Are you a better person than you were a year ago?

Autumn said:
You're definitely a smart and perceptive lady. I wish I had learned what you know a long time ago. I would be thrilled and grateful if I still had my husband here, annoying habits and all. I don't know why some of that stupid stuff seemed so important to me at the time. Now, I would welcome the things that used to annoy me so much. You're right, life is too short...
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The stupid stuff is important but at 74 I have finally realized that while some things can not be fixed some things can be ignored and other things can be fixed. We want to refinance the house as soon as possible.

He gets the mail. He opens the mail. Gave up on this a long time ago. He NEEDS the mail. He needs to be the guy in charge of the mail. Occasionally he throws an important piece of mail away. Goes like this, did you see the letter from the VA yet? Nope, he says.

I go get the 2018 and 2019 letter. They are both mailed at the same time. Those proof of income letters are always mailed at the same time. I show him. You must have thrown it away. Nope, he says. 🤦🏻‍♀️ In the past my brain would blow a gasket cause I know, and he knows, he threw it away but he will never admit it. Never.

This time I look at him and I say, you need to call the VA and have them resent the letter. He says I will call them tomorrow 🤦🏻‍♀️. Nope you will call them now because tomorrow you will say your forgot. He calls them. Comes out and says the VA will mail the letter. Then he starts lying to try and convince me that he did not throw the letter away. He says the VA did not send any letters out this year. He expects me to believe this line of crap.

In the past, my brain would explode and my mouth would run and the fight would be on. As I accuse and he denies. But, I simply say, that’s not true, and walk away. We got the letter yesterday.

I say to him we paid higher taxes on the house because last year you didn’t take this letter in to the county despite my reminding you several times. Call and make an appointment to do it now for this year.

He said, i will do it tomorrow. Do it now while I watch. And so it goes. 😂. Rinse, repeat.
 
Aneeda72 said:
OMGosh yes!! If he needs to turn every light on in the house as he walks through it, I follow behind turning them off. If he ignores bringing the trash cans up, I do it. I pick up the trash he drops on the floor through out the house, and on and on and on. After 49 years if he still wants to watch old black and white cowboy shows, then be my guest. I surrender.

Thanks for posting, you clearly do get it.
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What is it with these ornery old guys only wanting to watch those old cowboy shows?! And cop shows. Nothin' but cowboys and cops (especially old shows); never anything new or different, no no no, just old cops and cowboys.
 
officerripley said:
What is it with these ornery old guys only wanting to watch those old cowboy shows?! And cop shows. Nothin' but cowboys and cops (especially old shows); never anything new or different, no no no, just old cops and cowboys.
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I have asked him several times to come watch tv with me. Always nope I am watching this cowboy movie, one he’s seen a trillion times. Used to drive me crazy, now I just say oh yeah we watched this when we were children. 😂
 
officerripley said:
What is it with these ornery old guys only wanting to watch those old cowboy shows?! And cop shows. Nothin' but cowboys and cops (especially old shows); never anything new or different, no no no, just old cops and cowboys.
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Yea, were in a rut, but it is our rut of choice. We do not grasp what is occurring in current society, it is not our society, far too chaotic
and crazed. So we will stick to our cowboys; were not cops and robbers fans, but we understand the plots.
We had 'our time', now we have our memories.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I have asked him several times to come watch tv with me. Always nope I am watching this cowboy movie, one he’s seen a trillion times. Used to drive me crazy, now I just say oh yeah we watched this when we were children. 😂
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accchhh..... who needs him.. you can always watch a tv show and come and discuss it with all of us if you want.... ( hubs and I barely ever watch TV together).. maybe a couple times of month at most
 
Aneeda72 said:
I have asked him several times to come watch tv with me. Always nope I am watching this cowboy movie, one he’s seen a trillion times. Used to drive me crazy, now I just say oh yeah we watched this when we were children. 😂
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jerry old said:
Yea, were in a rut, but it is our rut of choice. We do not grasp what is occurring in current society, it is not our society, far too chaotic
and crazed. So we will stick to our cowboys; were not cops and robbers fans, but we understand the plots.
We had 'our time', now we have our memories.
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Maybe it's a sign of depression or something, these old guys are depressed that they're not young and in their prime anymore. A co-worker's huzz got laid off and went into a depression over it; she tried to help him out of it, "Well, at least you weren't fired; this way you're at least getting Unempl. insurance; why don't you start working on your resume, etc." Nope he didn't want to hear any of that, just wanted to watch the History channel.

I said to my Huzz the other night, how come you seem to be living in the past with all these old shows, etc. and he says, "The past is all I got left." I said, "EXCUSE me?! We're living in the house, neighborhood, part of the state that you want to, not me; I think you've got it pretty darn good." And he said, "Oh, well, uh uh, I was just kidding." Uh huh.
 
I'm not a different person in any way, but the current situation has confirmed my opinion of people. I find it hard to believe that some folks still think the whole thing is a hoax.
I still come across people (all men!) who insist on shopping without a mask and won't keep their distance from others.
And there's our lovely postman, always smiling and cheerful, whatever the weather.
I appreciate our lovely postman even more....always smiling and cheerful, whatever the weather.
I'm glad I'm of a reclusive nature....the lockdown suits me just fine!
 
Rosemarie said:
I'm not a different person in any way, but the current situation has confirmed my opinion of people. I find it hard to believe that some folks still think the whole thing is a hoax.
I still come across people (all men!) who insist on shopping without a mask and won't keep their distance from others.
And there's our lovely postman, always smiling and cheerful, whatever the weather.
I appreciate our lovely postman even more....always smiling and cheerful, whatever the weather.
I'm glad I'm of a reclusive nature....the lockdown suits me just fine!
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Aren't masks required in your area? If they are not required, you can't blame people who don't wear them.
Since they are required where I am, I never see anyone shopping without one & no one would be allowed in any store without one.
Before they were mandatory, very few people wore masks.
 
win231 said:
Aren't masks required in your area? If they are not required, you can't blame people who don't wear them.
Since they are required where I am, I never see anyone shopping without one & no one would be allowed in any store without one.
Before they were mandatory, very few people wore masks.
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Yes, you can blame them. There's something known as common sense....it can save a person from killing someone else. Not wearing a mask can do that.
 
win231 said:
Aren't masks required in your area? If they are not required, you can't blame people who don't wear them.
Since they are required where I am, I never see anyone shopping without one & no one would be allowed in any store without one.
Before they were mandatory, very few people wore masks.
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yes masks are mandatory in the UK in any interior setting.. stores, malls, restaurants (except while actually eating or drinking)...public transport... but not mandatory out in the open air
 
That’s an interesting question. I’m not a better person, I don’t think, but I’m definitely a calmer, happier one. I had a really hard time last summer with the political hadred, civil unrests, media fodder...spinning my wheels about things I couldn’t do anything. I turned off the news one night and never turned it back on again. Peace once again returned to my mind and heart. I’m older, so the confinement and covid related stuff hasn’t bothered me all that much. When it first happened, I did a lot of grocery shopping for other people, but now that the stores deliver, they really do need me as much anymore for that. I terribly miss the way things used to be, I miss not seeing our family as much as we used to, but I’ve become more accepting about that too. So a better person? No...I’m pretty much the same as I always was
 
2019 was the year I absorbed Mom's death and the end of our family; the inheritance of the farm and everything else; the death of my best friend 4 months after Mom; the loss of another close relationship....and I was still here, functioning OK afterwards.
2020 was meant to be a new chapter. Then came my surgery (successfully returning me to close enough to normal) and the pandemic.
2021? OK, I'm still here and functioning. I'm actually redefining myself: at 67 I'm transitioning to being an old man, but an old man who never really "did" being a young man successfully, or "did" being middle aged successfully, in my view of things.
So now I'm down to getting it right being old. Maybe I'll do the endgame of my life better than I did the opening and midgame parts.
 
@Aneeda72 OMG, reading your last post, I think our husbands were separated at birth - the whole mail issue nearly sent me over the edge. It's just hard for me now, because I miss him so much I'd welcome the Great Mail Debate.

For years, I nagged him to please put the toilet seat down...never happened...but he finally found a solution, he just wouldn't put it up in the first place. So...I'd wander in and sit down on the toilet seat, in a puddle.

Amazing, the things I think about and the things I miss...
 
I will never stop learning or stop trying new things. Getting ready to start two new classes. Just finished two classes. I have always been "fearful" of a pressure canner. I bought a canner and I canned everything in site.... meat... vegetables.... bacon....soups... beans....everything. Learned to make ghee and to can it. Got an instapot for Christmas as well as an Alexa. Got to keep up with the times. Bought my first virtual currency. Doubled my silver investment. Drew unemployment for the first time in 38 years! Did I say I doubled by silver investment? 529 accounts for my grandkids.... All these things I have done in the last 12 months. Most of these things I have never done before. I am the same person... almost
 
Repondering said:
2019 was the year I absorbed Mom's death and the end of our family; the inheritance of the farm and everything else; the death of my best friend 4 months after Mom; the loss of another close relationship....and I was still here, functioning OK afterwards.
2020 was meant to be a new chapter. Then came my surgery (successfully returning me to close enough to normal) and the pandemic.
2021? OK, I'm still here and functioning. I'm actually redefining myself: at 67 I'm transitioning to being an old man, but an old man who never really "did" being a young man successfully, or "did" being middle aged successfully, in my view of things.
So now I'm down to getting it right being old. Maybe I'll do the endgame of my life better than I did the opening and midgame parts.
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You are way to hard on yourself my friend.
You are over invested in self criticism .
You are a fabulous man Repondering.
My wish is that some day you see it also and it will ignite that spark within with to shine a little brighter. ♥️
 
win231 said:
Aren't masks required in your area? If they are not required, you can't blame people who don't wear them.
Since they are required where I am, I never see anyone shopping without one & no one would be allowed in any store without one.
Before they were mandatory, very few people wore masks.
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Yes, police are empowered to fine people not wearing masks. However, they can't be everywhere and there are still idiots who try to be clever.
 
Autumn said:
@Aneeda72 OMG, reading your last post, I think our husbands were separated at birth - the whole mail issue nearly sent me over the edge. It's just hard for me now, because I miss him so much I'd welcome the Great Mail Debate.

For years, I nagged him to please put the toilet seat down...never happened...but he finally found a solution, he just wouldn't put it up in the first place. So...I'd wander in and sit down on the toilet seat, in a puddle.

Amazing, the things I think about and the things I miss...
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Reading your posts and Aneeda's has reminded me of what I had to put up with. It's just mind games...someone trying to make life unpleasant for someone else.
It's extremely frustrating and very stressful. I was in a state of tension the whole time, wondering what he would do next.
 

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