Greedy Parents Throw The Worst Baby Showers

FORGET nappies with chocolate poo and guess the baby’s weight games. Just when you thought baby showers couldn’t get any more cringe-worthy, this mum-to-be comes along.
Parenting site mommyish.com have uncovered this gem of a poem, sent in by one of their readers who decided not to attend the baby shower of an “acquaintance, if you can even call her that. They sat next to each other at graduation and they have some mutual friends in common, but they are not friends. I repeat, they are not friends.”
After the shower had been thrown, the woman received this poem:
We’re sorry you missed the shower!
There was fun and games to be had
The food and drinks not too bad
The loot was a plenty
But we looked high and low and found none from you
Not even a shiny penny!
Babies need a lot
Of this fact we all know
So we’ve included some shops below!
If none are to your liking, and that we understand
Then grab a pen and get to writing
For checks are to our liking!
The *** Family is registered at these stores and checks can be mailed to this address.
In short, even though you didn’t come to the baby shower, we still want a present from you. But the story gets worse.
If you happen to attend the aforementioned shower but your present wasn’t to the family’s liking, this was the poem you would have received — we kid you not:
We loved seeing you at the shower
Remember how the gifts they did tower?
We sorted them for hours
Upon sifting and sorting we noticed something amiss
For your gift didn’t match the list
To fix your situation we listed our stores below
But a check could also help us flow!

 
I feel sorry for the bub born into such a materialistic family.
Can you report child abuse pre-emptively?

On the other hand, Jillaroo, are you reporting first hand, or did you get that in an email?
Should I refer to Snopes?
 
Wow, that is really greedy...and tacky! I don't even agree with registering at stores with your wish list, then someone just picks out which one of the things you chose, and they pay for it. That is something I don't understand. I know people don't want two gifts that are the same, but I think that the guests should give the gift that they chose for you. That's what makes it so special, IMO, a personal touch. The whole thing seems pretty cold to me.
 
My daughter threw a "goodbye to my uterus" party just before her hysterectomy operation.

What an opportunity she missed there.
No wish list at the bottle shop or the cosmetics counter to help her feel better after the op.
 
Thanks, Jillaroo. It's all over the internet ATM

I just found a rebuttal poem that you might enjoy.

I didn't attend so let's be clear,
You're not someone that I hold dear.
I took the time to go out drinking,
A better use of my time, I'm thinking.

You should feel great; I raised a glass,
Not to you, because you're an ass.
"A toast!" I cried "For this poor child,
Would be better raised by creatures wild.

We should rejoice in a baby's birth,
To a family steeped in love and mirth
Alas that some, born with a curse
Whose parents love is for the purse

So raise your glass, do it quickly!
For children's souls raised to be sickly."
I could be wrong, I sincerely doubt it
For a gift from me? "Can't do without it!"

You who know me not at all
Sent me this message - you have such gall!
Take my advice, don't be a jerk
Shit like this just doesn't work

I wish you well, your family too
They all need help, to put up with you
Your thoughts in verse may have seemed witty
But from me and Reddit - you have our pity.
 
I think I have heard of them in the UK, but they are certainly not the norm here. It is a custom we could well do without!
 
For a time in the '80s, babies were being born right and left among the many young women where I worked. There were many, many baby showers in the breakroom. SO, I gathered a couple of my buddies and we would stand as the side of the gathering and loudly Ooh and Ahh along with the women. Good times.
 
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