Extramarital Sex-How Do You Feel About it?

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

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Extramarital sex

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


"Paramour" redirects here. For the Cirque du Soleil Broadway musical, see Paramour (Cirque du Soleil).
Extramarital sex occurs when a married person engages in sexual activity with someone other than his or her spouse. From a different perspective, it also applies to a single person having sex with a married person. From a religious perspective, it could also have a third interpretation as referring to sex between people who are not in a conjugal relationship.
Where extramarital sexual relations breach a sexual norm, it may also be referred to as adultery (sexual acts between a married person and a person other than the spouse), fornication (sexual acts between unmarried people), philandery, or infidelity. These terms may also carry moral or religious consequences in civil or religious law.

More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extramarital_sex

So, on this subject of extramarital sex do you feel it is ever right?

Please give your opinion on the subject. Thank you.




 

A torment to consider

Torrid…. in the moment

Regretful too many years after

Right?

Too many varied circumstances

Not mine to determine
 
Right or wrong depends on more than even the bible or courts of the land have recorded
But, whether justifiable or not, it's not a remedy.

Just my opine
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I agree with Gary, having seen the misery some people inflict on their partner, it may offer some comfort but dosn’t solve the problem
 
I think it is more rampant than many think....want to believe.

Been single all but three years of my adult life. Dated a gal [for a year] back in 1992, she was married but getting a divorce ! I found myself starting to care...I also found myself starting to doubt her...broke it off...she is still married to the same man.

The same man that once split her head open with an iron pipe ! I guess nothing says I love you like a whack on the head?

Remember what I said about doubting her.
 
Saw this story in the news a couple days ago:

Police: Lover's wife lay in wait to kill ex-UD official Meredith Chapman


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Jennair Gerardot sent a series of texts to her husband, Mark, on Monday in which she laid out how she planned to kill the woman with whom he was having an affair.Sometime before 7 p.m. Monday, Radnor Township, Pennsylvania, police said, Jennair Gerardot of Wilmington broke into the home of a former University of Delaware communications official and waited for her to come home, then shot her once before turning the gun on herself
.​
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Police later received a 911 call around 7:05 for "two people down" and "blood on the floor."


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(more)
https://www.delawareonline.com/stor...er-suicide-involves-delaware-woman/545135002/

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If I remember correctly, fidelity is a part of the marriage vow. I gave my word to be faithful and so did my partner; I expected fidelity. Sneaking around behind your partner's back is breaking your word and dishonest. if both partners want to have an "open" marriage and invalidate that vow, then they have that right. It's not for me - too many things can go wrong - up to and including VD - some of which can be fatal. If you are no longer "in love" with or sexually attracted to your partner, have the integrity to get a divorce.
 
It reminds me of the section of James Michener's "Hawaii" where the missionaries are trying to translate the Ten Commandments into Hawaiian. Everything is going fine until they get to "thou shalt not commit adultery".

What kind of adultery, ask the Hawaiians.

Adultery is adultery, reply the missionaries.

Not so, the Hawaiians insist, there are (I'm making up a number here....) 35 different kinds of adultery......married man with married woman, married man with unmarried woman, married man with married sister-in-law, married man with unmarried sister-in-law, etc, etc. If you just say "thou shalt not commit adultery" then the people will say oh they're not talking about MY kind of adultery. If you list all 35 kinds, someone will say, hey there's one I haven't tried yet!

Hmmm, how to handle this? Finally, the missionaries translated "thou shalt not commit adultery" to "thou shalt not sleep mischievously". Did the trick.

As far as how I feel about it? I am against adultery. Always have been, always will be. If you're going to be married, be married....and faithful. If you need sex outside marriage, don't be married.

"Extramarital" sex between two people who are not married to each other, not married to anyone else, not committed to anyone else and of age? Well, that's another matter. I'm OK with it. I'd have to be......I've been having extramarital sex for about nine years now. I am "living in sin" by many peoples' standards. In another age I'd have to wear a scarlet letter. In another culture, I'd be stoned. Here, I'm just a POSSLQ (U.S. Census talk for Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters). They don't have scarlet P's. I'm safe.
 
I’ve been ‘living in sin’ for almost 30 years. I’m just not the marrying type BUT it’s still a committed relationship the same as a marriage. In our hearts and the eyes of the law we are married.

Relationships take work. They aren’t always easy. Sometimes they are very difficult but when you commit to someone, that means taking the bad with the good. The struggles are what build strong relationships and if you make it through that then the rest is easy sailing.

I just couldn’t do that to my significant other. Just the thought of sneaking around and needing to lie, turns my stomach.
No! To me trust is everything in a relationship and cheating with someone else is breaking that trust. This isn’t something I’d be willing to live with at all; not on my part or my partners.
 
It's not good for anybody, causes more harm than anything else in ways some younger and inexperienced couples don't even realize yet!

Those that have done so and regret it and resume as a faithful partner/parent, etc., just pray your spouse never finds out. Don't "relieve" your conscious on he/she to make yourself feel better. You will visit untold misery on your spouse and therefore negate any relief you may be seeking. You will both grieve. As may your children.

Here is where I falter ... suppose witnesses, people trusted by your spouse tells on you? What then, should you do? I really don't know, keep lying?

Better off to avoid the whole mess, it's not worth it. IMO.
 
RadishRose said:
Yes, one time is one cheat.
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I agree, it's not 3 strikes you're out....it only takes once, you're busted. Just because the cheater hasn't been found out yet, doesn't make them any less guilty. Just the fact that the cheater could continue in that relationship with the person that doesn't know, would be enough to kick their behind out the door.
 
fmdog44 said:
Is it cheating if a person has a one time thing then never is discovered? I'm a life long bachelor so this does not apply to me.
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If a married person has sex - even just once - with someone other than his/her spouse but is never discovered, YES, that is cheating/infidelity/adultery.
 
fmdog44 said:
Is it cheating if a person has a one time thing then never is discovered? I'm a life long bachelor so this does not apply to me.
Click to expand...

A cheater never wins
Remember that one?
It also applies to marriage….or committed relationships, whatever it’s called these days.
One time, many times, whatever
As I said before, there are so many situations, I could not judge why some stray

However

Some think they get off
Some actually get off on it…couldn’t be faithful if their life depended on it
It makes me sick to my stomach

If I was unfaithful, I couldn’t look that person in the face…ever
I like looking in the face of loved ones
It’s what faces are for
Saving yer own takes moral fiber, honesty, commitment
Some never learn, or want to
Some just know before having to learn….maybe from parents, or friends
 
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