Another Brother from Another Mother

dusty

dusty

Senior Member
I think I've mentioned here that I do genealogy. Thank the Universe for the computer or I never would have found my 'extra' brothers and one sister.
It seems that my father, who traveled for business, was in the bedroom more than the board room.
Due to DNA either I have found them or they have found me and right now the score for me is 4 new brothers and one new sister. I have gotten to know 2 of them, but unfortunately they have passed. I got to know them pretty well and we all liked each other.
The really wierd thing is that (my mom had 5 kids with my father in a typical 50's home) each of the sibs I have met are almost exact twins to one of my familial brothers. My sister could have been my twin. Plus each one of the 'new kids on the block' was born in the same month and year that the sib of the home was. My sister and I are 2 weeks apart, same month and year.

Not knowing there were others out there, I was a daddy's girl. I don't know if he knew about any of these kids or not, but I doubt it. Right now I am totally pi***d at him for being so incredibly selfish and self centered. The man I thought was one person is completely the opposite. He passed in 1974.

If I find anymore loose sibs, I'll keep all apprised.
 

hollydolly said:
Are the siblings from the affairs all from the same mother ?:unsure:
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Everyone is from a different mother. None were from affairs but were from one nighters while he was on a business trip. Most of them were born up and down the east coast with one being born in California.

When I met the first one, a brother, he grabbed me and said "A brother from another mother".
 
Yeah, I know. I learned when talking with them that their childhoods were filled with dispair, hunger and insecurity, but they all did well when grown. So, because my core family got the "dad" and they never even knew him, I feel guilty. My mother never knew because there would have been hell to pay!

If anyone can relate to this, I'd like to know how you feel. Do you feel guilty?
 
dusty said:
Yeah, I know. I learned when talking with them that their childhoods were filled with dispair, hunger and insecurity, but they all did well when grown. So, because my core family got the "dad" and they never even knew him, I feel guilty. My mother never knew because there would have been hell to pay!

If anyone can relate to this, I'd like to know how you feel. Do you feel guilty?
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you have nothing to feel guilty for. This was a one night stad.. as you said, your dad proably knew nothing of it.. so he's not to blame those children living withiut a father, if the mothers..a)..didn't take precaution when having sex with a stranger.. and 2, didn't inform your father they were pregnant or had a child by him...

The guy might have been an adulterer... but he can't be blamed for something he proabably knew nothing of.. and you certainly can't take the blame
 
dusty said:
The women most likely did not know his name or where he was from. I blame both of them for not using protection.
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yes I agree.. however I just feel a woman has way more to lose by having unprotected sex.. and not only her, but as you've discovered , their children all suffered beause she didn't make sure she was protected... a simple act whch could have prevented heartbreak for years
 
My sisters did the Ancestry thing and discovered we have a have a brother from my Dad born about 6 months after me and put up for adoption. Can't ask him, and my mother knew nothing of it. Must be a family thing.... His Grandad had a whole second family in another state.
 
My mother had a child (my older sister) out of wedlock. When I was about 17 my mother told us. My sister would hear nothing of the details…she felt that my father was the only father she would ever love or need. Years later…she over 70…my mother and father dead….she changed her mind. As it was I knew her father’s name and that he was in the army. Thru ancestry had managed to find a guy who fit the profile. My sister did a dna test…and found her roots. By waiting most players were dead…but she has connected to some and has learned some very cool things. Our parents lives are as alien to us as our own children’s. It is their history too.
 
Just a word of caution here... I did the ancestry DNA thing... It told me I had a grandson. News to me... I have no grandchildren and zero % chance that any would exist I didn't know about. The "grandson" was already middle aged, and older than my only child. The poor guy dug deeper and found his *real* relatives after such a huge disappointment.

Anyhow, I'd suggest that if anyone is given matches that could possibly be right, have a bona fide DNA test done to avoid disappointment and/or exploitation.
 
For me it is always a bit surprising and intriguing the skeletons in the closet of our past relatives. Our family trees are not the beautifully pruned pictures of prefect trees. So many of them are quite twisted and gnarly. :)
 
Then there is this surprise:

Earlier this year, I heard from dozens of people who took a DNA test only to discover their fathers were not their biological fathers. Many of them belonged to a private Facebook support group called DNA NPE Friends—where NPE stands for “not parent expected”—that sprang up to connect the thousands of people who’ve had their identities altered by a DNA test.
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About 7 years ago I found out I had a half sister who was a year older than my oldest sister. My dad was single during ww 2 and stationed in England for a while. The woman was married to a British soldier who was away fighting and she had 2 toddlers. No clue if my dad ever knew.
 

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