Cafe Entre Amis

MarciKS said:
I know many of the members here love to fight about the ins and outs of Covid and everything related. I would like to take a moment to remind everyone that no matter how you feel about the vaccines, the masks, and the distancing...none of it will matter when you get it or someone you love gets it and dies suddenly. Mom was only on the ventilator for a couple days before she left us. She was unable to get the vaccines or the antibody infusion. And the medications they had to use to try to save her life were things she couldn't really take anyway.

The odds were stacked against her from the get go. Dad is irritated with me because I didn't come around more. If I had, he could be mourning 2 deaths right now. I'm not sorry for that. If people choose to "live their lives" because they feel they have to then so be it. I have a life but it doesn't require going out into the world and collecting virus germs as much as I possibly can. I do what I can to protect myself and others around me because it is the sensible thing to do.

I have to walk past patients in the halls at work that have been brought in with Covid. That in itself is terrifying enough. I see the average 3 deaths a week that go by our dept to and from the morgue down the hall. I have to be surrounded by co-workers who've been God knows where doing God knows what when they're not at work and I am at risk of exposure all day every day. I feel it is my duty to help stop the spread as best I can by following the safety measures put into place. For myself as well as staff and patients and anyone else I come in contact with. I only wish others would do the same. I wish they could see it as a good thing...a life saving thing. You can't live your life if your dead. I wouldn't want to know that because of a choice I made that I caused someone's inadvertent death.

I wish people could understand that these vaccines are here as an aide to save lives. Not to make us into guinea pigs. What happens when this thing continues to mutate to the point where there's no saving us? Then what? Will everyone cry out about it then? Then it will be too late. No vaccine is perfect. No vaccine is a cure all. All vaccines have side effects. This one is no different than any other. My father told me that back in 2001 when the SARS thing was here they were working on these vaccines back then. They simply put a rush on it now because it was a matter of life and death. They were trying to do what needed done to save our lives. I am thankful for that. Otherwise I might not be here today.

Not everything that happens in life is some big pharma or political conspiracy. Sometimes things are just what they are. I myself don't know how anyone can feel safe going out in public unvaxxed and unmasked. To me that's far more risky than a little shot. I think the media blows stuff out of proportion on purpose just for the sake of selling it. Why else would none of the media match up?

Anyway, do yourselves a favor, give some thought to what kind of life you want for yourselves and for your loved ones. There's a special on Hulu right now called The First Wave. If you want some idea of what you'd hafta go through in the hospital if they had to vent you and you were dying. I don't want that for me if I can help it. This is as always JMO. Take it or leave it. I only ask that you think it over before you go marching out the door to go have dinner with friends or go to see a movie or travel.
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Well said Marci. Once again I would like to say how sorry I am that you lost your mother to Covid, I can't imagine how your feeling now and how hard it will be to attend her funeral on Friday. Will be thinking of you....hugs.

We both are fully vaccinated plus boosters. We wear masks also while out food shopping, etc. We still distance when indoors. The virus is no joke, things will continue to worsen if people refuse to get vaccinated and wear masks. :( I hope you can stay safe and healthy, I would be very stressed having to work in a hospital environment these days, and I feel for you.
 

SeaBreeze said:
Well said Marci. Once again I would like to say how sorry I am that you lost your mother to Covid, I can't imagine how your feeling now and how hard it will be to attend her funeral on Friday. Will be thinking of you....hugs.

We both are fully vaccinated plus boosters. We wear masks also while out food shopping, etc. We still distance when indoors. The virus is no joke, things will continue to worsen if people refuse to get vaccinated and wear masks. :( I hope you can stay safe and healthy, I would be very stressed having to work in a hospital environment these days, and I feel for you.
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*Hugs*
 
what's worse is knowing that the only thing standing between you and death may be nothing more than a shot. something so small that can mean the difference between life and death. and yet so many are so afraid of the shot their willing to risk their lives over it. some i understand can't for medical reasons. my mom was one of them. if only she had been able to she'd probably still be with us.
 

SeaBreeze said:
Well said Marci. Once again I would like to say how sorry I am that you lost your mother to Covid, I can't imagine how your feeling now and how hard it will be to attend her funeral on Friday. Will be thinking of you....hugs.

We both are fully vaccinated plus boosters. We wear masks also while out food shopping, etc. We still distance when indoors. The virus is no joke, things will continue to worsen if people refuse to get vaccinated and wear masks. :( I hope you can stay safe and healthy, I would be very stressed having to work in a hospital environment these days, and I feel for you.
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if i were in direct care like the drs and nurses i don't think i could deal with it. even at a distance this thing is terrible. we often get family members in the cafeteria who are waiting for a loved one to pass away. we're all stressed. we're all tired. and none of us wants to go through another wave but alas, winter and a new variant are upon us. i wonder how much the healthcare system can take before it breaks down completely.
 
MarciKS said:
if i were in direct care like the drs and nurses i don't think i could deal with it. even at a distance this thing is terrible. we often get family members in the cafeteria who are waiting for a loved one to pass away. we're all stressed. we're all tired. and none of us wants to go through another wave but alas, winter and a new variant are upon us. i wonder how much the healthcare system can take before it breaks down completely.
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I don't think I could handle being a doctor or nurse during this time when Americans are not even working in a united way to stop or at least slow down this deadly virus. I also fear collapse of our healthcare system. Even in your position, I would constantly be emotional and on the verge of crying, I doubt I could keep a position like that either. Heartfelt thanks to all the doctors and nurses, and thanks and appreciation for you Marci, I know you work hard and really care. 💚
 
MarciKS said:
I know many of the members here love to fight about the ins and outs of Covid and everything related. I would like to take a moment to remind everyone that no matter how you feel about the vaccines, the masks, and the distancing...none of it will matter when you get it or someone you love gets it and dies suddenly. Mom was only on the ventilator for a couple days before she left us. She was unable to get the vaccines or the antibody infusion. And the medications they had to use to try to save her life were things she couldn't really take anyway.

The odds were stacked against her from the get go. Dad is irritated with me because I didn't come around more. If I had, he could be mourning 2 deaths right now. I'm not sorry for that. If people choose to "live their lives" because they feel they have to then so be it. I have a life but it doesn't require going out into the world and collecting virus germs as much as I possibly can. I do what I can to protect myself and others around me because it is the sensible thing to do.

I have to walk past patients in the halls at work that have been brought in with Covid. That in itself is terrifying enough. I see the average 3 deaths a week that go by our dept to and from the morgue down the hall. I have to be surrounded by co-workers who've been God knows where doing God knows what when they're not at work and I am at risk of exposure all day every day. I feel it is my duty to help stop the spread as best I can by following the safety measures put into place. For myself as well as staff and patients and anyone else I come in contact with. I only wish others would do the same. I wish they could see it as a good thing...a life saving thing. You can't live your life if your dead. I wouldn't want to know that because of a choice I made that I caused someone's inadvertent death.

I wish people could understand that these vaccines are here as an aide to save lives. Not to make us into guinea pigs. What happens when this thing continues to mutate to the point where there's no saving us? Then what? Will everyone cry out about it then? Then it will be too late. No vaccine is perfect. No vaccine is a cure all. All vaccines have side effects. This one is no different than any other. My father told me that back in 2001 when the SARS thing was here they were working on these vaccines back then. They simply put a rush on it now because it was a matter of life and death. They were trying to do what needed done to save our lives. I am thankful for that. Otherwise I might not be here today.

Not everything that happens in life is some big pharma or political conspiracy. Sometimes things are just what they are. I myself don't know how anyone can feel safe going out in public unvaxxed and unmasked. To me that's far more risky than a little shot. I think the media blows stuff out of proportion on purpose just for the sake of selling it. Why else would none of the media match up?

Anyway, do yourselves a favor, give some thought to what kind of life you want for yourselves and for your loved ones. There's a special on Hulu right now called The First Wave. If you want some idea of what you'd hafta go through in the hospital if they had to vent you and you were dying. I don't want that for me if I can help it. This is as always JMO. Take it or leave it. I only ask that you think it over before you go marching out the door to go have dinner with friends or go to see a movie or travel.
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Marci,
I really think that people should pay a lot of attention to your post. Your view is not hypothetical, it is close up and personal. It is reality.
 
On Nov 16, 2021 my mother went to the ER for dehydration. She had been throwing up and having loose stool for days. On the 17th they had to turn back around and go back to the ER for another bag if fluids. At this point she was tested for Covid because dad already had it. She was sent home to treat the symptoms. Keep in mind she was unable to get vaxxed and unable to take the antibody infusion like dad was. He was getting ready to get his booster when he got it. Mom thought they had gotten it from hospital stays and dr appts. A couple days later they put her in their local hospital for pneumonia. A few days later as a safety precaution they shipped her out of town to a hospital that had a ventilator just in case.

They spent days treating her with new meds they introduced to her system, older ones she had on her allergy list because they were trying to save her life. I believe on Nov 30th they placed her on a ventilator because they no longer had a choice. We weren't able to see her or talk to her because she was simply too sick. On Dec 2 her lungs began to fill with fluid. We were told around 2 pm she wasn't gonna make it. She passed away at 7:30 pm.

My heart is broken because my best friend in the entire world and the woman who made me what I am today is gone. There's a gathering this evening but it's open casket and I am not mentally stable enough to handle looking at her dead body so I have chosen to stay at the house. I've been here with dad since Sun. I'm helping him with things around the house. I've cleared out what I can in her room. I'm taking her clothes home with me and I will box them up and take them to the salvation army when I return. I will be going home Sun. to tend to my own grief. He won't let me comfort him and he isn't strong enough to comfort me. So I've been holding on to this grief all week. I will go home Sunday and deal with my own heartbreak before I return to work. Right now I just feel lost. And horribly alone.
 
MarciKS said:
On Nov 16, 2021 my mother went to the ER for dehydration. She had been throwing up and having loose stool for days. On the 17th they had to turn back around and go back to the ER for another bag if fluids. At this point she was tested for Covid because dad already had it. She was sent home to treat the symptoms. Keep in mind she was unable to get vaxxed and unable to take the antibody infusion like dad was. He was getting ready to get his booster when he got it. Mom thought they had gotten it from hospital stays and dr appts. A couple days later they put her in their local hospital for pneumonia. A few days later as a safety precaution they shipped her out of town to a hospital that had a ventilator just in case.

They spent days treating her with new meds they introduced to her system, older ones she had on her allergy list because they were trying to save her life. I believe on Nov 30th they placed her on a ventilator because they no longer had a choice. We weren't able to see her or talk to her because she was simply too sick. On Dec 2 her lungs began to fill with fluid. We were told around 2 pm she wasn't gonna make it. She passed away at 7:30 pm.

My heart is broken because my best friend in the entire world and the woman who made me what I am today is gone. There's a gathering this evening but it's open casket and I am not mentally stable enough to handle looking at her dead body so I have chosen to stay at the house. I've been here with dad since Sun. I'm helping him with things around the house. I've cleared out what I can in her room. I'm taking her clothes home with me and I will box them up and take them to the salvation army when I return. I will be going home Sun. to tend to my own grief. He won't let me comfort him and he isn't strong enough to comfort me. So I've been holding on to this grief all week. I will go home Sunday and deal with my own heartbreak before I return to work. Right now I just feel lost. And horribly alone.
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Marci,

I am so very sorry for the incredible pain that you are going through.

Pecos
 
MarciKS said:
On Nov 16, 2021 my mother went to the ER for dehydration. She had been throwing up and having loose stool for days. On the 17th they had to turn back around and go back to the ER for another bag if fluids. At this point she was tested for Covid because dad already had it. She was sent home to treat the symptoms. Keep in mind she was unable to get vaxxed and unable to take the antibody infusion like dad was. He was getting ready to get his booster when he got it. Mom thought they had gotten it from hospital stays and dr appts. A couple days later they put her in their local hospital for pneumonia. A few days later as a safety precaution they shipped her out of town to a hospital that had a ventilator just in case.

They spent days treating her with new meds they introduced to her system, older ones she had on her allergy list because they were trying to save her life. I believe on Nov 30th they placed her on a ventilator because they no longer had a choice. We weren't able to see her or talk to her because she was simply too sick. On Dec 2 her lungs began to fill with fluid. We were told around 2 pm she wasn't gonna make it. She passed away at 7:30 pm.

My heart is broken because my best friend in the entire world and the woman who made me what I am today is gone. There's a gathering this evening but it's open casket and I am not mentally stable enough to handle looking at her dead body so I have chosen to stay at the house. I've been here with dad since Sun. I'm helping him with things around the house. I've cleared out what I can in her room. I'm taking her clothes home with me and I will box them up and take them to the salvation army when I return. I will be going home Sun. to tend to my own grief. He won't let me comfort him and he isn't strong enough to comfort me. So I've been holding on to this grief all week. I will go home Sunday and deal with my own heartbreak before I return to work. Right now I just feel lost. And horribly alone.
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((Gentle hugs))
 
just as a side note...if any of you get covid and are able to take the antibody infusion i would strongly suggest it. dad had it done. he was over his covid in nothing flat. it is experimental unlike the vaccines. but it could mean the difference between life and death.

goodnite.
 
Sincere hug from me Marci.

ecards-thinking-of-you-at-this-difficult-time--master_380x304.jpg
 
Thanks girls. I feel horrible leaving dad all by himself tomorrow but, he isn't interested in me moving back to the area where I can be closer and stuff because he knows it's not financially wise for me to do so. He's concerned for my future. Last night he was crying and saying something about wishing he could've gone with her and now he was gonna be all alone. Killed me to sit there and witness that. He's lost the love of his life and there's nothing I can do to make it any better. I will simply have to let go and let him deal with it his own way.

He put on these dress shoes he hadn't worn for years and at the funeral home he thought he'd drug mud into the room. He got home and there was more of it on the carpet. We picked it up and it wasn't mud. His shoes were literally falling apart. After my brother and his wife left I looked at dad and I said "you know if mom were here she'd be laughing her ass off at the shoe situation." We both got a little chuckle out of that. It was a hard day. Not the last I'm sure. I'm gonna try to let him know if he needs me to let me know. And if he gets lonely he can always call and we can visit a little. Neither of us has been very hungry. I think it worries him because I don't talk as much as I used to. I've asked a couple people in the community if they could kinda keep an eye on him or help him with stuff if he needs it. He might not ask cuz he's stubborn.

I miss home. I miss my bed. Dad has the heat at 75 & if I didn't know better I'd swear I was melting. :LOL:
I did a little more cleaning and mailed his bills and picked up the mail and went to the store for a few things. Tomorrow I'll do the last load of wash and strip mom's bed. Then I'll make it back up & open the room back up so the cats can come in again. It's bothered the cats that mom's room is closed and someone is in there. They need to see she's not there.

Take care of yourselves.
 
Your dad is very fortunate to have you, in his life,
even though you don't live closer. Plus, You sure have done some good things for him while you are there, even though neither of you can feel happy about that at the moment, but those were still great things to do. Such as just being with him, while he let out some of his sadness. That is priceless and will help him, even though nothing is easy now.
Also those tasks you have been doing. Each one is something hard for him, that he doesn't need to do. Plus, he knows he wasn't alone, during this whole time.

You do need to go home. I am very sorry that things happened this way. For all of you.
 
The sad thing is dad & us kids were never close. We never really bonded so it's terribly awkward. I hate to say it but I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow.
 

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