Cynical People, cynic, n. A man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin
http://www.cynical.ws/cynical_people/
Quote:
"Thank Gawd for cynical people, whose anchor in hard-won reality keep starry-eyed idealist from causing real trouble."
America is awash in cynics, a byproduct of American pioneer upbringing and a perpetual slate of candidates that provide cynics fresh meat (as if they needed more, those intellectual gluttons). Yet even among cynics, some are held in awe for their acerbic observations and verbal eviscerations. Cynics elevate them to divine heights, though real cynics see that as a profit making ploy."
1st Example:
Cynics Definition of the word "Camel"
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n. A racehorse designed by a committee."
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n. A quadruped useful for crossing deserts, show business, and offending anyone in close proximity."
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n. A beast with four legs and two humps – not to be confused with a Menage a trois."
2nd Example:
Cynics Definition of the word "Novel"
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n. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art."
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n. A well-padded short story."
Cynics comments:
"Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it."
"There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown aside with great force."
3rd Example, comment on the word "Introduction"
"The introduction attains its most malevolent development in this century, being, indeed, closely related to our political system. Every American being the equal of every other American, it follows that everybody has the right to know everybody else, which implies the right to introduce without request or permission. The Declaration of Independence should have read thus: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of strangers." — Ambrose Bierce