Forgiveness

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Bearwoman

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I learned years ago to just forgive those who hurt me cause otherwise I would had remained in their lives as a prisoner forever and ever.

There has been a lot less unneeded and unwanted stress in my life ever since I forgave them. Doesn't mean that I let them off scott free but it made me a less grudgeful and a more peaceful person.

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I've never been all that good with forgive & forget.

I've always gone by, "there's two types of people in the world 'us' and 'them' ".....if you're a 'us' and you do something to hurt or offend me or mine you go to the 'them' list and once there you can never be fully trusted to be a 'us' again.
 

Bearwoman said:
I learned years ago to just forgive those who hurt me cause otherwise I would had remained in their lives as a prisoner forever and ever.
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Not me. I hold a grudge forever.

For example there was this bully back in school that tormented me.

He didn't show up at our 50th High School reunion, but I was ready for him.

And if he shows up at our 55th next year, Ima open up a big ole can o whoop ass on him!

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No forgiveness in my extended family life?, no. But it could have been, but my dad isn't that way, although it was some hurtful things said about my mom. But that very person gave my mom a beautiful eulogy. Of course, that was family. As far as other people just being mean for the sake of it, I understand not feeling or needing to forgive. We do have to be true to ourselves as far as how much we're willing to take.
 
tirtiecat I agree with you and your post. Life is way way to short to hold grudges against anyone cause someday the one who wronged someone their life will catch up with them sooner or if not later.
 
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There is no revenge like oblivion, for it is the entombment of the unworthy in the dust of their own nothingness.

Baltasar Gracian
 
Even though free, forgiveness is a rich benefit, rewarding the giver and the recipient all at once

It removes the burden of the offender, and the offended

It beautifies the ugliness of mankind



It’s the sunrise after the storm

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I like to think I live in a state of forgiveness all the time. But I do not put up with toxic people and it might look to an observer that I am unforgiving. I just put negative people 100% out of my life as much as possible. A few of them don't even realize I have done that. They just think I haven't been able to visit them and that I'm not home when they call me. The ones who would come to my home, I do tell to leave. That's happened a few times.
 
Linda said:
I like to think I live in a state of forgiveness all the time. But I do not put up with toxic people and it might look to an observer that I am unforgiving. I just put negative people 100% out of my life as much as possible.
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Precisely me. I won't stand for toxic people, so out they go....
 
While I do realize that holding a grudge hurts only the holder I cannot help but think of a coworker long ago who said "If you want forgiveness........go to church".
 
It's hard to forgive someone when they turn around and take up where they left off with what hurt you as if your feelings doesn't matter to them.
 
I never actually faced them face to face in telling them that I had forgiven them but later I chose to just disown them.It was a lot better for me all the way around.
 
When I was growing up my Dad told be that if someone did something to offend me to just walk away and stop being friends with them. He said it was their problem, not mine because they lost a good friend but I didn't lose anything. I have followed his advice and I never look back and dwell on what they did. This brought to mind something that happened a long time ago. A so called friend of mine told a lie about me. I never bothered with her again. Then 5yrs later she approached me, apologized and asked and she said she missed having me as a friend. I said that is where we are different. She lost a friend but I didn't.
 
To err is human,,,,,,,,,,,

Sassycakes said:
When I was growing up my Dad told be that if someone did something to offend me to just walk away and stop being friends with them. He said it was their problem, not mine because they lost a good friend but I didn't lose anything. I have followed his advice and I never look back and dwell on what they did. This brought to mind something that happened a long time ago. A so called friend of mine told a lie about me. I never bothered with her again. Then 5yrs later she approached me, apologized and asked and she said she missed having me as a friend. I said that is where we are different. She lost a friend but I didn't.
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I think your dad was giving you wise advice, as mine used to try to do as well, when he told me "friends don't last forever".

"On the other hand" they do say "To err is human, to forgive divine", so maybe there should be a little flexibility given sometimes, if you can manage it.
 
grahamg said:
I think your dad was giving you wise advice, as mine used to try to do as well, when he told me "friends don't last forever".

"On the other hand" they do say "To err is human, to forgive divine", so maybe there should be a little flexibility given sometimes, if you can manage it.
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You are right about to err is human,to forgive devine. I called her a few years ago when I heard she had Parkinson's disease . And I occasionally call her still to ask how she s doing.
I've let the past be the past and I feel very sorry for her.
 

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