Yes, I have been drinking, it is the 7th anniversary of my husband's death, Help me.

Yes Ina, but it doesn't get any better. You had a much tougher time than me, but I can't see anything in the future.
i don't know what to do.
 
I don't mean this as a pious platitude, Vivjen, but if you asking for help to get through this day, then remember this


[SIZE=+3]The Serenity Prayer[/SIZE]​
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
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You did not have your husband yesterday and tomorrow will not bring him back to your arms.
By all means spend time today remembering what you shared together
but don't waste your life regretting something that is beyond your control.

One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, is how we get through days like this one.

 
My loss is no worse than anyone else's. When I felt like you are, someone asked me if there wasn't anything I ever wanted to do that I hadn't been able to do. For me, it was an education. I studied so hard I had less time to feel. Is there anywhere you have always wanted to go, or something you did not get to do? :hug:
 
What would you like to do to help fill in your time? join a social group for people in the same circumstances, maybe do social work, that can be very rewarding.
 
When I am in the pits, Vivjen, I just hang on because it eases up. I understand today is particularly hard.

We all need something to look forward to. If I were you, I would make that happen. A change of scenery from your overly depressing weather, somewhere warm and inviting, with someone, or even alone, will help somewhat in getting you out of despair. Make yourself put it together, finger wagging at you.

And know there are lots of us out here who care. Have yourself another drink or 3 and put yourself to bed and end this very bad day. ((HUGS))
 
Thanks, Katybug, and Fern. You are both so right, and I am trying....please let February be sunnier.
 
Winter weather certainly has an effect on our mental well being. Hang on Vivjen, look forward to the sunnier days, they are not too far away, in the meantime is there something you could get your teeth into to help pass those winter days.?
Genealogy has become a passion of mine, and it sure helps to blow away those blues.
 
Jen have a drink or three by all means. But use them to toast the fact that you were lucky enough to find and know someone you cared enough about to miss so much. Celebrate the years of knowing him, rather than trying to drown the sorrow of his loss.

You carry the memories that keep him real, not the others who are over it. It's up to you carry those memories proudly treasured and get on with living a different life to the one you hoped for. We all do to some extent.

I've never lost a husband but did lose a 'soul mate' and understand to some small extent the hole that must leave in your life, but there's still room around the hole to stack up with new experiences. The hole is just part of a bigger landscape. Pour some booze into it whenever you feel the need but don't pour everything else into it too okay?
 
Fern said:
Winter weather certainly has an effect on our mental well being. Hang on Vivjen, look forward to the sunnier days, they are not too far away, in the meantime is there something you could get your teeth into to help pass those winter days.?
Genealogy has become a passion of mine, and it sure helps to blow away those blues.
Click to expand...
Yes, Fern, I do that....currently researching WW1 medals.
If it ever stops raining, I think things will improve; today has just been awful
 
Hang in there Vivjen. I wish I knew how to make you feel better.

My mom buried 3 husbands and she gets really depressed. She always says what rotten luck she had, but I tend to think her husband's, one of which was my dad, didn't have such great luck either.

Warrigal said it best with the serenity prayer.
 
Thankyou... You have all been so kind; one reason for joining.

It has been an awful day; tomorrow will be better, I hope. After all, I have been here before; it is just that every year I think it will be easier, and it isn't.
When will I learn....
 
This is a Memorial Day of a lost loved one, and having days like that, and crying , is all a part of life. Feelings of all kinds are a deep part of life, and some days we just need to go with those feelings, whether we are happy, sad, angry, or whatever.

For me, when I have lost someone that I loved, sometimes I just need to cry, and the crying is a part of the healing.
Tomorrow will be better, and you will probably have a renewed hope in the future again, but today is what it is; so let the tears and sadness come when they need to, and tomorrow, let the sun shine again.

Blessings and prayers, and a <<<BIG HUG>>>
 
Hugs to you Vivjen...this is a sorrowful day, and you have to do what it takes to ease you through it. If I were there, I'd pour for you, let you cry on my shoulder and help you nurse your hangover tomorrow.

One day at a time..it's all you can do.
 
I am sorry; for myself!
all I can say is thanks one and all, you have given me the strength to carry on to tomorrow...and the day after.
maybe I shouldn't use the forum for my own misery, but it helps me no end...
Goodnight... Tomorrow is another day, and I may be embarrassed, but probably not.
 
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Vivjen said:
I am sorry; for myself!
all I can say is thanks one and all, you have given me the strength to carry on to tomorrow...and the day after.
maybe I shouldn't use the forum for my own misery, but it helps me no end...
Goodnight... Tomorrow is another day, and I may be embarrassed, but probably not.
Click to expand...
Don't give it a thought. We are all here for each other and it does indeed help immensely for you to be able to share, and not keep everything bottled up.

Good night Vivjen
 
Vivjen, sending love and warm thoughts your way. :rose: I don't know the feeling of losing my husband, and I get depressed just thinking about it. My heart goes out to you, and I'm glad you're posting about it on the forum. If it were me, I would like a place to go with friends there to comfort me on those sad days. I think it's good to talk about things with those who care. Tomorrow will be a better day...(((hugs))). :girl_hug:
 
I'm sorry, Viv.:(

Grief has no end, but you can do this, hon.

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