Anyone have any funny, embarrassing incidents they would like to share?

seadoug

seadoug

Well-known Member
Location
Texas
So, it was the 80's and I was in my late 20's. I was with a company that believed in "sales blitzes" where the sales team would be sent to a particular location and would call on as many accounts as we could. I was in Southern California. They gave us a list of accounts and a map. As was usual for the time, I was wearing off-white pants and a light-colored sport coat.

I left the hotel and stopped at McDonald's for a cup of coffee. There were no cupholders in those days so I balanced the coffee in my lap while trying to read the map. I took a corner too fast and the coffee spilled all over the seat and my pants. I stopped at another McDonald's to wash off my pants. In each sales call, I would close my sport coat so no one could see the stain on my pants.

Further into the trip, I was again reading the map and hit a curb. The wheel cover came off the car and I had to get out and pick it up. I went to my next sales call. The person I was calling on asked if I could bring in more brochures. I went back to the car and happened to look in the mirror. I had grease on my nose from picking up the wheel cover and wiping my face. She never laughed, smiled or indicated that anything was wrong.

I still laugh about it to this day. It was so embarrassing, but so funny at the same time. It is also one of my most vivid memories.
 

Scenario: mom and I moved to new state 2010, she was doing poorly, I was unemployed with plenty of time to help her, her car needed something (I don't remember what), I am clueless about cars.
I had gotten her car's user manual from her car. It said to call Volkswagen service for maintenance, so I googled and found one and called...
[Volkswagen Service office]: Yes we can schedule your car, what model is it?
[me (clueless and guessing)]: a subaru
[Volkswagen Service office]: You'll need to take it to a Subaru service place, there is one down the street from us.
[me]: the user's manual says to take it to a Volkswagen service place
[Volkswagen Service office]: Your Subaru's user manual says to take it to a Volkswagen service center???
[me]: yes
[Volkswagen Service office]: OK, bring it in.
....later after sitting in the waiting room there while it was worked on (other customers also waiting)...
[Volkswagen Service desk]: "<my name>, your 'SUBARU' is ready"

(I'm still not sure what model it was, maybe a passat?)
 

When I was living in New York City, I took acting lessons for a few years. Then I went to some auditions. I had small roles in 5 Off Off Broadway shows. After being in Moliere's The Miser, I was cast as Balthasar (Romeo's servant) in Romeo and Juliet. I was in the opening street brawl scene between the Capulets and Montagues. I was fighting another actor with Italian foils. He was playing Gregory, a Capulet servant. A few hours earlier I had a bowl of Campbells Bean with Bacon Soup. You know what beans make you do. I lunged at Gregory with my foil, and there was this sound that came out of me from eating beans. He heard it. I could tell by the surprised expression on his face. Fortunately for me, the audience couldn't, with the sound of the rapiers and daggers from the other actors, the screaming of the extras playing the towns people. I was so embarrassed that I avoided the other actor for the rest of the performance. Fortunately for me, the next performance was 3 or 4 days later.
From that time on, I made sure that I never ate any beans again, on the night of a performance. šŸ˜’
 
Well, this incident must be funny because every time I tell it, everyone around me laughs hysterically:
I was 5 years old. My mom went food shopping & she took me & my brother (6 yrs old) with her. The market she liked was 15 miles away. My brother has always been a pest & my sister & I hated him. He always called us names, stole things from us, broke our toys, hit us, etc.......
So, we follow our mom around the market for about an hour, then we get back to the car. She drives home & looks in the back seat.
I'm the only one sitting in it. She has a horrified look on her face & says, "Where is your brother?"
I said, "I saw him walking around the parking lot."
She said, "Why didn't you tell me he wasn't in the car?"
I said, "I thought we were leaving him at the market. I don't like him, anyway."

When we got back to the market, my brother was in the parking lot attendant's booth, crying hysterically. A police officer was with them & I saw him talking to our mom.
I remember thinking, "Now he knows what it feels like when he makes us cry......"
 
win231 said:
When we got back to the market, my brother was in the parking lot attendant's booth, crying hysterically. A police officer was with them & I saw him talking to our mom.
I remember thinking, "Now he knows what it feels like when he makes us cry......"
Click to expand...
Did he learn the lesson?
 
Was about 15 years old. Part of a touring group, where I was a colour guard in a marching band and our second fun act was a ballet-jazz troupe.

We'd arrived late for our time-slot show in the local recital. I was last to shower, so got ready doing hair swiftly and getting my costume on lickety-split. Well that meant no time to stretch pre-show... I was concerned!!!

We got onto the stage, music started, everything was going well, the crowds clapped. Routine begins and the dreaded high kick into full stage split arrives. As it was a lineup done one by one to end the dance, I was first to do it.

I kicked high, I was happy of that, not having stretched previously and landed my split just so.

Unfortunately, heard the crack and thankfully the curtains closed but... I never got back up! Stuck in the split position, I'd apparently pulled my hips out of whack and everything locked up. The laughing came from the paramedics in the city we were visiting. The laugh was that they'd never picked up a dancer stuck in the split position.

Arriving at the hospital ER, I was thrown on my side to be easier for them to get me off the guerney. All this without pain medication. It took 3 days to unlock my legs, then I was sent back home by plane.

I could still do my old ballet-jazz routines but no more high-kicks into splits. That was the end of my dancer's career... Them hips bothered me ever since plus my back pains on top of that. I'd hoped for compassion not laughing at my pain...
 
When I was 14yrs old I lived on a small street in the City. One day they were going to open the fire hydrant so we could get wet. I told my Mom I was going to soak in the tub and that if anyone knocked on the door to just tell them I didn't want to get wet under the plug.
After I got out of the tub the boy I was dating at the time knocked on the door. My Mom sent him up to my room where I was naked. I screamed but he didn't. We continued to date for 3 years
 
Oh I remembered another...
Background: I have a blond streak (well, it is gray now, but was blond then). Our dog had different colors of fur.

When I was little, I was with my mom when we ran into someone and the person commented on my blond streak. With the intention of being humorous, I said it was because I was half dog.

My mom got mad at me (really out of character for her) and told me to never say that again.

Took many years before I understood.
 

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