A Quiet American
@MarciKS< know exactly what you mean about the times growing up... you could tell things were messed up in the family but no one would talk about it ("you are too young to understand", etc), no one would get any help (the stigma of 'seeing a therapist'-- what will ppl think?!) and no one would step in to try any help from outside the family ("It's their private business")well the car is safely at the ford place and i pray all will be well. not sure when i'll get it back.
i am comfort eating right now. the mama kelce pizza bundle from papa john's. the mother of two football stars that i don't know. *shrugs* pizza is good. will probably be the last of it for a while since i will be short on $.
it's still raining and cold but i'm all tucked in eating pizza and all cozy.
after dad passes away and i get through that emotional ordeal i am going to do some looking into finding ways to get some healing from my childhood trauma. the stuff is there just below the surface all the time and it's just too painful to deal with right now. i want to make peace with it before i die though.
i would hate to be miserable for the rest of my life. right now i am gathering reading materials for when i'm ready to sit down and face things. i wish back in the 60s there had been more available to help kids with special issues to get the support they needed as well as places to teach parents how to support the child.
but still i know it would've come down to my parents facing the reality of what was happening and being willing to try to deal with it rather than take it out on me. it was easier and cheaper for them to verbally and mentally abuse me rather than getting help for all of us. instead i was constantly accused of being crazy.
frankly i think it was them that was crazy. what kind of parent mistreats their kid because of a disability they have?
i wish i knew what it was like to be loved. genuinely loved by another human being.
anyway, time to go watch tv. later y'all! *hugs*
As a child, just left to flounder on your own.
I did get help eventually and I'm much healthier now. I hope you can work through all your stuff. It's no fun, but it's worth it. (((hugs)))