Answer a Question with a Question...

Do you sometimes find it difficult to decide what is helpful to do for others,
that you will want to have done, regardless of the unpredictable reactions and future actions of others,
which might not be what we intended or wanted or expected or hoped?
 

Should I take that personally, @StarSong ?
:LOL::ROFLMAO::giggle:

(Do not worry; I didn't! ;) )

My present post:
Do you get confused about which type of help, or how much help, someone actually wants,
or what they mean by their question?
 

I'm not sure what you mean by properly, but when I get to know someone well I learn about their background and therefore what makes them tick. Don't you find that? (Of course, we Americans are known for spilling our guts at the least provocation...)
 
What I mean is....people usually want to make a good impression at first, so may put on an act. Then you find out they are not what you thought. Doesn't that happen to you?
 
Had you ever noticed in the past,
that the word "proper" or "properly"
seems to mean very different things, in England than it does in USA?
 
It means the same here.. but it has several meaning, one which is in the way that @Rosemarie used it... get to know someone very well, is to get to know someone 'properly''... also to act well, in a correct manner, is to act ''properly''

Do you use that word in those contexts?
 
I've never used the term "getting to know someone properly." Most Americans wouldn't know what I was talking about. I'd say, "I've gotten to know her well."

Acting properly is used here sometimes, as in act in a way that's correct or suitable for the situation.

Proper attire for a backyard BBQ differs from proper attire for a formal wedding.
 
Years ago, here in the USA, I'd only heard the word "proper" to strongly imply that something met unusually high and unnecessary standards that someone else had set, or imposed on others, according to their own beliefs;
often in another place and time, that were overly and exaggerated as in "act and dress, prim and proper"

The unusually high and narrow standard meant that a person could not add their personal expressive touches, and needed to conform to very strict rules of assumed politeness, to an overboard extreme extent,
that might even be contrived and not honest or usual,
rather than to be basically polite, while remaining true to yourself, whatever your true style or habit or comfort would have directed you, yourself.

Am I the only one ?
who had originally thought it was only defined that way, until I heard others from UK especially, using it for a more general and accepting way, and not nearly as "judgmental" of others, as how I'd heard it used ?
 

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