10-second groping rule

I remember once going up the stairs at a social do. Behind me was a minor celebrity who had been drinking and was very merry. He suddenly gave me a great big slap on the bottom and laughed. I was so shocked and it made me feel strange, like I was nothing, as if I was whatever he wanted. Does that make sense? I felt loss of dignity.
 
jujube said:
I've only been "accosted" once in my life. Oh, I've been whistled at and some naughty things yelled at me, but I'm talking full-contact accosting.

I was about 15 and had to go to the main library for some research for a report. I was down in the basement in the "stacks" trying to find a book I wanted when a man, perhaps in his 30's, came down the aisle toward me. As there wasn't a lot of room between the shelves, I got close to the shelf to let him by, turning my back to him. Instead, he pressed me against the shelf with his body and rubbed against me for a few seconds.

I was so shocked that I simply couldn't let out a squeak. After a couple of seconds, he released me, chuckled a nasty sort of laugh and sauntered slowly down the aisle. I was absolutely paralyzed. I could not move. He didn't even look back at me. It was like he knew that I wasn't going to scream.

It seemed like forever before I could get my legs to move and flee the basement. He was nowhere around when I went up to the main floor and I was too embarrassed to tell anybody what had happened. I never even told my parents or any of my friends. I never went to the basement of the library again. If I couldn't get the book I needed on the main floor, I didn't get it.

Why I was "embarrassed" I don't know. I think that sort of predator recognizes his victims and knows they're not going to make a fuss.

Nowadays, if someone tried that with me, he'd be wearing his *******s as a necktie. But as a very innocent 15-year-old, I had no way to cope with something like that. I don't feel that it deeply scarred me for life or anything like that, but it sure was upsetting at the time.
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:) To accost is not illegal. It is merely to approach, or to speak to one without invitation (usually boldly). You were assaulted.
 
jujube said:
I've only been "accosted" once in my life. Oh, I've been whistled at and some naughty things yelled at me, but I'm talking full-contact accosting.

I was about 15 and had to go to the main library for some research for a report. I was down in the basement in the "stacks" trying to find a book I wanted when a man, perhaps in his 30's, came down the aisle toward me. As there wasn't a lot of room between the shelves, I got close to the shelf to let him by, turning my back to him. Instead, he pressed me against the shelf with his body and rubbed against me for a few seconds.

I was so shocked that I simply couldn't let out a squeak. After a couple of seconds, he released me, chuckled a nasty sort of laugh and sauntered slowly down the aisle. I was absolutely paralyzed. I could not move. He didn't even look back at me. It was like he knew that I wasn't going to scream.

It seemed like forever before I could get my legs to move and flee the basement. He was nowhere around when I went up to the main floor and I was too embarrassed to tell anybody what had happened. I never even told my parents or any of my friends. I never went to the basement of the library again. If I couldn't get the book I needed on the main floor, I didn't get it.

Why I was "embarrassed" I don't know. I think that sort of predator recognizes his victims and knows they're not going to make a fuss.

Nowadays, if someone tried that with me, he'd be wearing his *******s as a necktie. But as a very innocent 15-year-old, I had no way to cope with something like that. I don't feel that it deeply scarred me for life or anything like that, but it sure was upsetting at the time.
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It scarred you enough to remember it the rest of your life. :( You're right about predators knowing which victim to choose. They've had their whole life to study potential victims and have it down to a science. These low-lifes are heartless sociopaths.
 
I was in Italy. Of course. I was waiting for a light to change to cross a street. Something grabbed my butt & squeezed. I quickly turned around and saw no one. Then, I looked down behind me and saw an old Italian man, not even 5 feet tall grinning at me. I thought it was so funny, I laughed, laughed and laughed! :ROFLMAO:
 
In PA, the person would be placed under arrest and charged with either Indecent Assault or Aggravated Indecent Assault On A Child. There are other charges that could go along with the original charge, but no matter what, the DA will decide the charges, so they could be changed or added. Any charge at all will get this person a court date because it’s a felony and the Judge will decide if the case will go to trial.

These types of cases are not treated lightly in my neck of the woods. Any crime against a child is taken very seriously as they should be. Since the crime was committed in a school; around here I am sure cameras would have been in use, so the perp has no where to go, which I would also think this case would make it to trial and the perp would make it to jail. A deal may be made, but I think he would see some County time. If it’s his first offense, it’s possible the jerk could receive a suspended sentence, but not the fine and costs.
 
1970, Rome. As a young woman visiting Rome a couple of times before, I knew how aggressive some of the Italian men could be with their "attentions".

This time, however, I was very pregnant. I was walking along with my sister, carrying a very large tote bag over my shoulder that obscured my abdomen. A man was getting very close to us, whispering sweet (or not-so-sweet...I didn't speak a lot of Italian) nothings. I spun around and started bumping him with my belly, backing him up. He turned a whiter shade of pale, apologized profusely and slunk away with his you-know-whats probably shriveled to the size of pistachios. Ai, Madonna, what a mistake I've made.......

I'll bet it was at least....uh.....48 hours before he started harassing women again.
 
Old Salt said:
How do the women in this forum feel about wolf whistles? In my youth, when we saw a pretty lady, we whistled and she would (most of the time) turn her head and smile at us. It was considered to be a compliment! My daughter is appalled when I tell her that it was a bit of harmless flirting! She finds wolf whistling offensive and believes that the ladies always resented it but didn't dare show their distaste! How do you feel about the subject?
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We lived in a day when cars were fitted with wolf whistle air horns and women were not much bothered. Then the women did the same to the guys, which was no big deal, and did we complain?
 
Alligatorob said:
The case involves a 17-year-old student at a Rome high school.

She described walking up a staircase to class with a friend, when she felt her trousers fall down, a hand touching her buttocks and grabbing her underwear.

"Love, you know I was joking," the man told her when she turned around.

After the incident, which happened in April 2022, the student reported the caretaker, 66-year-old Antonio Avola, to police.

He admitted to groping the student without consent, but said it was a joke.

A Rome public prosecutor asked for a three-and-a-half year prison sentence but this week the caretaker was acquitted of sexual assault charges. According to the judges, what happened "does not constitute a crime" because it lasted less than 10 seconds.
Italian uproar over judge's 10-second groping rule
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When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
 
We don't have any Romans here, but the last time a man tried to put his hands on me unwanted by me, he got my elbow in his solar plexus, hard enough to watch him jump a few inches into the air. I guess he didn't think I could defend myself when he was at my back. He never tried it again.
 
I've never been molested as an adult but as a teen some boys thought it amusing to sneak up behind a girl and pin her arms so that she could not escape. I hated to be tickled as a child and my reaction to being pinned in this way was to bring my heel down hard on the offender's instep. That ensured that I was not used as a plaything in future.
 
Italian men have historically shown to have no boundaries when it comes to touching women.

I remember reading an article about certain beaches in Italy had to be designated for women only because men couldn't be trusted to keep their hands to themselves.

I grew up with Italian relatives. They thought of it as a joke when a man pinches a woman's butt.

It seems likely to me that an Italian judge would find no problem with a man acting this way and ruling in his favor.
 
The only way to stop male unwanted groping is to teach girls at a very young age a few martial arts moves. My favorite is the quick wrist grab with one hand, then spin, and then quick snap with the palm of the other hand that forces the assaliants hand backwards, that will result in a broken wrist if excuted quickly and accurately.
 
When my wife and I were much younger many years ago, I used to pick her up after work on my way home. One day when she got in the car, I could tell she was upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she wanted to talk about it when we got home. At home she proceeded to tell me of what had happened to her in the lunchroom where she worked. The lunchroom was full of fellow employees and one of the 'sales' guys approached my wife announcing he want to tell her a joke.

I do not recall the specific set up for the joke other than he was pretending to paint various flowers on my wife and asking her if she would like that flower. He was not touching her, just standing in front of her pretending to draw, as he told his joke. A rose in her hair, ok...carnations on her wrists...ok, and two dandelions on her shirt pockets.... No, my wife protested.

So, this turkey said something like, well OK "I will erase those right away" as he put both hands on my wife's breasts and rubbed! She pushed him away and ran out of the room crying...

My wife knew me well enough to wait until we got home to tell me. I saw red and wanted to go find that creep and kick you know what out of him. I do not get mad often, but this was as mad as I have ever been. It took my wife most of the evening to get me settled down enough to be able to talk with her about how she was. After, our talk we agree that she would go into the HR department tomorrow and file a formal complaint, which she did! Following that she quit! I really wanted to confront the guy, but my wife talked me out of it. We later spoke to a lawyer about it, but in those days, crap like that was somewhat tolerated.
 
MsFox said:
The only way to stop male unwanted groping is to teach girls at a very young age a few martial arts moves. My favorite is the quick wrist grab with one hand, then spin, and then quick snap with the palm of the other hand that forces the assaliants hand backwards, that will result in a broken wrist if excuted quickly and accurately.
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:) That would work sometimes, but he might just rear back and punch you with a death-dealing blow. Whenever I was groped, usually goosed, I would jump and squeal (involuntary), and vamoose. Safer that way.
 
Timewise 60+ said:
When my wife and I were much younger many years ago, I used to pick her up after work on my way home. One day when she got in the car, I could tell she was upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she wanted to talk about it when we got home. At home she proceeded to tell me of what had happened to her in the lunchroom where she worked. The lunchroom was full of fellow employees and one of the 'sales' guys approached my wife announcing he want to tell her a joke.

I do not recall the specific set up for the joke other than he was pretending to paint various flowers on my wife and asking her if she would like that flower. He was not touching her, just standing in front of her pretending to draw, as he told his joke. A rose in her hair, ok...carnations on her wrists...ok, and two dandelions on her shirt pockets.... No, my wife protested.

So, this turkey said something like, well OK "I will erase those right away" as he put both hands on my wife's breasts and rubbed! She pushed him away and ran out of the room crying...

My wife knew me well enough to wait until we got home to tell me. I saw red and wanted to go find that creep and kick you know what out of him. I do not get mad often, but this was as mad as I have ever been. It took my wife most of the evening to get me settled down enough to be able to talk with her about how she was. After, our talk we agree that she would go into the HR department tomorrow and file a formal complaint, which she did! Following that she quit! I really wanted to confront the guy, but my wife talked me out of it. We later spoke to a lawyer about it, but in those days, crap like that was somewhat tolerated.
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I gave you a sad because it is sad that the guy wasn't brought to justice. I hope he tried that on a woman that took the palm of her hand and smashed his nose, then kneed his crotch quick and precise.

What really makes me sad about a story like this is that the other guys watching tolerated such abuse against a female coworker.
 
MsFox said:
I gave you a sad because it is sad that the guy wasn't brought to justice. I hope he tried that on a woman that took the palm of her hand and smashed his nose, then kneed his crotch quick and precise.

What really makes me sad about a story like this is that the other guys watching tolerated such abuse against a female coworker
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Thanks for the comments, Ms. Fox! After I wrote that post this morning, I was actually again enraged about that incident over 30 years ago.

At the time it took my wife getting really mad at me, which is not something she does, to stop me from confronting that creep! I would have hurt him and probably ended up in jail, so she saved me and after I calmed down a bit, I realized I was putting her through more pain by reacting the way I did. So, I stopped and did nothing, as hard as it was.

She was able to find another job and we move on...we have had a wonderful life. Nuff said...
 
Alligatorob said:
The case involves a 17-year-old student at a Rome high school.

She described walking up a staircase to class with a friend, when she felt her trousers fall down, a hand touching her buttocks and grabbing her underwear.

"Love, you know I was joking," the man told her when she turned around.

After the incident, which happened in April 2022, the student reported the caretaker, 66-year-old Antonio Avola, to police.

He admitted to groping the student without consent, but said it was a joke.

A Rome public prosecutor asked for a three-and-a-half year prison sentence but this week the caretaker was acquitted of sexual assault charges. According to the judges, what happened "does not constitute a crime" because it lasted less than 10 seconds.
Italian uproar over judge's 10-second groping rule
Click to expand...
Is that a general ten second rule in law? I bet Rome sells a lot of watches... Lol.
 
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