again, happy to be alive and every day was once again a joy. Sadly I had to come off it ten years later and I really miss it.

So I think it's yes, it does have to do with your state of mind. But I also agree that special moments, even just the simple ones can make someone happy. As long as they are chemically balanced.
 
Ruthanne said:
I've always been wondering about happiness. Tonight I felt happiness while my little dog was lying on my chest and I was talking to her and she was cuddling with me and licked my face. That sweet love she gives unconditionally made me feel happiness for awhile. So I think that happiness is more about the precious moments than a permanent state of mind. I felt pure joy with my precious Suzy as I often do. I know there is also positive thinking but it's not the same thing I am talking about.
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Dogs are pure love, a gift from God.

But yea, happiness isn't(for me, for alot of people) something that can be sustainable constantly, just comes along either externally, or when you reach out and get some.
 
There was a guy we used to play handball with at the YMCA. He was an organized fellow. Everything in place. Even hung up his pants in his locker and his shirt.

One day he was asleep and my friend asked me "How can he be so happy all the time?"

I said. "He knows where all the nuts are buried".

Later on in life, his wife died. He was devastated. He died shortly after.
 

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