Seniors, Have You Ever Been In An Abusive Relationship?

Canada also has child abuse prevention/intervention ads, and children’s free helpline phone numbers are in the phone book. Every crisis centre has such ads also, colleges etc. Mental health facilities.
 
Shalimar said:
Canada also has child abuse prevention/intervention ads, and children’s free helpline phone numbers are in the phone book. Every crisis centre has such ads also, colleges etc. Mental health facilities.
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Oh we most certainly DO have many ads about child abuse. There are many services offered for this and it’s taken very seriously. Ads are EVERYWHERE; on tv, on posters, at medical clinics, schools etc.
Absolutely. Canada is great in this department.
 
Traveler said:
I grew up in an extremely abusive family where my step father was both physically and emotionally abusive of everyone, all 8 kids and my mother. Everyone got "the stick" but for some reason I never understood, I got the worst of it. Perhaps it was because I was the oldest and the only child of mom's previous marriage.

I remember a story my great-grandmother told me when I was in my teens. She told me that when I was not quite 2 years old she had it out with my mom regarding the bruises all over my body. When great grandmother, said to my mom, "Just look at the bruises on that baby. If he (my future step-father) will do that to Rickey now, before you even marry Bill (my step-father), then God help the both of you if you marry him". According to gran-ma, my mom replied, "But I love Bill (step-father)".

To this very day I still can't understand the bizarre thinking behind that. What makes a woman chose a physically abusive man over her own child?

In this particular case, mom had a steady job as a clerk in a department store, and by all accounts she was able to support the both of us. So, money could not be a factor.

The beatings continued and resulted in broken bones until I finally left home for good at age 15 and lived on the streets.

I once, many, many years later confronted mom and she broke down crying. I felt like a heel for making mom cry and I let her off the hook. I never got an answer from her. "Why, mom. Why"
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I have to say this:

Your stepdad would have been a good candidate for The Burning Bed. I am dead serious.

Hey, I had an uncle who was unspeakably abusive to all 3 wives and his kids. Caused lots of heartache to lots of people. He died in pain and alone. Some people grieved, but not me. Another Burning Bed candidate.

Again, I'm not trying to be cute or funny. I'm dead serious. :mad:
 
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I don't think I ever understood this. With all of my past history I only dealt with the physical as a child.

But I should have seen the symptoms of an emotional abuser in the pattern leading up to now. You can forgive and forgive until the final blowup ends by kicking you to the curb. I guess the good thing is that this is now over until the next victim lives it all over again.

No wonder people build strong walls around themselves. Never again.

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Not as an adult. Except some literal sh*! I had to put up with at work, including verbal abuse.

However growing up in an abusive house, messed things up for me big time as an adult. I don't trust anyone, I can't maintain a relationship, I always ended them. Figured out I'm better off alone. Thank goodness for cats.
 
Traveler said:
It is my firm conviction that the great mass of the population cares much more about animal abuse than they do about the abuse of people.

Think about this: during the last month, how many TV ads have you seen about the abuse of animals and how many have you seen about the abuse of children ? Where I live, I see a dozen or more ads re: abuse of animals every week. I have NEVER seen one, not one ad about abuse of children.

What does that say about our society and us as humans ?
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I'm two things, someone who loves animals and I was an abused child. Parents can present themselves as anything they want and some of them believe it. Not all abuse leaves visible scars. Child abuse is from the rich to the poor. It's so diverse. Also as a child, teen and even young adult, I would have denied the abuse. I was conditioned and it was all I knew.

When I owned that house, those creeps next to me got a kitten who was out at all hours. She finally had kittens herself and I saw some kids throwing rocks at her once. She was in my yard one day and hungry. I fed her and called the shelter. They said if she's in my yard I could legally bring her in and I did.

I've never forgotten that cat and wish that perhaps I should have gone back and got her. Since of course they never went to claim her. This was not a high kill shelter and I hope she got a home. She was doomed with those people.

And that trash harassed me and I'll be thought they were great people.
 
Not no, but hell no. One boyfriend got angry and jerked my arm at a party after he had told me several times he wanted to leave. I poured my full drink over his head and said "I think you need to cool off" right in front of everyone. It was an instinctive response without forethought.
 
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AnnieA said:
Not no, but hell no. One boyfriend jerked my arm at a party after he had told me several times he wanted to leave. I poured my full drink over his head and said "I think you need to cool off" right in front of everyone. It was an instinctive response without forethought.
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Yeah, I guess he was pretty stupid.

He should have left your ass there and walked away forever. Nobody needs an unthinking serial abuser in his life.

Or what did I miss?
 
When I was 19/20 years old I was so naïve and married the first guy to come along so I could get away from my verbally abusive mother. Unfortunately, I was beaten and held at knife point when he was drunk and/or on drugs and flew into a rage. It kept my Guardian Angel busy for years. I finally got out of that situation. I'm fortunate to be alive to tell the story.
 
Colleen said:
When I was 19/20 years old I was so naïve and married the first guy to come along so I could get away from my verbally abusive mother. Unfortunately, I was beaten and held at knife point when he was drunk and/or on drugs and flew into a rage. It kept my Guardian Angel busy for years. I finally got out of that situation. I'm fortunate to be alive to tell the story.
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OMG Colleen. This was not your fault. It happens to a lot of people who grew up with abuse. Because you didn't know your worth being raised like that. And at such a young age.
 
dilettante said:
Yeah, I guess he was pretty stupid.

He should have left your ass there and walked away forever. Nobody needs an unthinking serial abuser in his life.

Or what did I miss?
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Lol. He laid hands on me in anger when he jerked my arm and that is not acceptable even to my subconscious. He sent me a dozen roses the next day. We dated a few more years and he never touched me in anger again so I never poured anything else on his head.
 
AnnieA said:
Lol. He laid hands on me in anger when he jerked my arm and that is not acceptable even to my subconscious. He sent me a dozen roses the next day. We dated a few more years and he never touched me in anger again so I never poured anything else on his head.
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Sorry, I should have just shut up. I'm in a shit mood right now, but I should know better.
 
dilettante said:
I don't think I ever understood this. With all of my past history I only dealt with the physical as a child.

But I should have seen the symptoms of an emotional abuser in the pattern leading up to now. You can forgive and forgive until the final blowup ends by kicking you to the curb. I guess the good thing is that this is now over until the next victim lives it all over again.

No wonder people build strong walls around themselves. Never again.

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What made you resurrect this 6 year old thread?
 
dilettante said:
Found myself in this situation today. I thought my post was pretty explicit. I'm done. Trust issues are already a lot of pain to deal with, but it seems that flareups may pass but they never correct and just fester until they eventually explode in your face out of nowhere.
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Do you mean mentally you feel like you are losing it? Do you live with anyone else? I’m sorry you aren’t doing well. I’m having a difficult time cognitively so please forgive my ignorance. I didn’t really understand your post.
 
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To any seniors being abused. There are help hotlines you can call. They can help by talking to you. They can help you deal with domestic violence. Domestic violence needs specialized help . It’s very difficult ratting out someone you love and very difficult dealing with someone you love getting aggressive.
Doing nothing doesn’t work. People can help you deal with it better. These people know how difficult this is. Both genders can be in abusive relationships. It’s usually much harder for men to ask for help but sometimes you need to.
 
dilettante said:
Sorry, I should have just shut up. I'm in a shit mood right now, but I should know better.
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Apology accepted. Think you leapt to the guy's defense because you're hurting. That boyfriend went on to marry twice and was a cheating, POS husband to both wives. So thankful I wised up and didn't marry that first teenage love.
 

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