Are you a forgiving person? Would you cut someone out quickly if they had wronged you?

I can understand every one's feelings on this and I was not always where I am now.
I won't go into details how I got to where my feelings are now because it's different
for each of us.
Forgiving doesn't mean turn around and be a doormat and allow them to repeat,
it is fair to protect yourself, always. There are ways to be decent about things gone wrong.
I am just glad I am where I am now because I don't have to exert the energy to keep myself
on the edge over things said or done any longer.
Plus by now I think we each can spot certain habits or tendencies others may have and know when to
just step away so no buttons are pushed.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
There are wrongs that destroy lives and cut so deeply that I would first have to be a victim of such to know how I would process it.
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That's nicely put, @MACKTEXAS; it's why I cut off contact with my sister. I've tormented myself thinking that I should forgive her.

That line from the Lord's Prayer always comes to mind: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." So does the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant.

However, she has never asked for forgiveness or offered any sort of apology. I've cut off contact and am happy to no longer have to constantly worry about the stress of that unhappy relationship.
 
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Pepper said:
I’m very forgiving if the apology is sincere and even if it’s not. I don’t hold grudges. Sometimes I feel I would be a stronger more decisive person if I did have the pride it takes not to forgive. Maybe I m too wishy washy. Or. Maybe I takes more strength to forgive. I m not sure.
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It is harder to forgive than to just let someone go. You're not wishy washy. There's love in your heart.
 
I'm much more forgiving now that I'm older. I have a cousin that has made so many missteps, but each time I've forgiven her because I've tried to put myself in her shoes, plus she is my only living close family member.

I was by no means that tolerant when I was younger. If I felt someone did me wrong, they were out of my life. When I was in my 20's and living in Miami, a friend from Tampa came to visit. He dropped his luggage at my apartment, went his merry way and said he would meet me at a certain club at 9pm. A couple of hours went by and he never showed. I called him, and he said "sorry, but I met someone". I told him his luggage would be sitting on my front porch when he was ready to pick it up.
 
Normally I am but if someone says something to me that hurts me and we have discussed it and they apologized but says it again and again, that's where I draw the line!
After so many repeats, I know they're not sorry and I've run out of forgiveness. I feel that if they are truly sorry, they won't keep saying it over and over and over. I avoid that person as much as possible.
 
I don't know which camp I slot into.

Sure, I've hurt over things said or done to me. But mostly I can't remember how I reacted. Maybe I'm ok about it all because it's forgotten.

My daughter's father abused me badly. We left him when she was three, but he was still 'around' because we had a daughter (who he saw infrequently).
Anyway, over the latter years he became ill, I helped daughter clean up his place when he was in hospital. He was in and out of hospital many times. I sourced new accommodation to suit his needs, which included care. I gave it no thought about his abuse towards me. I was there to help like I would anyone else.
He died last year, had no friends so it was just relatives/family at funeral. Briefly, his first wife also showed up (he had three ex wives, we all suffered abuse). The ex wife laughed out loud at something said which wasn't remotely funny. I thought it despicable TBH. She'd probably been sat on that for 25+ years. I just don't get it why someone would do that.

So yes, I've hurt but after whatever time lag passes by and life goes on, I suppose it's the forgiven but not forgotten camp?
 
LadyEmeraude said:
For myself, I am a forgiving person (all depending).

Yes, I have cut someone out quite quickly from my life
who I feel had wronged me. And that can include a family
member.

I have to weigh things out in the moments and situations
at the time, to come to my decision.
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A fair question.

When it comes to say, my wife, I think I'm very forgiving.

When it comes to family - and this likely seems backwards to many people - I'm less so.

There are people in my past, in my personal life, that I shall never forgive for their actions. In fact, I'm on LinkedIn (I don't use it anymore, but I still have an account there), and a previous colleague tries to contact me regularly - and I'm talking over a period of years. Whilst I spare him the vitriol, I hated working with him. I didn't like his attitude, and I didn't like his character. So, that's a lack of forgiveness, I guess.

As for family, I will never forgive some of the things that went on.
 
I haven't reached that level of perfection to classify myself as being forgiving. What I don't do is let someone rent space in my head for free when their words or actions I cannot respect. Somewhere I read a phrase that fits my frame of mind, "I don't suffer fools well".
 
I don’t believe in this “one mistake and you’re cancelled” nonsense. I look at the overall relationship and how it is trending. This assumes the offense is not a major one. If it was criminal or a very serious betrayal of trust, that is another matter.
 
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