Timetrvlr
Member
- Location
- central interior B.C., Canada
Bad Day At Work
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy:Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister.
"Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.
I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds
like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and
start working, is take the hose and stuff it down
the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse. Within a few
seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
the hose out from my back, but the
damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and
pumped it into my suit.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch,
I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear
due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers,
were all laughing hysterically.Needless to say
I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears
of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as
I got in the chamber. The cream put the
fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days
because my butthole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it would be if you
had a jellyfish shoved up your butt."
