Jillaroo
Demented
- Location
- Mid North Coast NSW Australia
Auction
- Thread starter Jillaroo
- Start date
SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
LOL!
I used to be an auction addict - didn't matter if it was Sotheby's or Uncle Ned's weekly affair with boxes of junk he found on the side of the road, I was there. Luckily my wife was also really into it so it wass something we both could do on "date nights".
I picked up many treasures during those years, but the most memorable was the "Mystery Box" I won at an auction just outside of Allentown, PA one beautiful October Saturday morning. My wife was telling me not to bid too much, but for some reason I just HAD to have that box, unknown contents be damned.
The auction started at $0.25 and went up in quarter-dollar increments to $1.00, then $2.00, then $5.00 ... whenever I nodded at the auctioneer he'd immediately get another bid from another audience member. I couldn't quite make out who was bidding against me and running the price up, but I wasn't going to be denied - I wanted my Mystery Box!
Along around $10.00 my wife had begun poking me in the ribs whenever I bid. At $15.00 she resorted to shin kicks, and at $20 they turned into out-and-out groin strikes, but I kept on going. I was fueled by stories of former Mystery Boxes containing amazing treasures - gold estate jewelry, coin collections, handguns - so I felt I had nothing to lose but a few bucks.
$25 ... $30 ... $35 ... at this point I wondered if my bidding opponents were shills of the auctioneer, something not unknown in this particular auction house, but I kept on bidding.
Finally my last bid - $45 - went unanswered, "Going once, going twice, all in .... SOLD!". I was pumped, my face red from the action and my pulse beating out a strong rhythm.
I went up to the assistant who was moving the box to the side, wanting to look inside to see what I had won, but was informed that I had to settle up with the cashier first. I was a semi-regular at this auction house and was a bit taken-aback, but went and paid for my treasure. My wife helping, we toted it out to the Jeep in the parking lot, pulled down the back gate and plopped the box down. My hands were trembling as I used a penknife to slit the tape holding the box closed, then we both peered inside, holding our breath, to find ...
Jock straps. Dozens and dozens of jock straps.
USED jock straps.
:miserable:
I used to be an auction addict - didn't matter if it was Sotheby's or Uncle Ned's weekly affair with boxes of junk he found on the side of the road, I was there. Luckily my wife was also really into it so it wass something we both could do on "date nights".
I picked up many treasures during those years, but the most memorable was the "Mystery Box" I won at an auction just outside of Allentown, PA one beautiful October Saturday morning. My wife was telling me not to bid too much, but for some reason I just HAD to have that box, unknown contents be damned.
The auction started at $0.25 and went up in quarter-dollar increments to $1.00, then $2.00, then $5.00 ... whenever I nodded at the auctioneer he'd immediately get another bid from another audience member. I couldn't quite make out who was bidding against me and running the price up, but I wasn't going to be denied - I wanted my Mystery Box!
Along around $10.00 my wife had begun poking me in the ribs whenever I bid. At $15.00 she resorted to shin kicks, and at $20 they turned into out-and-out groin strikes, but I kept on going. I was fueled by stories of former Mystery Boxes containing amazing treasures - gold estate jewelry, coin collections, handguns - so I felt I had nothing to lose but a few bucks.
$25 ... $30 ... $35 ... at this point I wondered if my bidding opponents were shills of the auctioneer, something not unknown in this particular auction house, but I kept on bidding.
Finally my last bid - $45 - went unanswered, "Going once, going twice, all in .... SOLD!". I was pumped, my face red from the action and my pulse beating out a strong rhythm.
I went up to the assistant who was moving the box to the side, wanting to look inside to see what I had won, but was informed that I had to settle up with the cashier first. I was a semi-regular at this auction house and was a bit taken-aback, but went and paid for my treasure. My wife helping, we toted it out to the Jeep in the parking lot, pulled down the back gate and plopped the box down. My hands were trembling as I used a penknife to slit the tape holding the box closed, then we both peered inside, holding our breath, to find ...
Jock straps. Dozens and dozens of jock straps.
USED jock straps.
:miserable:
dbeyat45
Professional Stirrer
- Location
- SE Queensland, Australia
I truss you found a use for them Phil. 
SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
I truss you found a use for them Phil.
Oooh ... you really balled me over with that one! Left me hanging!
I guess I'll just have to groin and bare it ...
Diwundrin
Well-known Member
- Location
- Nth Coast NSW Australia
:lofl:
Jillaroo
Demented
- Location
- Mid North Coast NSW Australia
Oh dear Phil would have come in handy if you were a gardener , you could have hung the garlic in some and used others for supporting the huge grapefruits on the tree, i can picture it now, the local media would have heard about it and ran a story about you and your fantastic idea and instantly you were a celebrity 
SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
Oh dear Phil would have come in handy if you were a gardener , you could have hung the garlic in some and used others for supporting the huge grapefruits on the tree, i can picture it now, the local media would have heard about it and ran a story about you and your fantastic idea and instantly you were a celebrity
LMAO!
Yep, that would have been sweet!
We scratched our heads for a long time, trying to figure out what to do with those things. I mean, they're pretty specialized items, ya' know? Outside of the gardening idea (which we never had), we were thinking of selling them as slingshots, hubcap spinners, elbow and knee bracess, even spaghetti strainers ...
We ended up paying to have them professionally cleaned and sterilized, then donated them to a few local high school teams.
All told, I think I paid over $150 for this fiasco.
In contrast, I went to an auction in Brooklyn once when I was living in my loft in Greenwich Village. I had a lot of spare room to put my treasures and I used to play piano and electronic keyboards back then. Well, I came upon a piano up for auction in this little hole-in-the-wall place - a player piano. With stained-glass windows over the rollers. Perfect shape, from the late 1800's.
There were about 12 people total bidding at this auction, and I ended up getting the piano for $50 because, as the auctioneer said, "You'll pay a heck of a lot more to have it moved than that". What he didn't know was that I had a friend in the moving business that owed me a few favors, so I got it moved from Brooklyn to lower Manhattan and up 6 floors in a rickety old freight elevator for free. As it turned out everything worked perfectly on it and I ended up selling it many years later for quite a large sum.
So I guess it all balances out if you go to enough auctions.
Diwundrin
Well-known Member
- Location
- Nth Coast NSW Australia
I've only ever bid at two auctions, got a steel filing cabinet for a song at a clearing sale.
Best buy was at a clearing sale for small local bowling club moving to new premises. Everything in it was up for grabs so I trotted along to get a few chairs. My old dining room ones were a safety hazard and I wanted replacements until I could get a decent setting.
Well the ones they had were perfect. Steel frames and lovely red vinyl padding and comfy as all get out to sit on.
Problem was they were selling them in job lots of different types. The ones I wanted were in a lot of 18! I only needed 6.
Just before the auction the local pharmacy owner sidled up and asked was I going to bid. He only wanted 6 for waiting customers in his shop so could we do a deal?? He offered me a minimum of $20 each up to $30 if it went over that. ...So I was down to 12. Another 'bidder' only wanted a couple for a small cafe table... down to 10 There were only a couple of other bidders left and they weren't keen so I got 'em . Everybody paid up, the 2nd bloke bought an extra one off me at the $20 so I was down to 9 and they cost me the princely sum of $13 each after the wheeling and dealing was done. They are around $120 each retail. What a great day.
I had a friend with me so we packed and stacked and stuffed them into two sedans. Didn't think it possible to get 5 dining room chairs into small and medium sized cars but we did it, and took off for the 30 minute drive home up the highway buried in chairs and barely able to move enough to reach the gear sticks.
I've still got them, 12 years later, and in another home, never did buy a new setting. Sitting on a spare one right now and it's perfect support for my back problems. Serendipity.
Best buy was at a clearing sale for small local bowling club moving to new premises. Everything in it was up for grabs so I trotted along to get a few chairs. My old dining room ones were a safety hazard and I wanted replacements until I could get a decent setting.
Well the ones they had were perfect. Steel frames and lovely red vinyl padding and comfy as all get out to sit on.
Problem was they were selling them in job lots of different types. The ones I wanted were in a lot of 18! I only needed 6.
Just before the auction the local pharmacy owner sidled up and asked was I going to bid. He only wanted 6 for waiting customers in his shop so could we do a deal?? He offered me a minimum of $20 each up to $30 if it went over that. ...So I was down to 12. Another 'bidder' only wanted a couple for a small cafe table... down to 10 There were only a couple of other bidders left and they weren't keen so I got 'em . Everybody paid up, the 2nd bloke bought an extra one off me at the $20 so I was down to 9 and they cost me the princely sum of $13 each after the wheeling and dealing was done. They are around $120 each retail. What a great day.
I had a friend with me so we packed and stacked and stuffed them into two sedans. Didn't think it possible to get 5 dining room chairs into small and medium sized cars but we did it, and took off for the 30 minute drive home up the highway buried in chairs and barely able to move enough to reach the gear sticks.
I've still got them, 12 years later, and in another home, never did buy a new setting. Sitting on a spare one right now and it's perfect support for my back problems. Serendipity.