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Mother turkey, to mis-behaving son:
"Shame on you you bad little turkey! If your daddy could see you now, he's roll over in his gravy"!
 
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300. " "Easy, Dad," the boy replied. "I earned it hiking. " "Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth. " "That is the truth," the boy replied. "Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike! "
 
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