Boomers are squandering their children's inheritance!

Trish said:
Recently there have been several articles concerning (mostly) Millenials worrying about Baby Boomer parents spending "their" inheritance on luxury holidays and expensive lifestyles which, they fear, is draining their inheritance. My question is, should adult children's expectation of an inheritance really stretch to worrying that their parents are spending "their" money?

The subject interested me because, I do know someone who is recently retired, enjoys an occasional holiday and has plans to redecorate her home now she has more time. She was very excited but, when she phoned her daughter to chat about her plans, the daughter made it clear that, instead of spending money on herself, her mother should be cutting-back and helping her out. As far as I know, the daughter is not struggling financially although, like a lot of people these days, she probably does have a limited budget but, I think, mum is entitled to enjoy the next stage of her life including spending her own money on making things more comfortable for herself.

I think the daughter is lucky she is not my daughter as I doubt I would have been so patient but, maybe I am wrong? Should parents be subsidising their adult children's lifestyle rather than enjoying their own?

Most of the articles are behind paywalls and I haven't linked them but, Google is your friend if you want to read more. :)
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The parents lived their lives, save and deserve to spend their money on whatever brings them peace and pleasure in the fall/winter of their lives.

The daughter sounds very spoiled and selfish, I would not have been so patient with her either. Older people have already been through a lot with raising their children, and taking care of things every day of their lives, to make them feel guilty about spending their own money on simple pleasures in their old age is disgusting, IMO.
 

rgp said:
I never inherited , and I have no kids [to] inherit so ? Hell I still need to make out my will. I have one or two charities in mind ..... kids & animals.
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Same here, no inheritance and no kids. I do appreciate all my parents did for me and my siblings when they were alive, good memories, can't put a dollar sign on that.
 
Capt Lightning said:
When they were younger, we supported the children through university so that they didn't end up starting working life with debts,and now they're doing OK. My elder daughter is hoping to buy her own house. We offered to help her financially, but she refused saying that she would find something she could afford and we should enjoy our savings, go for holidays etc...
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You did a good job as a parent, your daughter sounds like she's a very kind and caring person. I wish all of you well in life. 💙
 

I don't know. I'm at the end of the boomers. I don't think there will be anything for me. It will depend if my stepfather dies suddenly or goes to assisted living/nursing home. With the latter, that will take anything. Has they kept any of the houses they lived in in Santa Cruz, that would be another story.

I have no kids so that's not an issue. I hear some of the younger people are maxing out credit cards. Perhaps they should look at that.
 
caramel said:
I did a search and found a few anecdotes about some Millennials. I also found this study which showed the opposite, that Millennials are more concerned about their parents' retirement than they are about their inheritance. So it depends on who you're asking, it seems to me.

The idea of the entitled Millennials, from what I've seen, comes across as more like myth to me. I'm sure there are entitled people from every generation.

Millennials care more about their parents' retirement than their own inheritance​

"Whether or not it's deserved, millennials have a reputation for being entitled. But when it comes to their parents' finances, the younger cohort may be a lot less selfish than people think.

According to a new study by Edward Jones, the St. Louis-based mega-brokerage, most Gen Y Americans, as millennials are also known, care deeply about whether their parents can afford a comfortable retirement. In fact, they emphasize this priority over their own inheritance.

The study, which Edward Jones conducted with the research firms Age Wave and The Harris Poll, surveyed over 12,000 adults across the U.S. and Canada. Of the millennial respondents, defined as those now aged 27 to 42, a solid majority — 68% — said they were worried their parents hadn't saved enough money for a healthy retirement. And an even larger majority — 83% — said securing that retirement was more important to them than inheriting their parents' wealth."

Millennials care more about their parents' retirement than their own inheritance
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This squares with my experience of Millennials, including my own children. They encourage us to travel, vacation and enjoy life.

Like @OneEyedDiva's, our long term savings are primarily a cushion in case DH and/or I require expensive long term care. If not, those savings will be part of our children's inheritance. DH & I both received nice inheritances from our parents and desire/expect to do likewise for our children.

Our children and grandchildren are the joys of our lives. Our kids are all gainfully employed, responsible adults who are willing to help us with whatever we need without being asked twice. They'll oversee our care should we begin to fail mentally or physically.
Why wouldn't we want to ease their path somewhat if we could?
 
My three kids, now all married adults with kids of their own, understand to expect nothing from us when we are gone. We had nothing when we married in 1970 as did our parents and the parents before them. Life is about earning your own way and becoming your own person. They all have good educations; accordingly, they have gone forth and multiplied and they are earning their own way.

I consider it 'mission accomplished"!
 
Timewise 60+ said:
My three kids, now all married adults with kids of their own, understand to expect nothing from us when we are gone. We had nothing when we married in 1970 as did our parents and the parents before them. Life is about earning your own way and becoming your own person. They all have good educations; accordingly, they have gone forth and multiplied and they are earning their own way.

I consider it 'mission accomplished"!
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I think a little differently... this is just me I don't believe anyone should feel they have to do this... but my parents had nothing when they married, they continued to have nothing all throughout their marriage,.. when I married we had nothing, just my then husbands' low Naval pay....

..and we had the baby, and so I robbed Peter to pay Paul, working all sorts of jobs during the first years of my DD's life once she went to shool, to ensure she had things I never had as a child. I didn't want her to be the only kid in class who couldn't go on the school trip.. or the only one with holes in her shoes.. or the only kid whose parents wouldn't buy her musical instruments when she was in the school bands.. I wanted the very opposite for her , and as ultimately a (divorced) single parent, I chose to go without myself, so she could have all she needed..

She went on to make a good living for herself, because I was able to afford to let her stay on at school, and then college.. which was all denied to me as a kid....

... but now, I still feel some sense of guilt.. that she could have had an even better life, if only her father had been involved in her life .. ( he wasn't after she got to about 14... )... and so I feel guilty...and I MEAN very guilty.. if I don't keep most of my money to leave to her... . I wish I didn't feel like this.. sense tells me that now she has more than I have.. but I can't rid myself of the feeling that I need to keep it for her...just in case she needs it...
 
I try to be a good steward of my mom's assets and my own. Sometimes you need to spend though to care for yourself or loved one. I hope there will be money left at the end of the day but who knows for sure. I don't think my kids have any expectations, but they are in good shape financially in their own right.
 
I'm a recent widow, as most of you know, and I've had to make some decision in the last 7 months that I never gave any thought to before.

My decisions have not come easily for me but with legal advice, good friends, and a lot of discussion on this forum, I am not leaving anything to neither my son or my step-kids. They all abandoned me in my darkest days and I couldn't count on any of them for comfort, help, or advice.

So, I'm spending "our" money on what will make me happy and I know my late husband will approve.
 
Boomers with money who are friends or relatives of mine invested in their kids rather than set aside a large inheritance.

They paid their college/university tuition, bought them their first house, helped them start a business...that sort of thing. Mainly because their financial advisors told them the value of cash is tenuous.
 
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I thank God my adult children are not waiting around for an inheritance. They will be sadly disappointed.
I am enjoying what I have. My husb and I have raised them to the best of our ability. They used their inheritance up when we raised them. This is why parents may want to be silent as to what they will leave their children. Put it in a Will and be done - that's what I plan on doing with what's left. I have a friend tell me, she plan on spending what she has and enjoying herself. Do they have a Senior parent living inheritance set up for their parents if they need help as they age??
🤣🤣🤣

Had to edit due to reading JuJube post. Being that my daughter is pregnant with a little girl, she will get what's left. My husb and I helped the kids a great deal.
 
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Della said:
It's impossible to spend your kid's inheritance because it's not their inheritance until you're dead. They should expect nothing.

That said, unless something really unexpected comes up, we'll be leaving my (only) son a very large amount and he is already on the title of our house. He lives with us and has a health condition which might cause him to have to quit working at some point and his medication is very expensive.

I always told my father to spend as much of his money as he could before he died and I do think he was trying -- the last few years he was buying a new car every few months. He said nothing else made him as happy. Even so, he had enough left for me to buy all new furniture and I like looking at it and knowing he bought it for me.
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Love your post!! That's the way I feel about the house my husb and I have. I feel his brother made it possible (may he RIP). I send him a thank you every now and then through the universe. ❤️❤️
 
If there's anything left when I shuffle off this mortal coil, it's mostly going to my great-granddaughters for college or getting started out in life.

We gave my daughter all of what she needed and a great portion of what she wanted, helped her through college, paid for a big wedding, paid for the divorce a few years later. She and her present husband make a sh!t load of money and he just inherited a big chunk, so they're set.

My granddaughter's husband has an excellent job and she has some educational side-gigs here and there and will return to full-time teaching when the little one is in first grade.

So the great-grands get most of it or what spare change is left. I'm not going to go crazy, but I'm also not going to stint myself, either.

Postscript: Everyone knows about the arrangement and is fine with it.
 
jujube said:
If there's anything left when I shuffle off this mortal coil, it's mostly going to my great-granddaughters for college or getting started out in life.

We gave my daughter all of what she needed and a great portion of what she wanted, helped her through college, paid for a big wedding, paid for the divorce a few years later. She and her present husband make a sh!t load of money and he just inherited a big chunk, so they're set.

My granddaughter's husband has an excellent job and she has some educational side-gigs here and there and will return to full-time teaching when the little one is in first grade.

So the great-grands get most of it or what spare change is left. I'm not going to go crazy, but I'm also not going to stint myself, either.
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Thank you for the reminder. My daughter is preg with a little girl. She will more than likely get what's left. My husb and I helped my daughter quite a bit.
 
RadishRose said:
@Trish, no criticism to you. It IS an interesting subject and I'm sorry if I offended you. Sometimes Millennials irk me, but mostly I adore them. I guess it's the word "squander" in the article you read that rubbed me the wrong way. :)
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No worries, I wasn't offended at all. Sorry if it came across that way. :)

The report used the heading with squander in it. I thought it was quite amusing to think of two pensioners off partying and spending while their offspring shake their heads in dismay.

I enjoy the company of younger people, it's nice to get a different outlook and I personally have not witnessed any anomosity between the generations but, I guess, it fills up column inches in the press ;)
 
I remember having lunch with one of my sisters years ago. She was complaining that our parents were out spending HER inheritance by travelling to Australia each winter for 3 months. She thought they should just stay home all winter and stop spending so much money on themselves.

Fast forward 20 years and the sister is dead and yet my Mom is still spending HER inheritance on nursing care because she's 103 years old and needs extra support now. Strange how things work out sometimes isn't it?
 
Trish said:
Recently there have been several articles concerning (mostly) Millenials worrying about Baby Boomer parents spending "their" inheritance on luxury holidays and expensive lifestyles which, they fear, is draining their inheritance. My question is, should adult children's expectation of an inheritance really stretch to worrying that their parents are spending "their" money?
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"Their" inheritance? LOL The trouble with some millennials is that they look at it as an entitlement. They shouldn't "expect" anything! It's up to the parents how they choose to spend their money. The parents raised their children into adulthood. Let them enjoy their golden years. The kids should be wise to save for their own old age.

When I shop and spend a ton of money, someone in line or the cashier comments that I must have a large family. My comeback is, "No, this is just how I chose to spend my kids inheritance!" Shuts them right up.
 

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