Bread Nazi

Ameriscot said:
The first time my sister went to a new exercise class, she picked a spot with her mat, etc. in this very big room. A lady came in and told her to move as she was in HER spot! And this was a seniors class.
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Exactly...and there are always a couple that tell you that you are doing something the wrong way or need to ...:confused: Feel like telling them to get a life. But, thankfully they are in the minority. Still it makes me avoid senior group things. Except for this forum of course. Do not agree or feel comfortable with someone or something...just read something else :bigwink:
 

Nona, I have found many middle-aged people with the same attitude also. Probably one reason I avoid group things for the most part, regardless of the age of the people involved. Except for poetry of course. We poets are all quite mad, and very tolerant (oblivious) of each other's eccentricities. Lol.
 
True Nona and Shali. Some people are right about everything and need to prove it by pointing out everyone else's flaws.
 

hollydolly said:
I'm kind of perplexed here isn't this supposed to be some advice to the Op on how to deal with someone in a supermarket?...how did it get to personal attacks? :dunno:
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Hollydolly, the personal attacks on this thread are gone, Debodun wanted feedback on a controlling woman at her church. Back to the original topic, I agree with Nona that some seniors can try to control the lives of others if they feel they are losing control over their own. My mother in law was very controlling, and wanted people to do everything her way. It was difficult because she was a good woman and was slowly losing her health and power over the things in her life. Mostly affected were my husband, my father in law and myself. We dealt with her in a kind way, and sometimes had to explain to her that decisions were ours to make, although we appreciated her input. Likely the same way with the lady Debodun is dealing with.
 
Ameriscot said:
The first time my sister went to a new exercise class, she picked a spot with her mat, etc. in this very big room. A lady came in and told her to move as she was in HER spot! And this was a seniors class.
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Oh I've experienced that type of thing too Annie. I remember years ago when village pubs were generally just where locals gathered to drink, and often if you visited a pub in a different village or even small town, and sat down you'd get the silent treatment (like in the film 'American werewolf in London'' when the 2 American guys entered the Slaughtered Lamb and the whole place fell silent at the nerve of these strangers coming into the pub..)...and then after a few minutes of staring someone would pipe up in a grim admonishing voice ''you're sitting in Bills' seat'':rolleyes:
 
Debodun, something to block her voice out? I use that tatic at times, listen to NPR.so people will not talk to me. Think the consensus is, since you have tried to explain/reason with her, just ignore her ???
 
ndynt said:
Debodun, something to block her voice out? I use that tatic at times, listen to NPR.so people will not talk to me. Think the consensus is, since you have tried to explain/reason with her, just ignore her ???
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That would be a good idea. Wear headphones and listen to, or pretend to be listening to something. Of course, there are many people who will speak to you even though you obviously can't hear them due to earpods. I get that at the gym all the time with the seniors who don't use earpods.
 
ndynt said:
I have encountered these behaviors in many senior settings. Exercise groups, classes for seniors, senior centers. I have come to the conclusion that many seniors become territorial because we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives have become controlled by fate. So some need to retain some semblance of control by controlling everything around them. I too have a hard time dealing with people like this and find just ignoring them is the only recourse.
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Precisely! I'd noticed this, to a degree, in Senior Activity Centers. But then I made the mistake of moving in to a new "over-50" apartment complex ... all sorts of goodies within the complex ... beautifully appointed, etc. Soon one finds out that the gossip and cliques inside senior complexes are every bit as mean-spirited and nasty as the gossip and cliques of teen-agers. I've pretty much passed on any of the "doings" here other than a few close neighbors. It's sad, really.
 
Let's face it... If people are nasty, self centered, egotistical when the are young.. they will be that way when they are old too. People are people. Don't know why anyone is surprised.. In reality, there are very few "sweet little old ladies or men out there".
 
QuickSilver said:
Let's face it... If people are nasty, self centered, egotistical when the are young.. they will be that way when they are old too. People are people. Don't know why anyone is surprised.. In reality, there are very few "sweet little old ladies or men out there".
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My last job before I retired was working with the elderly. Most were Scottish, some were English. I'd say 90% of them were sweet, the women more than the men.

One of my favourite relatives was a great aunt who never married, and was always so laid back. She always said 'don't worry about it' and very little was a big deal or anything to get angry about. She was always humming.
 
Annie my experience pretty much mirrors yours, until I moved into the Tombs. But I think the atmosphere here has more to do with the "inmates" being strait laced than anything age related. I am certain they were every bit as intolerant when they were younger. Just the luck of the draw really. Other friends live in complexes where the owners are much less uptight. Most older people are lovely.
 
Shalimar said:
Annie my experience pretty much mirrors yours, until I moved into the Tombs. But I think the atmosphere here has more to do with the "inmates" being strait laced than anything age related. I am certain they were every bit as intolerant when they were younger. Just the luck of the draw really. Other friends live in complexes where the owners are much less uptight. Most older people are lovely.
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I think the majority of older folks are lovely. I love riding the bus here where most are on their OAP (over 60) bus pass. Lots of laughter always, even when they complain they laugh about it.
 
Ameriscot said:
My last job before I retired was working with the elderly. Most were Scottish, some were English. I'd say 90% of them were sweet, the women more than the men.

One of my favourite relatives was a great aunt who never married, and was always so laid back. She always said 'don't worry about it' and very little was a big deal or anything to get angry about. She was always humming.
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I had the same experiences, when I worked, Annie. Maybe the ones that accepted anyone coming into their homes were different? Though I did have one Admiral's wife that made me come in the servant's entrance and tried to orchestrate how I gave her the daily IV push. She even had me comb my footprints out of the carpet as I worked my way out LOL. I used to play with her...answering everything she said with a drawly "yes maaam". I was so apprehensive when her husband walked into the room one day. He did not say anything, but winked at me as I left LOL....
 
ndynt said:
I had the same experiences, when I worked, Annie. Maybe the ones that accepted anyone coming into their homes were different? Though I did have one Admiral's wife that made me come in the servant's entrance and tried to orchestrate how I gave her the daily IV push. She even had me comb my footprints out of the carpet as I worked my way out LOL. I used to play with her...answering everything she said with a drawly "yes maaam". I was so apprehensive when her husband walked into the room one day. He did not say anything, but winked at me as I left LOL....
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I worked for an agency and had clients who were in sheltered housing. They wanted to be independent but needed someone on site if they needed help. Some were eligible for carers like me to help them with certain things they couldn't do or to take them shopping, etc. I was more companionship than carer. Nobody with dementia, although some had the beginnings of it. I just loved to hear about life in Scotland decades ago!

One client was just lovely and so interesting. She was 93 when she first became my client. But as her sight and hearing went she became harder and harder to deal with and very demanding. She was frustrated that she couldn't understand everything being said and refused to get a hearing aid.
 
Ameriscot said:
I worked for an agency and had clients who were in sheltered housing. They wanted to be independent but needed someone on site if they needed help. Some were eligible for carers like me to help them with certain things they couldn't do or to take them shopping, etc. I was more companionship than carer. Nobody with dementia, although some had the beginnings of it. I just loved to hear about life in Scotland decades ago!

One client was just lovely and so interesting. She was 93 when she first became my client. But as her sight and hearing went she became harder and harder to deal with and very demanding. She was frustrated that she couldn't understand everything being said and refutsed to get a hearing aid.
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A classic example of losing control of life, is it not Annie? I too so loved listening to my patients reminisce. Learned so much. They were a joy. Now here I am....old too. Thought I would get older, but never old
:crying:
 
Ameriscot said:
I think the majority of older folks are lovely. I love riding the bus here where most are on their OAP (over 60) bus pass. Lots of laughter always, even when they complain they laugh about it.
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Perhaps the older folks YOU have dealt with were "lovely" because they were relatively healthy... My experience is quite different working in hospitals.. Not so "lovely" there..
 
ndynt said:
A classic example of losing control of life, is it not Annie? I too so loved listening to my patients reminisce. Learned so much. They were a joy. Now here I am....old too. Thought I would get older, but never old
:crying:
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Understandable. I wouldn't react well if I could no longer do every activity I want and be fit. I get very frustrated with my memory and I worry about dementia. I can easily see how those with dementia can often get angry.
 
QuickSilver said:
Perhaps the older folks YOU have dealt with were "lovely" because they were relatively healthy... My experience is quite different working in hospitals.. Not so "lovely" there..
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How many are lovely when in a hospital anyway, no matter what their age?
 

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