Agressive panhandling?

Sunny said:
About 15 years ago, on a trip to Italy, our little tourist group was frequently followed by bands of gypsies. They had children and babies with them.They were notorious pickpockets, and the tour guides absolutely despised them. They kept chasing them away from us. Probably they zeroed in on the fact that these were innocent, mostly American tourists.
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While I was traveling I often ran into this idea that Americans are child-like and kind of stupid. I hope that's an old, outdated misconception.

I don't carry a purse anymore. I keep my money in a man's-style wallet, in the front thigh pocket of my cargo pants, which I wear regularly. I do not care if they are in fashion or not, I love them.
 

C_Sally said:
I don't carry a purse anymore. I keep my money in a man's-style wallet, in the front thigh pocket of my cargo pants, which I wear regularly. I do not care if they are in fashion or not, I love them.
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I'm like you Sally, been decades since I carried a purse, maybe once in a blue moon for a formal occasion like a wedding or something. I have a bi-fold men's wallet that I keep in my back jean or cargo pant pocket, I'm casual everyday and it suits me just fine, plus I feel my wallet is much more secure than in a handbag.
 
Sunny said:
About 15 years ago, on a trip to Italy, our little tourist group was frequently followed by bands of gypsies. They had children and babies with them.They were notorious pickpockets, and the tour guides absolutely despised them. They kept chasing them away from us. Probably they zeroed in on the fact that these were innocent, mostly American tourists.
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My grandmother who was born and raised on a farm in the Ozarks told us that when she was a child gypsy women and children would come to their front door and beg. And while her family's attention was on the gypsy women and children at the front door, the gypsy men were in the back barn area stealing chickens.
 

KingsX said:
My grandmother who was born and raised on a farm in the Ozarks told us that when she was a child gypsy women and children would come to their front door and beg. And while her family's attention was on the gypsy women and children at the front door, the gypsy men were in the back barn area stealing chickens.
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This was common in the small town where I spent my early childhood, in central Calif, early 50's. When the local "gypsies" (who I understand were southeastern European immigrants) hit on a home that was easy pickin's, or where the homeowners were particularly kind or gullible, they marked it with an X with a piece of burnt wood. The mark would be put on the lowest board of an outside wall facing away from the front door and driveway. That household would suddenly have "gypsies" at their door almost daily. Many of them would offer to fix something broken...but they rarely fixed them permanently.

I remember the men smelling of burnt wood. They sat at campfires, but also, in the breast pocket of their coats was that piece of wood with the burnt tip.
 
Sunny said:
About 15 years ago, on a trip to Italy, our little tourist group was frequently followed by bands of gypsies. They had children and babies with them.They were notorious pickpockets, and the tour guides absolutely despised them. They kept chasing them away from us. Probably they zeroed in on the fact that these were innocent, mostly American tourists.
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That happens a lot in North Africa too. Locals target tourists. But it's worrying to watch panhandling become aggressive in America, especially when it reaches suburbia. In MA. Mass transit is extending to residential communities so needy people can more easily commute from the inner city to the burbs. I think this may be part of the problem.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I'm like you Sally, been decades since I carried a purse, maybe once in a blue moon for a formal occasion like a wedding or something. I have a bi-fold men's wallet that I keep in my back jean or cargo pant pocket, I'm casual everyday and it suits me just fine, plus I feel my wallet is much more secure than in a handbag.
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Over the past ten years I've approached at least 50 women while shopping. The unattended gaping purse sits in the cart's child seat as the shopper walks a few steps and turns her back to the cart while looking at something. I gently get her attention, point to her open purse and suggest that she may not want to be trusting. It takes a thief only a few seconds to grab a wallet when a shopper's back is turned. (My friend's wallet was stolen from her purse when she was shopping at Costco. I learned from her hard luck experience.) Every single time the women have thanked me, closed their purses and taken them out of their carts.

Long ago I developed the habit of keeping my purse strap on my shoulder, even if the purse itself is resting in the baby seat. When I walk from my cart to look at something, my purse comes along.

Re Gypsies - we saw dozens of them in Spain and Italy and was once targeted in an elevator by a few who were using an adorable baby as a distraction. It took a few seconds to realize what they were up to. I swung my purse out in front of me and firmly placed my arm across the front of it. On the advice of a friend who often travels internationally, Hubs and I wear money belts when out of the country (Canada excepted), so they wouldn't have gotten much anyway.
 
That's fascinating, C_Sally! I have to wonder, with all the cleverness and skill it takes to research the "easy marks," the burnt wood gimmick, the distraction techniques so they could go out to the barn and steal chickens...
why don't they just get a job? They certainly sound intelligent enough!
 
Sunny said:
That's fascinating, C_Sally! I have to wonder, with all the cleverness and skill it takes to research the "easy marks," the burnt wood gimmick, the distraction techniques so they could go out to the barn and steal chickens...
why don't they just get a job? They certainly sound intelligent enough!
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I think it's how they choose to live. Historically, real gypsies were nomadic, and lived off the land and people's distractability and carelessness. They play music and tell stories all night, sleep late and basically forage urban-style. They don't do the 9 to 5 under a boss's nose thing.
 
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Many years ago, as my son and I were getting out of the car at our suburban neighborhood CVS store, there was a well-groomed, neatly-dressed able-bodied young white man standing outside the door. He was not the panhandler stereotype. So I was surprised [and kinda ticked off] when he asked me for money. I pointed to my son and said I am a single working mother of a disabled son... and you, an able-bodied young man, are begging for money?! His excuse was he had run from Hurricane Katrina and had left New Orleans with nothing. I don't know if that was true or not. But after thinking about it while shopping, I felt guilty. I was going to give him some money as I left... but he was gone.
 
CarolfromTX said:
Many of those "in dire need" are where they are in life because of a long series of bad decisions.
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The thing is one never knows. Mental illness for one. Many other issues like people who work and live in their cars. Personally I'd do my best to get out of an insanely high rent area that some of these people live in.

There are also those that have such personality disorders they can't function. They are entitled that the world owes them. Why work. I worked with plenty of these when I worked at a state psychiatric hospital for a year. I didn't have alot of empathy for them. I think a lot of these males (and they seemed to be all males) find women to latch onto. Once I was watching "Dog the Bounty Hunter" They got a guy and The Dog was talking to him, he was I think 29, had a woman and kids "what keeps you going what kind of work have you done" the guy replies "I've never worked" But he gets food, sex and a place to live. I don't know what is with those women, they seem to need a man that bad.
 
Years ago, when I was working downtown here, we had a real problem with very aggressive panhandlers, especially after dark -- so much so that if it was dark when I left the office I would insist that a male member of staff accompany me to my car. I additionally insisted that if I was required to work overtime on something that just "had to be" ready first thing in the morning that a male staff member had to wait for me to be finished and walk me to my car.

As a side benefit of all this, it was amazing how many things that "had to be" ready first thing in the morning suddenly could wait until later.
 
When I talked about aggressive panhandlers, I was talking about those who would get right up in your face, sometimes trying to grab you, and threateningly demanding (not asking for, but demanding) that you give them money. They were often in groups of two or three and were very frightening. I don't judge those less fortunate than I, but that kind of aggressive panhandling seriously crosses the line.
 
C'est Moi said:
And some have had devastatingly bad luck.
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I know I could potentially get slammed for this but I've been rather surprised at the lack of empathy I've noted on this and another senior forum at times. I originally sought out a over 50 forum because I was tired of the know it all attitude of some of the young people on a forum I frequented. They were actually very mean at times making group attacks.

Yet here I've read posts from people who seem to have everything settled in their retirement years, have no empathy for others that have financial worries. Not everyone had a job that gave them a decent pension check. Not everything, like having your house payed off, works for everyone. A single person may have no want or need for a house and seeks other living options.

You are right, you never know what happened to someone in their lives to get them to the situation they are in now. I'm stuck where I live, if I want to move or not and I'm experiencing severe stress with absolutely no support over health issues with my stepfather. I'm getting to the point of wondering if this is going to shorten my own life. My other choice is only to move away and abandon him and that's a choice? Not really.
 
Here in ABQ services for homeless & indigent have been expanding in kind & quantity every year, but the aggressive stuff still been a problem. An ordinance was passed forbidding begging in medians & traffic & the ACLU got it blocked. Ther is a certain number that actually really refuse the services offered, rather be free, won't stay in shelters. When any stranger approaches me in a parking lot with a request I've started screaming "Get away from me " & keep it up till they do. I've seen panhandlers be picked up from their "spots" by people in nice cars. Their situations are pitiful but I hate having to be constantly on alert just walking from my car to a store .
 
Kitties I have sympathy & empathy for folks in difficulty who are working with legit sources to try to solve their problems but not for those who have chosen to become career criminals.
 
I just wish to say that because someone doesn't contribute to someone else in need doesn't mean they are mean or selfish. I give generously to local charities that provide transportation so people can work, provide housing, provide shelters, provide two meals a day, provide job training. I feel like I do my part.
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Yes, everyone has their own story including those who choose not to give to panhandlers. I was the victim of an assault/robbery about fifteen years ago(not by a panhandler). That kind of sticks with you so when a twenty year old stranger who is much larger than me tries to get in my face to try to get money of course I'm intimated. It's not that I'm selfish, it's that the validity of my own safety takes priority. Well... maybe that does make me selfish in the eyes of some. But it makes perfect sense to me.
 
Sometimes it's a tough call.

I resent donating to some of the organized charities that have a fleet of new vehicles and pay a six-figure salary to a person that oversees a soup kitchen handing out bologna sandwiches.

I also can see why people are reluctant to give directly to a panhandler for fear that they will use the money for drugs or booze.

The truth is I've done both and probably will again.

We all do the best we can.
 
Kitties said:
Yet here I've read posts from people who seem to have everything settled in their retirement years, have no empathy for others that have financial worries....
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How a person handles money is an important consideration.

After meeting a broke young mother of small children, my first inclination was
to give her money, until I saw her light up a cigarette.

A friend has always earned more income than I... with less family responsibility.
Because of bad decisions, she is in constant financial worry. I have thought about
giving her money... but I know that it would be likewise squandered. So I don't.

For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance.
Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.

Matthew 25:29
 
For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance.
Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.
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Sounds a lot like our current state of affairs. (Even though I doubt that is what you meant.)
 
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