" A Mother's Reckoning" by Sue Klebold

[fureverywhere]

If I reviewed every book I read or glance at in a week there would pages and pages of titles. But this one jumps out there. An ordinary Mom raising her ordinary family. A teenage son with a mild brush with the law but you know how kids are. You do the best you can. If they need a bit of extra help you get it for them. But you love them and hold them and hope they'll fly right.

Until one day you get the call that there is an active shooter at your child's school. You go into panic mode, is your child safe? Maybe he got home before this started? You'll try calling him right now...Then the unspeakable...
your child is one of the shooters.

When such tragedies happen the media often includes the family as being as guilty as the accused. But there were no stuffed hamster heads on the wall, no out of control histrionics, that would suggest a severely troubled young man. Just an ordinary family. A devastating story that is hard to put down.

 

[debbie in seattle]

If I reviewed every book I read or glance at in a week there would pages and pages of titles. But this one jumps out there. An ordinary Mom raising her ordinary family. A teenage son with a mild brush with the law but you know how kids are. You do the best you can. If they need a bit of extra help you get it for them. But you love them and hold them and hope they'll fly right.

Until one day you get the call that there is an active shooter at your child's school. You go into panic mode, is your child safe? Maybe he got home before this started? You'll try calling him right now...Then the unspeakable...
your child is one of the shooters.

When such tragedies happen the media often includes the family as being as guilty as the accused. But there were no stuffed hamster heads on the wall, no out of control histrionics, that would suggest a severely troubled young man. Just an ordinary family. A devastating story that is hard to put down.

I saw an interview with her a few weeks ago, interesting, sad.

 

[WhatInThe]

Events like these are a perfect storm of up bringing, external influences/peers and sequences or combinations of events. Pull just one factor out maybe something might have changed.

I haven't seen the full interview yet so I don't know if this about money, redemption, sympathy, a lesson etc. Forgiveness will have to come from the victims, not the public.

From what I've heard and read these shooters were prescribed or taking anti depressants. The other shooter, Harris was actually prescribed them but Klebold was allegedly seen taking them on his own.

http://psychiatricfraud.org/2011/04/the-real-lesson-of-columbine-psychiatric-drugs-induce-violence/

After a certain point in today's world kids are on their own and that includes high school where parental influence diminishes simply because there are too many other influences tempting or tugging on the child/teenager.

Peace

 

[BlunderWoman]

I really can't even imagine how horrible that would be. I've seen good people raise troubled kids and bad people raise good kids & then there is always the kid that is so affected and led by someone they admire or consider a friend. You never know. I went to school with a girl whose mother was drunk on the couch every day her big brothers were in and out of jail for dealing drugs. She was a straight A student. Once I asked her why she was so driven at school when she wasn't going to get in trouble if she made a B. She said " Because someday I'm getting the hell out of here and never coming back."

 

[fureverywhere]

It would be cruel to tell new parents, but really you only have full control until your child is around fourteen years old. You can pray you've given them a strong foundation. But after that age the outside becomes the biggest influence. But it reminded me of a book by Nancy Spungen's mom. In that case she knew her daughter was troubled from childhood on. But the Mom tried to help repeatedly right up to the end of her daughter's life. Dylan and Nancy could have been anyone's children. Think about how chilling that is.

 

[BlunderWoman]

I had a scare with my oldest daughter when she was 14 and she was talking to some pervert online and thought she was in love. I called him up and told him I'd have him thrown so deep in jail they'd be sending him sunlight in a mason jar. Raising kids can get scary.

 

[Debby]

Our kids grew up for those touchy years while we were church members and we made a point of having them in church school for the very reasons mentioned here. Figured that we could control their environment better and because their schools were an hours drive each way, there'd be less chance of getting involved with the wrong kids at school and then hanging around with those neighbourhood kids if they weren't in public school nearby.

For the most part it worked although my youngest had one summer where she and her girlfriend messed up a bit. Now we look back on some of that and laugh (actually, we laughed throughout it but more in sympathy because she was so upset). Don and I had gone to a movie on the motorcycle, and the girls were left at home (the oldest was 17, youngest 14). When we got home a little after dark, we were met in the driveway by our youngest and she was crying and crying.....I thought for sure her friend Chelsea had had an accident and was either dead or in hospital because she wasn't in the driveway too. Well turns out, they had decided to drive around the little horse pasture in my car and when they were going to put the car back, Chelsea had accidentally put the car in reverse instead of drive ..... and she took a section of wood rail fence out which didn't do the trunk of my car any good at all.

Well we got that all worked out with Chelsea's parents, life went on and then there was the fateful incident a couple months later when they both sneaked out and went to a party and then the next day spent time at the police station looking at photos to identify some guy who was supposed to have possibly raped a friend of theirs who also sneaked out that night.....long story short, our daughter was attending a different Christian school a week later. None of this baloney that so many parents try, i.e. wag their finger at the kid and insist they 'stay away from that crowd' while leaving them in the same school. She changed schools immediately and knew it was her own fault and that was the end of her misadventures.

 

[fureverywhere]

Sharon and Debby you were both blessed your kids eventually figured it out. Two of my kids went out there so far I thought jail or the morgue was their ultimate destination. My oldest son I'm proud of though. He was a roadie for a band in high school. Honor student, fencing team, soccer, band and chorus. But going to clubs with the band on weekends exposed him to some bad stuff. Happy to say that after he graduated he pulled himself up. Now at thirty he has a family and responsible job.

 

[fureverywhere]

As I continue reading this book I'm struck by how similar her descriptions of Dylan sound just like my sons...until he wasn't like them anymore. I can identify with so much she has to say. It's not that she defends what he did, it's just the stunned disbelief as a parent, that this monster the media is depicting isn't the child you knew. You have to read this book a few chapters at a time and digest them. I just came in and gave my younger boy a kiss in the hair...emotional reading there.

Even with a full beard and legally an adult he's still my little Danny...sigh...makes me appreciate my boys so much more.

 

[Shalimar]

There are not always warnings. Currently, it is au courant to blame antidepressants. All drugs have the potentiality to cause harm. There is no scientific evidence that antidepressants can

instigate homicidal behaviour, unlike a clear connection between alcohol/and/or various illegal drugs--crack etc. and various violent acts, including murder. We really do not know enough about the human brain to understand the "wild cards," the peeps

who seemed normal, until everything exploded. I have seen such things among animals. Why should people be any different? Therapist or not, I believe that sometimes the wiring in our brain has flaws and snaps, without any clear signals beforehand.

Fortunately, in most cases, there are clues, if people pay attention.

 

[fureverywhere]

Then there is the problem...hubby's brother is off of his nut and it's been that way for decades. If he went to seek justice with a legally owned fire arm...not even my beautiful Callie could stop it. We'd just be another statistic.

 

[WhatInThe]

There are not always warnings. Currently, it is au courant to blame antidepressants. All drugs have the potentiality to cause harm. There is no scientific evidence that antidepressants can

instigate homicidal behaviour, unlike a clear connection between alcohol/and/or various illegal drugs--crack etc. and various violent acts, including murder. We really do not know enough about the human brain to understand the "wild cards," the peeps

who seemed normal, until everything exploded. I have seen such things among animals. Why should people be any different? Therapist or not, I believe that sometimes the wiring in our brain has flaws and snaps, without any clear signals beforehand.

Fortunately, in most cases, there are clues, if people pay attention.

There might not be direct studies on the brain and prescription drugs/psychotropics but the numbers/statistics of list of multiple or mass shooters that were on or on prescription drugs prior to their acts is over 50% on most high profile incidents over the last 10-20 years especially. Also aggression is listed as a possible side effect in some of these drugs. I don't think we will see comprehensive studies either because the pharmacy companies won't allow it probably buying off the researchers and/or results.

http://www.cchrint.org/pdfs/shooting-incidents-1999-to-2013.pdf

http://www.globalresearch.ca/dramat...ole-of-prescription-psychiatric-drugs/5358896

That being said if a person already had issues the drugs would simply be another indicator of that since people are treated chemically. But what are the long term of their effects and what happens to the patient off those drugs. Altered or corrupted thinking from prescriptions could be a factor as could the emotional swings off those drugs. Not so much as omg they're off their meds but now a non medicated sober person has a corrupted brain and/or is dealing with issues & thoughts normally controlled or produced in a chemically enhanced state. I don't they're creating new issues but they probably either have no effect on or exacerbate existing issues, problems, conditions etc.

The other shooter, Eric Harris had Luvox in his system, used to treat obsessive compulsive disorder. True he had a pre-existing condition but there were therapeutic amounts in his system at the time of the shooting. Sounds like he still obsessed with his final day on earth.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/struggling-with-columbines-questions/

Also note the drug over doses involving anti anxiety drugs has gone up 400% since 1996. That could just be an indicator many more people are on them.

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/anxiety-drug-overdoses-have-quadrupled-over-last-two-decades-study-n521086




There are a lot of variables here but being the most medicated country on the planet and yet so much medication associated with death and not fatal diseases makes one wonder.