Are You A Talker, or A Listener?

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
Some people are big talkers and some are better listeners. I'm a better listener than talker in general, how about you?
 

I just play a talker on message boards, in day to day real life, I'm generally a quiet person doing most of the listening. I especially dislike cocktail parties and things of that nature that really require a lot of chit chat. Come to think of it, these days, I sometimes am not as good of a listener either, I tend to tune people out more often than not. But only tuning out if it's small talk and not some important matter that they really need some to really care.
 
At home I don't talk much. My hubby talks at me all the time but being rather deaf, doesn't often take time to listen to anything I might say in response. A lot of the time I tune him out.

Outside the home I'm a talker. I talk to anyone I meet whether I know them or not.
 

I'm a better listener but only because I never felt I knew the right time to break into a conversation. Still have that issue. Always feel like I'm interrupting.
 
I do a lot of talking. I am a drug counselor at a rehab center, schools, churches and NA meetings. I do both groups and one on one. I also give lectures on the use of drugs. I had to take a course and pass a test at the local extension of Penn State and become certified to be able to do this. I am one of the very few that do this for no charge.
 
I have been working at becoming a better listener. Growing up, most children are never taught how to listen...only how to speak. There is more power in listening than in speaking, because listeners are learning things. When you watch detectives interviewing someone, they put out a lot of silence, and listen. The perp always feels the need to talk to fill those silences. I think we live in a world of talkers, and that real listeners are rare. I have a tendency to talk before someone is finished, but I am trying to do better.

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When you watch detectives interviewing someone, they put out a lot of silence, and listen. The perp always feels the need to talk to fill those silences."
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As does psychologists and psychiatrists. There's a reason for this.
 
I listen... but I'd have to say I'm a talker for the most part. Problably because of teaching and presentations.. I have no fear of public speaking and can stand up and lecture so long as I am comfortable with the topic. In other words... I'm not just pulling stuff out of my hind end, and trying to wing it.. but talking about something I'm well versed in.
 
For me, it depends on the cnversation, and how much I feel like I should input into it. If the conversation is about something that I don't know much of anything about; I probably will just be listening; but if it is something that i know about, or want to participate in, then I am a talker.
When someone is sharing something with me, and they just need to say it, I also just listen; but if we are discussing plans or how we want to do something; then I am usually being an equal participant in the conversation.

When I sold insurance; I had to talk all day long; so I came home and was glad not to do much talking then.
So, I guess for me; it is a variable characteristic; and by nature, I think I am mostly a listener.
 
As Happyflowerlady says, it does depend on who you are talking to and what the conversation is about. I can do both [I hope.]
A conversation consists of both talking and listening. My Mother used to say 'conversation is a ball that should be tossed lightly from one person to the other.' There is always the old saying 'better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, than to open it and thereby prove it!' ;)
 
I'm not a "motor mouth" like some people, but talk when necessary, NOT excessively.

Have you ever noticed that in most small groups, there's always ONE idiot dominating the conversation and never lets up?!

Another dominator is the driver of the car, man or woman. "Hey, This is MY car and I'll talk as much as I want. If ya don't like it, get out and walk !"
 
Without a doubt, I'm a "talker" and wife is a "listener". I can be a "motor mouth" and some older folks don't like that. I have a tendency to put humor into my talking and have run into older folks that don't understand that humor or even like it. I don't know why, other than some folks just don't have a good "sense of humor". My wife loves the way I am. At our Wedding Reception, we had some Square Dancers and a Caller. The Caller gave me the microphone for the "toasts". Well, after having a few Coors Light and a few shots of Tequila, I was really doing the "toasts". My wife's Maid of Honor said "ok, who gave him the mic", half joking/half serious. I also don't need a mic to have people hear me. Yep, my voice can get that loud!

Now, there are times when my wife goes from "listener" to "talker", after a couple of mugs of beer. Oh yes, alcohol can definitely open her up!
 
ClssicRockr, I enjoy your post. You are generally funny. Full of yourself, but not excessively obnoxious. You seem to enjoy yourself, and each to his own.
After my mental melt down a few months ago, I am reverting back to a listener. :wave:
 
Falcon said:
I'm not a "motor mouth" like some people, but talk when necessary, NOT excessively.

Have you ever noticed that in most small groups, there's always ONE idiot dominating the conversation and never lets up?!

Another dominator is the driver of the car, man or woman. "Hey, This is MY car and I'll talk as much as I want. If ya don't like it, get out and walk !"
Click to expand...


I hardly ever talk when Im driving,Im a 100% concentrate on my driving.
Ya think thats why Ive never had an accident or gotten as ticket?
 
Yes, a few drinks make people open up all right, but remember the old saying 'there's many a slip, 'tween cup and lip'. We can all say too much!
 
Meanderer said:
I have been working at becoming a better listener. Growing up, most children are never taught how to listen...only how to speak.
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My perception of family and school life is exactly the opposite.
Listening was a necessary skill when I was growing up and aural concentration was very important. Instructions were almost invariably given verbally. No such thing as photocopiers; you had to listen carefully to everything. As children we lived very regimented lives and were always being told 'Quiet, no talking".

TV didn't arrive in Australia until the late fifties and at home we listened to the radio for news, serials, quiz shows and plays. Even movies of the day were more like filmed plays with a lot of dialogue to concentrate on.

Primary school did not encourage us to voice any opinions of our own. When pointed to, we had to spit out an answer to a question, otherwise we were to stay silent. It was only later in secondary school that we were able to take part in debating but even that was a rare event.

As an adult I have found my voice and I love to talk to people. I initiate conversations face to face and online..
As people are no doubt aware, I like to engage with people who have different opinions to myself*** so I have to do some listening as well, otherwise the whole exercise is pointless. Talking and listening helps us to understand each other better. I'm pleased to have had the opportunity for dialogue with other members of this forum. I'm learning a lot.

*** i.e. I love a good argument.
 
God made us with 2 ears and one mouth ...

That means you are supposed to listen twice as much as you talk.....


How about my signature ???
Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if it would only keep its mouth shut !!!!!!!!!
 
We evolved without the help of any deity, especially the crazy one depicted in the Bible, imo!
 

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