Cherishing Our Time Here On Earth, and Not Wasting It Dwelling on the Past or Fearing the Future

I admire everybody for coping and finding fulfillment. That's why I think a non-profit would be good for me. I need a job with meaning. I don't know if it's depression or just being realistic, but the past sucks and the future scares me to pieces. Living in the day is important. Trying to be optimistic is important. There was a therapy group I used to attend. The focus was always "How are we feeling today? No, for real, how are we feeling today?".

Maybe it's my manly strong and silent side but yeah that was it. You get so used to stuffing feelings you don't feel. It's pinpointing at least to yourself...this afternoon was great, last night not so much.
 

Cookie said:
You are very brave Underock and and extremely fortunate to have had those many years with your beloved wife. Crying does hurt a lot, but it also heals. All the best to you.
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Thank you for your kind words and wishes, Cookie. Bravery is often just a matter of having to face up to the inescapable.
Most people would have seen each of us as unremarkable individuals, but together we created a wonderful life. It certainly gave us everything that we ever hoped for. No complaints.
 
Glad you are coping so well, Underock. Thinking about the good times and being grateful is a good idea.
 

Meditation is a great way to learn to control your constantly wandering mind. Takes a long time though. Many think meditation means you just sit and empty your mind. Good luck. You try to focus on breathing and when thoughts come in you briefly look at them and then let them float away, refocusing on your breathing. Makes it easier to concentrate and well as making you calmer and more mindful.
 
Not feeling like I have to stick with it makes it easy for me to do - when I feel like it with no regular routine and no particular goal in mind, except to relax and enjoy some quiet time.
 
I do this technique twice a day. Over the years it has helped me through some rough times. Besides, it is fun to drive your doctor nuts by playing with your heart rate and blood pressure during visits. Lolol.
 
Shali, you must be a very, very calm person!

Cookie, I've read tips on meditation and some say don't force yourself to do it, but just go ahead and sit and relax without thinking about doing it properly. I've got a really nice seiza bench so I can get into a comfy position. There's a chant I like to do or just listen to which is soothing. Found it on Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village website:

http://plumvillage.org/
 
Thanks, AS. That bench sounds very nice, I might try and find something like that. I'm pretty satisfied with what I do now as I'm pretty much only interested in a secular lifestyle (not religious, not groupie and not enlightenment bound - done that and been there). But I think that technique is the most enjoyable one I have tried so far.
 
Cookie said:
Thanks, AS. That bench sounds very nice, I might try and find something like that. I'm pretty satisfied with what I do now as I'm pretty much only interested in a secular lifestyle (not religious, not groupie and not enlightenment bound - done that and been there). But I think that technique is the most enjoyable one I have tried so far.
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I just take Buddhist practices that I like and I do like reading about it, but I'd never be able to label myself a Buddhist.
 
Cookie said:
I like the reading too, especially Dalai Lama's books. I like your attitude. :)
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I'm a big fan of Thich Nhat Hanh. :) The good thing about Buddhism is you can do the practices and read the books and still be a Catholic, or Jewish or whatever. I don't call it a religion because there is no deity.
 
That's great that you have that and it seems to work for you. I think I have become tired of all the 'teachings', gurus and practices and just want to go my own way - with a little sitting and watching my breath once in a while, no regimen, no discipline or rules. Sweet!
 
You guys are my kind of Buddhists. I never got into any of the formal practices or even bothered to look into them. I just sort of stumbled on Buddha himself while following my curious nose. Almost every teaching or "saying" attributed to him resonated with me. When I "meditate", its usually in bed. I just let it all go and see myself as just existing in place as part of the universe. I do pay attention to my breathing, but I don't do anything special. Works for me. I also watched some tapes on You Tube by "Zenchantment" that helped me escape during our roughest time.
 
Cookie said:
That's great that you have that and it seems to work for you. I think I have become tired of all the 'teachings', gurus and practices and just want to go my own way - with a little sitting and watching my breath once in a while, no regimen, no discipline or rules. Sweet!
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That's the best way.
 
I hate rules. I like sanity, though I am proof it is cureable. Lol. . I certainly am not always calm, but breathing can help me slow my heart rate, and lower my bloodpressure. Otherwise I can become too intense/overloaded at the wrong time.
 
Shalimar said:
I hate rules. I like sanity, though I am proof it is cureable. Lol. . I certainly am not always calm, but breathing can help me slow my heart rate, and lower my bloodpressure. Otherwise I can become too intense/overloaded at the wrong time.
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Just remembering to think about your breathing is a good thing. I have an app on my phone that rings a bell every hour or so and it reminds me to think about my breathing.
 
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