Two travelling monks reached a ford in a river. There they met a beautiful and voluptuous woman who had been swimming in the nude. She asked the monks if they could carry her across the river. The current had become too strong, and she couldn’t return to her clothing. One of the monks simply turned his head. The other monk bent down, and told the nude woman to climb upon his back. He hoisted her to his shoulders. Followed by his companion, he strode across the river and then set the woman down on the other bank. The naked woman hugged him in thanks, then went to retrieve her clothing.
As the monks continued on their journey, one was frowning and silent. Eventually, he spoke with anger. “Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women. But you put a naked one on your shoulders and carried her!”
“Brother,” the second monk replied, “I set that woman down on the other side of the river. But it seems that you are still carrying her.”
Emotional Intelligence
Among the many conclusions we might draw from this anecdote, one is that the monk who carried the naked woman had greater emotional intelligence than his friend. Emotional Intelligence, which was first identified in the nineties by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, is found in those who are aware of and can control their emotional responses to situations. Because of this ability, those who have this type of intelligence are able to cultivate and sustain relationships despite trying circumstances. As with the intelligence used to calculate math problems or to analyze a piece of literature, emotional intelligence requires knowledge, skills, and experience. It helps to have practice with a variety of people and situations. This is one reason why older persons have an emotional intelligence advantage.
Brain science provides another clue why emotional intelligence is often higher among older adults. Dopamine – a chemical messenger, responsible for taking messages between brain cells – isn’t as plentiful in the aging brain. As a result, older adults are generally less impulsive and less controlled by emotion than those who are younger. Negative events will produce a slower response. The older person, controlled by a brain less awash with dopamine, will naturally stop to think before acting.
When I imagine someone wise, the image of a calm and even-tempered individual comes to mind. For this reason, I wonder if emotional intelligence and wisdom go hand-in-hand. That said, I recall that Jesus himself overturned the tables in the marketplace. It makes me wonder if anger and other passionate responses might have a place in the wise personality.
Discussion Question: Can the wise also be emotional? Is masterful emotional control necessary for wisdom?
As the monks continued on their journey, one was frowning and silent. Eventually, he spoke with anger. “Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women. But you put a naked one on your shoulders and carried her!”
“Brother,” the second monk replied, “I set that woman down on the other side of the river. But it seems that you are still carrying her.”
Emotional Intelligence
Among the many conclusions we might draw from this anecdote, one is that the monk who carried the naked woman had greater emotional intelligence than his friend. Emotional Intelligence, which was first identified in the nineties by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, is found in those who are aware of and can control their emotional responses to situations. Because of this ability, those who have this type of intelligence are able to cultivate and sustain relationships despite trying circumstances. As with the intelligence used to calculate math problems or to analyze a piece of literature, emotional intelligence requires knowledge, skills, and experience. It helps to have practice with a variety of people and situations. This is one reason why older persons have an emotional intelligence advantage.
Brain science provides another clue why emotional intelligence is often higher among older adults. Dopamine – a chemical messenger, responsible for taking messages between brain cells – isn’t as plentiful in the aging brain. As a result, older adults are generally less impulsive and less controlled by emotion than those who are younger. Negative events will produce a slower response. The older person, controlled by a brain less awash with dopamine, will naturally stop to think before acting.
When I imagine someone wise, the image of a calm and even-tempered individual comes to mind. For this reason, I wonder if emotional intelligence and wisdom go hand-in-hand. That said, I recall that Jesus himself overturned the tables in the marketplace. It makes me wonder if anger and other passionate responses might have a place in the wise personality.
Discussion Question: Can the wise also be emotional? Is masterful emotional control necessary for wisdom?
