76 and raising a 15 year female teenager

Davey Jones

Davey Jones

Well-known Member
Location
Florida
I know for sure Im going to live to be 100+ as this not an easy job being her guardian.
Her 36 year old(my daughter) died suddenly and unexpectedly in my home 3 years ago when the kid was 12.
Hard to believe I know but so far its been easy going and kind of fun,sure we've had some spats between us but most only last a few hours then we don't know what hell we were arguing about in the first place.(g)
I can tell one thing,being a high school sophomore is not the same types high schools we all went to.
 

So sorry to hear that your daughter passed on, my condolences. :rose: It's nice that you're raising her daughter. I imagine things are a lot different in this day and age raising teens. I hope she's basically a good girl, I know fifteen was around the age when I started to 'act up' and give my mother some worries.
 
That's very sad to hear, it must affect her too, some need their Moms most at that age.
I didn't have time to 'act up', I was out of school, in a full time job, and paying taxes at 15, I was already fully 'grown up'.

I sure don't envy you the job you have before you, I can only wish you well with the good thing you are doing.
 

Very sorry to hear about your daughter, DavyJones. I give you a lot of credit for raising your grand-daughter; it cannot be easy these days, it's like a whole different world now. I have a grand-daughter the same age, and enjoy her so much. Don't know how I would be at raising her, tho....I know it would take a lot of understanding on both parts.
 
Davey Jones, you are the gift that your grand daughter needs at this time.
Take heart because a lot of the work has already been done by your daughter who instilled her values (and yours too for the most part) in the first ten formative years.

For the next several years she will test these values to the limit before settling in to responsible adulthood. You just need to be close at hand to put her back on her feet when she falls down from time to time. Love her, support her and be the person she will look up to for the rest of her life. You can do no more and you need do no more.

God bless.
 
Mom and Dad had four kids--the oldest is 40 months older than I am. (I was the original youngest for over a decade.) And then 11 years later, they had their Oops--my delightful younger brother. Mom died when I was 16. I am directly responsible for my Dad's second marriage. He was dating someone 16 years his junior, but he realized he really didn't have a problem with me marrying someone 9 years older (his second wife and my husband are one month apart in age), so he asked her to marry him.

My oldest brother married two weeks before I did (only because he was engaged to be married before I even met my future husband, so I thought brother should go first.) My dad married five months later. The three of us raced to see who would have the first child. (Dad didn't want to be a grandfather, before he was done having kids.) Dad both won and lost. My sister was born first. Then my brother had his first--a son. We ended up never having kids (but it was fun trying. lol) Then my Dad's second Oops--my youngest brother.

We were a little concerned Dad might not see his youngest graduate. Silly concern! Dad had at least one child in his house nonstop for 51 years. Youngest brother graduate college four years ago. Dad's still living on his own.

Oldest brother learned unexpected lessons from Dad. He had a son and daughter, when his first marriage ended. He has since been remarried and had two more sons. He's now going on 60 with two kids. (Not teens. Kids. lol)

God bless people who have the energy to have kids and grandkids in their homes. I used to get exhausted watching parents chase after toddlers. Teens? Yikes! You can chase, but you can't catch them. I truly believe God gives added strength to those who do it when they're older. He has to. There isn't any other explanation for that miracle.

God bless you for raising your granddaughter. May she learn good and unexpected things from you, while you learn from her.
 
What a wonderful grandfather you are, and the two of you are so lucky to have each other. I'm so sorry for your loss, but this young lady really lucked out in having a g'father like you...and she will definitely keep you young and on your toes. The best of teenagers are challenging as can be, but sounds as if it's a very loving relationship. ((Hugs and best wishes to both of you!))
 
Kudos to you, Davey - you're doing the right thing and seemingly doing it quite well.

Reminds me of my own situation a few years ago - I had a 28-year-old trying to raise a 53-year-old ... :devilish:
 
Warrigal said:
Davey Jones, you are the gift that your grand daughter needs at this time.
Take heart because a lot of the work has already been done by your daughter who instilled her values (and yours too for the most part) in the first ten formative years.

For the next several years she will test these values to the limit before settling in to responsible adulthood. You just need to be close at hand to put her back on her feet when she falls down from time to time. Love her, support her and be the person she will look up to for the rest of her life. You can do no more and you need do no more.

God bless.
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You're absolutely right and I appreciate all the replies to this topic,Im sure there are others out there in the same position I have,hopefully we can connect and discuss this new experience.
Im having some minor problems with her that one expects from a 15 year old.
Her high school school grades are a #1 priority with me and hopefully she can overcome her hatred for algebra and geometry,heck what gal doesn't like this subjects.(g)
Ive raised 2 girls and a son who are in their forties now and I figured what the heck I now have the experience and this one should be a piece of cake.
BOY!!!! Was I wrong
"Papa,can get my drivers license now"?
Papa, do you like my new boyfriend"?
Papa,do you have $30, I need to get some perfume"
and so it goes.......
 
You are such a blessing to this child and I'm sure your g'daughter feels the same. It's a rare grandpa that would have taken on such a huge responsibility on their own. Having had 2 of my own, we know teenagers will challenge your last nerve. You love them so much, but they will drive you over the top at times. We were probably equally as challenging, but dealing with it in being two generations older is far more complicated and stressful.

I'm sure if you GOOGLE (or whatever you use) support groups for those in your same situation, you will find multitudes of support and understanding. I have tremendous respect for you, Davey, you're a very special man in making the most of a situation the majority of seniors aren't faced with.
 
Im in pretty good health for a 76 year old and when I have those "bad" day,
"come on ,Papa, we're heading to the beach".
Works everytime.
 
Oh, so she's not only so lucky to have you, but to live near a beach as well. That's great!! I know you two have made many memories there together.
 
I have raised my grandchildren for 5 years. They recently when back with their mother, but I suspect I will get them back. My grandson is also 15. There are many support groups out there for grandparents raising grandchildren both on line and in person. I remember wondering when I started if I wold be able to do this alone. They have helped keep me young and active. It is challenging at times, but I think the challenges we face give us the greatest opportunity for growth. I thought I had a lot to teach them, but believe me they have taught me so much more. Good luck.
 
Judi.D said:
I have raised my grandchildren for 5 years. They recently when back with their mother, but I suspect I will get them back. My grandson is also 15. There are many support groups out there for grandparents raising grandchildren both on line and in person. I remember wondering when I started if I wold be able to do this alone. They have helped keep me young and active. It is challenging at times, but I think the challenges we face give us the greatest opportunity for growth. I thought I had a lot to teach them, but believe me they have taught me so much more. Good luck.
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Hearty kudos to you, Judi. You and your g'children are so blessed to have each other. I admire you greatly for taking on the tremendous responsibility.:love_heart:
 
I tried that "grandparents raising grandchildren"group and after a dozen meetings they didnt tell me anything I already know.
Ill be trying another group in Orlando soon.
 
The Total Transformation is an excellent program based on common sense. My grandson was labeled ADHD and borderline ODD. They will provide the program for free if you complete some paper work within a months time. It is well worth it. Even if the child doesn't have any serious problems it helps you set effect boundaries and consequences.
 
No serious problems whatsoever....try as she may, like any 15 year old,ya cant get pass your grandfather like you can with parents.
This AM..taking her to high school, I noticed she has a cell phone charger with her "why so you need that for school?"
replied "in case of emergency if I have to call you".
"how long does that phone last on a single charge?"
"I donno know"
Must be one of those 15 min battery in there on her Android phone....(g)
 
BUT you're not on the cell phone every minute from 7am to 10pm every day and don't get me started on these teen gals taken pictures of themselves with cell phones ,3 teen gals in the back seat of my car with flashes going off every 10 seconds and at night time with those flashes going off Im surprised I haven't been stopped by the cops yet..;)
 
:lofl:
Think of all the fun you're having, Davey.
You could be spending all your time with old farts down at the men's shed, having exactly the same conversation every week.
At least she's keeping you alert and alive.
 

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