Joining a charity group but not interested in the charity

L

LoveTulips

Senior Member
Location
British Columbia, Canada
I know this sounds weird. But there is this group of older women who hold monthly meetings , set up a craft fair, a thrift fair, etc. all for a very good cause. But this cause is not close to my heart, in fact it's probably the furthest thing in my mind that I would volunteer for.

But here is the thing, I kind of like the vibe of these ladies and they are not (like at my senior centre) boring and looking like they are on their last legs and acting like it. My mom was 83 when she passed and she was so with it and mentally and physically active, that this is kind of the type of older, elderly women, I want to hang out with. But should I in good conscience join the group when it is not a cause that I'm interested in?
 

After I lost my father I volunteered at Ronald McDonald House cooking dinner once a week for the guests whose circumstances were very dire. The volunteer cooks all seemed to be there trying to "get their mind right" after some negative life event. Some of the ladies were very good friends w each other and did other things together. Working to help other people is beneficial to all involved and there is nothing wrong or deceitful with that. And who knows perhaps you'll come to like the charity itself.
 

LoveTulips said:
I know this sounds weird. But there is this group of older women who hold monthly meetings , set up a craft fair, a thrift fair, etc. all for a very good cause. But this cause is not close to my heart, in fact it's probably the furthest thing in my mind that I would volunteer for.

But here is the thing, I kind of like the vibe of these ladies and they are not (like at my senior centre) boring and looking like they are on their last legs and acting like it. My mom was 83 when she passed and she was so with it and mentally and physically active, that this is kind of the type of older, elderly women, I want to hang out with. But should I in good conscience join the group when it is not a cause that I'm interested in?
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LoveTulips: Stay with this group of ladies, it's the company you need, you don't have to be close to the charity they support.
 
I wouldn't join a club of old men or ladies.

It's all the same. In 2000 my wife and I were two weeks on vacation on the isle of Malta in an all inclusive hotel.

One aIfternoon a group of senior ladies with an odor between camphor balls and perfume asked us, if we'd like joining them for "bingo".

We denied. The old ladie's husbands were sitting at the bar sipping cocktails at that time.
 
It would depend on how far that charity is from my interests and values. If it is for a cause that I actively dislike, or think is harmful, of course I wouldn't join it. But if it doesn't really matter a lot to me one way or another, and I liked the people and their vibe, sure. Probably many people join charity organizations and even religious groups for similar reasons.
 
George1959 said:
I wouldn't join a club of old men or ladies.

It's all the same. In 2000 my wife and I were two weeks on vacation on the isle of Malta in an all inclusive hotel.

One aIfternoon a group of senior ladies with an odor between camphor balls and perfume asked us, if we'd like joining them for "bingo".

We denied. The old ladie's husbands were sitting at the bar sipping cocktails at that time.
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So, did you both go and join the husbands at the bar?
 
Ask yourself three questions:
1. Are you opposed to the cause the money will be used for? Not just that it isn't something you'd work for, but are you actually against it?
2. Will your participation harm anyone else in any way"
3. Will your participation give you some happiness?

If the answer to number one or two is "yes," don't join.

If the answer to one and two is “no” and three is "yes," give it a go!
 
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I've almost been there, Love Tulips. I'll be more specific.

A bunch of nice women at my church are very involved in a, "Life Expectancy Center," in our town. They wanted me to join them, my best friend in the group is a nurse who does sonograms for them.

The purpose of the center is to talk young women out of having abortions. Some things they do, like promising them free disposable diapers forever, seem almost like bribes to me. Another one of my friends who strongly suggested birth control to a single woman who was there for the fifth time, got asked to leave and never come back.. She is the pastor's wife. Heh.

Now I don't take abortion casually and wouldn't have had one myself except in a rare case involving my life or the child's quality of life. But I don't think the decision should be made by the government so I vote pro-choice. These women would hate me if they knew that. So I didn't join them.

If your heart is not in the charity or you think the money raised would be better spent some other way, I would look for another group to join.
 
Sunny said:
It would depend on how far that charity is from my interests and values. If it is for a cause that I actively dislike, or think is harmful, of course I wouldn't join it. But if it doesn't really matter a lot to me one way or another, and I liked the people and their vibe, sure. Probably many people join charity organizations and even religious groups for similar reason
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For sure.
 
So I'm the original poster. I decided not to join because the group is really gung ho about the cause. And I honestly am not - but totally, totally understand those who support it. Below is what the charity does:

" We fundraise in support of African grandmothers who are caring for a generation of children who have been orphaned by AIDS. These children are the hope of the continent. We direct our fundraising to the Stephen Lewis Foundation because they put money directly into the hands of grassroots organizations that are working to turn the tide of AIDS in Africa. "
 
@Muskrat , @againstthegrain , @Aunt Bea , @oscash , @Marv Malone, @Sunny , @BJintheUK , @astralcat , @Oldeagle66 , @VaughanJB , @DHH , @Della - I decided not to join because the group is really gung ho about the cause. And I honestly am not - but totally, totally understand those who support it. Below is what the charity does:

" We fundraise in support of African grandmothers who are caring for a generation of children who have been orphaned by AIDS. These children are the hope of the continent. We direct our fundraising to the Stephen Lewis Foundation because they put money directly into the hands of grassroots organizations that are working to turn the tide of AIDS in Africa. "
 
LoveTulips said:
So I'm the original poster. I decided not to join because the group is really gung ho about the cause. And I honestly am not - but totally, totally understand those who support it. Below is what the charity does:

" We fundraise in support of African grandmothers who are caring for a generation of children who have been orphaned by AIDS. These children are the hope of the continent. We direct our fundraising to the Stephen Lewis Foundation because they put money directly into the hands of grassroots organizations that are working to turn the tide of AIDS in Africa. "
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WOW! Could they find a more obscure charity?! That is really bizarre and I'd definitely question if it is legit. Good call on your part. You'll find a group you like.
 
Oldeagle66 said:
That's very nice and a worthy calling.
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Sorry if I misjudged, however, there are charities that have worthy goals, but the people running the charity get in the way. It just seems too obscure. Like everything else these days, we have to be diligent about researching the places we give our time, energy, and money to. In my opinion, local is the best way to go. In this instance, I would be curious as to why they chose this charity and what research they have done.
 
DHH said:
Sorry if I misjudged, however, there are charities that have worthy goals, but the people running the charity get in the way. It just seems too obscure. Like everything else these days, we have to be diligent about researching the places we give our time, energy, and money to. In my opinion, local is the best way to go. In this instance, I would be curious as to why they chose this charity and what research they have done.
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Whatever they decide to do with their own time, energy and money is the best way to go. Plus, I'm sure an organization like that took a lot of research, just to even find and consider it.
 
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I just researched it a little bit and it looks legit to me. The Stephen Lewis Foundation seems to be more well known in Canada than in the U.S.

I can see why a group of older women would like it because it has the "grandmothers helping grandmothers," aspect.

That's not saying "Love Tulips" should be involved if it doesn't move her. The charity I follow isn't well known by others either, but it's a cause I really care about and that's what matters to me.
 
Oldeagle66 said:
Whatever they decide to do with their own time, energy and money is the best way to go. Plus, I'm sure an organization like that took a lot of research, just to even find and consider it.
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Well, not really a topic I’m going to waste time arguing about. Have a good day.
 
LoveTulips said:
I know this sounds weird. But there is this group of older women who hold monthly meetings , set up a craft fair, a thrift fair, etc. all for a very good cause. But this cause is not close to my heart, in fact it's probably the furthest thing in my mind that I would volunteer for.

But here is the thing, I kind of like the vibe of these ladies and they are not (like at my senior centre) boring and looking like they are on their last legs and acting like it. My mom was 83 when she passed and she was so with it and mentally and physically active, that this is kind of the type of older, elderly women, I want to hang out with. But should I in good conscience join the group when it is not a cause that I'm interested in?
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I note that you are looking to get something from membership of this group, but ask yourself whether you have something that you will bring to it.

If you have trouble answering that question then it is probably not the right group for you. Still, it is worth a try. Show up and see how it turns out.
 

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