Are you romantic?

Magna-Carta said:
I think as some have said, just playing your part in a relationship can be seen a romantic -- just doing the necessary & protectable things together. Or even separately for that matter.

And then follow those practicalities by taking it up a notch. Something simple like getting up in the morning & leaving the house before she gets, placing a simple inexpensive gift inside of something that you know she is going to open. She has the rest of the day to reflect upon it before she has the chance to tell you about it.

As you say, “…depend on the length and depth of the relationship”.
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Or just making coffee for your partner in the morning. That is very romantic to me because it shows a level of care and love, consideration, that I'm being thought about. Coffee tastes so much better when someone you love makes it for you.

My husband and I go back and forth with this; right now, I wake first so when getting my coffee, set up his machine and have it waiting with his favorite mug and spoon.

A million years ago, when we were first married, while gently explaining, during a therapy session, that I kept saying I would do laundry but forgetting and he'd have to wash clothes in the morning before work and end up running out of time and wearing wet underwear, my husband said, "I mean, I'll wear wet underwear for the rest of my life."

One of the most romantic things anyone has every said to me. ♥
 

Medusa said:
Hm, yeah, I can see where that might seem a little off to you as romance, in my experience, is often picked up in real time, which is what makes it effective.

However, on further thought, maybe your type of romance is simply a slow burn kind of thing that hits the target later, on reflection, as you say. I can see that being nice as well.
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That’s interesting. I wonder if a slower burning sense of romance in the other person then becomes more memorable in the long term. Perhaps an immediate sense has its part to play, but a slow burning sense then later becomes part of the other person’s subconscious, and perhaps a ‘feeling’ or sense then remains for much longer. Helping to cement some relationships perhaps?
 
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Medusa said:
Or just making coffee for your partner in the morning. That is very romantic to me because it shows a level of care and love, consideration, that I'm being thought about. Coffee tastes so much better when someone you love makes it for you.

My husband and I go back and forth with this; right now, I wake first so when getting my coffee, set up his machine and have it waiting with his favorite mug and spoon.

A million years ago, when we were first married, while gently explaining, during a therapy session, that I kept saying I would do laundry but forgetting and he'd have to wash clothes in the morning before work and end up running out of time and wearing wet underwear, my husband said, "I mean, I'll wear wet underwear for the rest of my life."

One of the most romantic things anyone has every said to me. ♥
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LOL... Briliant!
 

Magna-Carta said:
That’s interesting. I wonder if a slower burning sense of romance in the other person then becomes more memorable in the long term. Perhaps an immediate sense has its part to play, but a slow burning sense then later becomes part of the other person’s subconscious, and perhaps a ‘feeling’ or t sense then remains for much longer. Helping to cement some relationships perhaps?
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I don't know, that wet underwear thing still makes me swoony 33 years later.
 
Medusa said:
I don't know, that wet underwear thing still makes me swoony 33 years later.
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I kind of get the impression that where you 'might' be concerned, some men might not know what they are letting themselves in for, or getting themselves into. :unsure:... :)... 😀...

They might be left with a bewildering sense of ‘what’s going on?”. But wanting to come back for more anyway?
 
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At heart I am but age has killed off a lot of my romantic feelings. Also men are more pragmatic, less romantic too.

Pet names - no, but I call almost everyone "dear" because it really brightens their day. :)
 
Magna-Carta said:
I kind of get the impression that where you 'might' be concerned, some men might not know what they are letting themselves in for, or getting themselves into. :unsure:... :)... 😀...

They might be left with a bewildering sense of ‘what’s going on?”. But wanting to come back for more anyway?
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You'd have to ask them, sir and since you can't that will have to remain a mystery. 🙃 ♥
 
Medusa said:
You'd have to ask them, sir and since you can't that will have to remain a mystery. 🙃 ♥
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So I’m left with a thought…

I don't expect you to answer. In fact now I think about it further, I don’t want you to answer, but I’ll say it anyway. Has your husband ever said, “I’ve got some wet underwear on tonight” And then winked?
 
Magna-Carta said:
So I’m left with a thought…

I don't expect you to answer. In fact now I think about it further, I don’t want you to answer, but I’ll say it anyway. Has your husband ever said, “I’ve got some wet underwear on tonight” And then winked?
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No. You missed the point there, I think.
 
Medusa said:
No. You missed the point there, I think.
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My thought wasn't directed specifically at the post I responded to, It went to a previous one. I got the point you were making regarding “…sir and since you can't that will have to remain a mystery.”

I see now that I should have acknowledged your latter post first, before going back.
 
Magna-Carta said:
My thought wasn't directed specifically at the post I responded to, It went to a previous one. I got the point you were making regarding “…sir and since you can't that will have to remain a mystery.”

I see now that I should have acknowledged your latter post first, before going back.
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As I am unable to come up with a useful response to this, I think best I leave it here.
Others might have opinions for you, however.
 
Not in the sense that the OP meant. But, like Magna-Carta, walking along a river at night looking at city lights I find very romantic. I also love watching ships at sea that are all lit up at night. That sort of thing moves me. Using cutsie names is jut not my style.
Or, as Medusa said, making the coffee early in the AM for your husband, and the like is a romantic act.

Those are just a couple of examples of my idea of being a romantic.
 
I do call my love interests pet names such as sweetheart.

But for the most part I'm not romantic. I've shared many beautiful sunsets, etc., with people I wasn't romantically interested in, nor they in me.

I've been treated to romantic meals, roses, and so on, only to have the person dump me cruelly or throw the roses in the garbage. So all that means nothing to me.

I just want someone who likes me, keeps his promises, etc. Ha.
 
Magna-Carta said:
I think as some have said, just playing your part in a relationship can be seen as romantic -- just doing the necessary & practicable things together. Or even separately for that matter.
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To my wife, Michelle, that's romantic. I stay out of her way while she does her thing, and vice-versa. But when the day's dust has settled, we are one.

Things were totally different with my first wife. We married young. Just out of high-school. Our fist son was born within a year. I worked a day job and attended a community college 3 evenings a week, she stayed home with the baby. I remember Shelly being very demanding, but maybe she was just overwhelmed. I know I was.

She asked me to quit college so that she could take a business course at the college, and, to make her happy, I did. She'd hand me the baby and leave for school soon as I got home from work. Before the end of her first semester, she was pregnant with our second son. She didn't want to go to school in maternity clothes, so I went back to the work plus school routine, and after the baby was born we started arguing a lot.

Every day for me was work, school, babies, arguments, seks, sleep. For Shelly, babies, laundry, cooking, and never enough attention and appreciation and seks from her husband. Still, she got pregnant a third time. And soon after our daughter was born, the shyte really hit the fan. Shelly went elsewhere for the attention, seks, and escape she craved.

Shelly did not see me as a romantic. Not after we married, anyway. Not the romantic that she expected, I guess. I brought her flowers every once in a while, and pampered her on her birthday and Mother's Day. But every day I'd come home to a messy house, a cranky wife, and a baby in a wet diaper. And all of that tripled within 5 years; the house 3 times messier, the wife 3 times crankier, the 3 kids 3 times dirtier.

How in the world can you even muster the energy to be romantic in a situation like that? I couldn't. But the guy living behind us managed to.

Anyway, after staying single until just a few years ago, I married Michelle, and she says I'm a 5-Star romantic. But then, she's old enough to know what that is...what it is to her. And I don't have to do anything to earn that rating except be myself.
 
Murrmurr said:
To my wife, Michelle, that's romantic. I stay out of her way while she does her thing, and vice-versa. But when the day's dust has settled, we are one.

Things were totally different with my first wife. We married young. Just out of high-school. Our fist son was born within a year. I worked a day job and attended a community college 3 evenings a week, she stayed home with the baby. I remember Shelly being very demanding, but maybe she was just overwhelmed. I know I was.

She asked me to quit college so that she could take a business course at the college, and, to make her happy, I did. She'd hand me the baby and leave for school soon as I got home from work. Before the end of her first semester, she was pregnant with our second son. She didn't want to go to school in maternity clothes, so I went back to the work plus school routine, and after the baby was born we started arguing a lot.

Every day for me was work, school, babies, arguments, seks, sleep. For Shelly, babies, laundry, cooking, and never enough attention and appreciation and seks from her husband. Still, she got pregnant a third time. And soon after our daughter was born, the shyte really hit the fan. Shelly went elsewhere for the attention, seks, and escape she craved.

Shelly did not see me as a romantic. Not after we married, anyway. Not the romantic that she expected, I guess. I brought her flowers every once in a while, and pampered her on her birthday and Mother's Day. But every day I'd come home to a messy house, a cranky wife, and a baby in a wet diaper. And all of that tripled within 5 years; the house 3 times messier, the wife 3 times crankier, the 3 kids 3 times dirtier.

How in the world can you even muster the energy to be romantic in a situation like that? I couldn't. But the guy living behind us managed to.

Anyway, after staying single until just a few years ago, I married Michelle, and she says I'm a 5-Star romantic. But then, she's old enough to know what that is...what it is to her. And I don't have to do anything to earn that rating except be myself.
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I appreciate your honesty about the difficulties you faced. In reality perhaps, the difficulties you both faced with young children and new experiences that that brings. It's great that you and your current wife, Michelle, have found a balance that works for both of you and that you consider yourself a 5-star romantic in her eyes. It's important for us all to remember that every relationship is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's all about finding the right person and the right balance that brings out the best in both. It looks like you have survived, as we all have to. Thank you for sharing your story. :)
 
I'm terribly romantic but to me that consists of sitting on a porch step together
and looking at the stars, feeling the stillness of the night and the closeness of
him; feeling love for him. (sigh!)
 
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