Another situation where I'm caught in the middle

debodun

debodun

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Location
way upstate in New York, USA
Our church is having an autumn fair today (Saturday) and included is a chili and soup sale. One of the congregation called me Thursday and asked if she could bring a crockpot of chili to me and have me keep it until Saturday. I asked her why she just couldn't bring it to the fair herself and she said she was going away for the weekend and would not be home. She also added that she had tried several other parishioners and they all refused to take the chili claiming they had no room in their refrigerators. I said I was having a garage sale and couldn't leave the house to deliver the food. She said that she would make the arrangements for someone to pick up the chili on Saturday morning and that as soon as I could on Saturday, to take the pot out of the fridge and turn on the pot and let the chili heat up.

At the time it seemed to me a minor favor to accept the chili. Well, the fair started over an hour ago and no one has shown up for the chili. I tried emailing and calling the pastor, but apparently he's not looking at his email and he's turned off his phone as it just rolls over to his answering service. I can't leave the house because of the sale. Now I feel caught in the middle and am at a loss why this woman would make food for the fair when she wasn't even going to be home or fail to let anyone know the chili is at my house. I don't know who else is involved with the food booth, so I don't know who to contact. Meanwhile the crockpot is heating. What should I do?
 

Deb,

I think that you need to stand in front of the mirror for an hour or so each day and practice the word No!

I wouldn't worry about it, it sounds like you have taken reasonable steps to get someone to come and pick it up.
 
Aunt Bea said:
Deb,

I think that you need to stand in front of the mirror for an hour or so each day and practice the word No!
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I'm beginning to think I am a person affected with backpfeifengesicht (Google that word!). If I was paranoid, I'd think people were always setting me up to be inconvenienced, embarrassed or a scapegoat (getting figuratively slapped). A real estate agent once told me that I'm a "people pleaser" and people will take advantage of me because I can't say "NO!"
 

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Unplug the crockpot, it's the other woman's responsibility now since nobody showed to pick it up. If someone shows up this late to pick it up, they can nuke it to warm it up. She's inconsiderate for not contacting you, you've done all you can and have your own life to live and sale going on. No would be a good answer as Bea mentioned in the future, especially for this woman.
 
Wren said:
Debodun, could you sell the chili at your garage sale and give the money to the church ?
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I don't know about the ramifications of selling food without a vendor's permit in this locale (I assume the church has one to allow them to purvey food). Also consider the possibility of someone claiming they got sick from that food (whether they did or not).
 
Call the church where it's being held. Someone will answer the phone, then tell them your problem. They can then find someone to pick up the chili...if not, just wait for the lady to pick it up whenever and it's her problem...not yours.
 
I'm late posting this, but I will add my 2-cents anyway. It sounds to me that you met your agreement. Because nobody showed to pick up the chili is not your responsibility. At this point, I would think problem solved for dinner tonight. Everybody likes chili.
 
I agree with RadishRose, whip up a little cornbread, grab some chili peppers and a drink and chow down. Hopefully the chili is good and you can tell her how wonderful it was and that everyone that tried it thought so too :cool:.
 
Freeze the leftover for a future meal. Your fee for washing the pot.

Tell her a famous food critic you know whose name you cannot disclose- stopped by, had a taste and she'll be hearing from him soon.

Real soon.
 
It was eventually straightened out. Apparently the lady that made the chili got sidetracked preparing for her trip, she forgot to notify anyone to pick up the crock at my house. With all the electronic reminders these days, it seemed a little lame. The pastor was not happy either, because when I did manage to reach him, he said that he "was the busiest person in the world at that moment", but he would see someone came to get the crock, but "it would "be a while". A man did finally showed up about an hour later, so my obligation was discharged, but what a mix-up.
 
debodun said:
It was eventually straightened out. Apparently the lady that made the chili got sidetracked preparing for her trip, she forgot to notify anyone to pick up the crock at my house. With all the electronic reminders these days, it seemed a little lame. The pastor was not happy either, because when I did manage to reach him, he said that he "was the busiest person in the world at that moment", but he would see someone came to get the crock, but "it would "be a while". A man did finally showed up about an hour later, so my obligation was discharged, but what a mix-up.
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Well, it's too bad that her carelessness upset both your day and your pastor's, I hope she was at least apologetic.
 
This probably isn't something you'd want to do but I dropped out of my church after 35 years and things have been a lot nicer for me. That was back in 1998 and yes, life is sweet. And I've learned to say no to a lot of people and situations. If you are too nice there will always be several people there to take advantage of you.

I hope your garage sale was a success.
 
For me, I learned to refuse to participate in goofy things like this. Something always goes awry and you end up in the middle of a dilemma, and/or being seriously inconvenienced. That lady who agreed to make the chili when she was going out of town should learn to say "no," too. People (meaning the chili lady) shouldn't make commitments and then expect others to carry them out. I am seriously an old poo about things like this.
 
What bothers me is that I get blamed, not the chili lady.

They had a chili contest at the church for the public to sample and vote on each entry. My chili lady came in third (but I have no idea how many dishes were entered).
 
I have nothing new to add to this discussion, but I absolutely agree with all those who said, "Just say NO!" We all have to grow a backbone and learn how not to get guilt-tripped into accepting assignments all the time. You were under no obligation to say yes to this woman, who sounds enormously disorganized and probably goes through life creating problems for other people.
 

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