At this age do you feel you have it figured out?

B

Blessed

Well-known Member
Do you feel that you know yourself well? Have you figured it out? Do you accept your shortcomings?. Have you really realized the things you do have a great influence on others?

I feel that I have finally learned the lessons that take a lifetime to see, really realize that things you do or say make such a difference in other people existence. I finally get it, that I must take a minute to think before I speak. To understand that my words can be hurtful or uplifting.

I think for many of us we were just reactive, that we did not even stop to think our words could be hurtful, not encouraging to family and friends. I realized that it was imperative, to really think about the question, the situation before I spoke. In our younger years we were often to give answers that hurt others, not solutions we thought could help.

Am I the only one who regrets certain conversations, ways we could have reacted differently? Now, I worry if I don't respond, if I say let me think about it. The truth is I have finally learned to take the time to think about it. So often our younger people, both come to us for advice or guidance. When I was younger I think I may have given the wrong advice. Quick to judge, there was no forgiveness, no longer away to repair a relationship, no longer a way to forgive.

It is so important at this stage in our lifes to repair false hurts, to mend broken hearts, to know that life is full of these things when we know we miss those people. They were a big part of our life. I just know I don't want to die without letting these people know how much they meant to me, what a big part they were of my life, anyone else in the middle of these regrets and how do we fix them?
 

I know myself very well and have life all figured out. Of course, there is always more to learn in the world; I'm satisfied I truly know what's up. I've reached my goal of knowing myself; I & Me have no secrets from each other. The world shocks me but doesn't surprise me. I do have fears for my grandson's life; but it's up to him to make his own way. I wish I could protect him; I can't.
 
Blessed said:
Do you feel that you know yourself well? Have you figured it out? Do you accept your shortcomings?. Have you really realized the things you do have a great influence on others?

I feel that I have finally learned the lessons that take a lifetime to see, really realize that things you do or say make such a difference in other people existence. I finally get it, that I must take a minute to think before I speak. To understand that my words can be hurtful or uplifting.

I think for many of us we were just reactive, that we did not even stop to think our words could be hurtful, not encouraging to family and friends. I realized that it was imperative, to really think about the question, the situation before I spoke. In our younger years we were often to give answers that hurt others, not solutions we thought could help.

Am I the only one who regrets certain conversations, ways we could have reacted differently? Now, I worry if I don't respond, if I say let me think about it. The truth is I have finally learned to take the time to think about it. So often our younger people, both come to us for advice or guidance. When I was younger I think I may have given the wrong advice. Quick to judge, there was no forgiveness, no longer away to repair a relationship, no longer a way to forgive.

It is so important at this stage in our lifes to repair false hurts, to mend broken hearts, to know that life is full of these things when we know we miss those people. They were a big part of our life. I just know I don't want to die without letting these people know how much they meant to me, what a big part they were of my life, anyone else in the middle of these regrets and how do we fix them?
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Sounds a bit like me. The way I go about mending is by actions, not just words. Be the better person you've become and they will notice.
If you haven't had the chance because you don't see them you'll have to reach out. Some will respond, some won't. Remember, they are not perfect either and have their own crosses to bear.
Oh, and forgive yourself first. šŸµ
 

Iā€™ve been on both sides.

Words have consequences and we need to accept that.

We can only control one side of a relationship and we need to accept the fact that some things canā€™t be fixed.

Sometimes it helps to make amends and sometimes it just stirs the pot.

All we can do is try to be a better version of ourselves and accept the things that we cannot change. šŸ¤—
 
For the most part, I think I have myself figured out. Every now and then a big change or event happens that seems to throw a wrench in my life and it takes a few days, months or years to get back on track. Sometimes I even surprise myself when I realize that there doesn't seem to be a big enough wrench to make me want to stop moving forward with my life. 2023 in general was a test though. Too many wrenches at once but I managed to come out of it, with a lot of help from good people.
 
Somehow I don't think there will be a solid gold 300 ft statue of Fuzzybuddy, erected by adoring generations of admirers. I'm just an average guy, who had an average job, and lived an average 20th Century life. I don't think I discovered the "true meaning of Life", or any great life truth. I'm still proud that I can parallel park on a very steep hill, with a stick shift car.
 
I don't have it figured out yet and never will. I did learn at an early age that my actions had consequences but the consequences never matched up with what I had done or was supposedly thinking about doing. When I was a kid: "What've you got that look at your face for?! You'd better stop being so sulky!" when I wasn't thinking about anything much at all, let alone being sulky; I was just born with Grumpy Resting Face.

So the concept of consequences was warped for me from Day One since one of my earliest memories (I was 5 or 6) when something bad and humiliating happened to me, I remember wondering, "Why is God so mad at me?! What did I do wrong?!" I hadn't done anything wrong; I was looking (NOT touching!) into a mirror and trying to figure out my right from my left hand and got called a "r3tard" by a middle-aged male. But had no one at home I could tell about it--this is the first time I've ever shared this with anyone--so I naturally thought, because of the way i was being "raised", was that god was punishing me for something.

Why a supreme being would punish a kid that young, a kid too young unless a born-sociopath to have done anything to be punished for yet, is cruel and stupid.
 
My ā€˜figuring it outā€™ is realizing that I shouldnā€™t have anything to figure out. Just be grateful for my day and my daily blessings. Part of Florida is underwater and I am safe and warm in our house. We have enough food and water. Iā€™m grateful. Thinking about what Iā€™m grateful for is ALL I need to figure out. If I figure that out, the day magically figures itself out. Iā€™m very blessed. The dogs are curled up in their beds with blankies and thereā€™s raisin bread baking in the oven with 2 loaves of white bread to follow. The only thing for me to figure out is how blessed I truly am.
 
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To me. "IT" means coming to terms with yourself and the you choose to lead. Living each moment as it may be your last, being totally honest with yourself and as though you've got nothing to hide.

No regrets from past experience, knowing at the time the choices you made were for a reason. Accepting yourself as you are now for that is all that matters.

There are no failures in life. If you think you have not found "IT" the secret is in knowing you are it.
 
If you feel like you wronged someone and try to make amends with them - and they refuse it - then itā€™s on them. We have no control over otherā€™s behavior.
 
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