Childhood play and growing up... this one sucker-punched me hard

Damaged Goods said:
So many rate college as the happiest of their young lives while high school was angst-ridden.

For me, high school rocked while college was pure business because the school's located in the same city where I lived with parents and brother. No dorm, no pep rallies, no social life there. They didn't even have a football team, just hoops and baseball.

Went like this: classes in the morning then rush down to the grocery store where I worked in the meat dept. until 9pm. Mon-Fri.
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A smidgeon of angst visited me upon entering junior-high, but it didn't last long, a few weeks maybe, and from that point on I was good to go.
 

asp3 said:
I don't want to detract from the current line of conversation that's going on, but the picture isn't resonating with me the same way it is for others. My reaction is that my life has been filled with a lot of last times for all sorts of things some known and some unknown and not even recognized. I thought that what happened with me is my play evolved into different areas such as playing board games, making home movies or doing photography, developing the film and printing it together. As we grew up our "play" changed.

It might also be because I didn't have a core group of childhood friends. I just did the math and we moved at least 7 times between the time I was born and the time I was 15. Two of the last three moves took me to the same area in different houses but there was a third move to another area for six months.

So I think my life has had lots of lasts that I had to move past because that's just what was happening in my life. Also I have always been one of the shy kids so I wasn't quick to get a lot of new friends, but found a few that I spent time with. Some were very good and over the last week I've had the opportunity to "see" two of the ones from my teenage years and beyond on a Zoom meeting in celebration of my mom.

There are things that I thought I would never stop doing or never stop enjoying in my teens and 20's that I no longer do or no longer interest me. I don't think I'm one who holds a nostalgic grip on my past and the people, events and things that were part of it. I look back on them fondly but generally don't feel a sense of loss or longing for them. They are part of what's brought me to this point in my life that I'm enjoying very much because of them but without them.
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I always welcome any/all perspectives when I post a thread.

I appreciate hearing from on this, Asp.
 
asp3 said:
I don't want to detract from the current line of conversation that's going on, but the picture isn't resonating with me the same way it is for others. My reaction is that my life has been filled with a lot of last times for all sorts of things some known and some unknown and not even recognized. I thought that what happened with me is my play evolved into different areas such as playing board games, making home movies or doing photography, developing the film and printing it together. As we grew up our "play" changed.

It might also be because I didn't have a core group of childhood friends. I just did the math and we moved at least 7 times between the time I was born and the time I was 15. Two of the last three moves took me to the same area in different houses but there was a third move to another area for six months.

So I think my life has had lots of lasts that I had to move past because that's just what was happening in my life. Also I have always been one of the shy kids so I wasn't quick to get a lot of new friends, but found a few that I spent time with. Some were very good and over the last week I've had the opportunity to "see" two of the ones from my teenage years and beyond on a Zoom meeting in celebration of my mom.

There are things that I thought I would never stop doing or never stop enjoying in my teens and 20's that I no longer do or no longer interest me. I don't think I'm one who holds a nostalgic grip on my past and the people, events and things that were part of it. I look back on them fondly but generally don't feel a sense of loss or longing for them. They are part of what's brought me to this point in my life that I'm enjoying very much because of them but without them.
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Gee, Asp, I just read a brief article about Ronald Regean's mom and they too moved several times, and at least 3 of those moves took them to the same area in different houses. You have fine company here.
 

Lewkat said:
I was full of angst all through high school and bucked authority wherever and whenever I possibly could. Six months into nursing school and my parents couldn't believe I was the same person. What a humbling experience that was and made me into the nurse I became.
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Lew, your post reminded me of my own nature to buck authority in school.

If I were to strain, and I do mean strain, I may be able to come up with a handful of teachers I respected and liked, as for the rest, the old saying... "if you've got nothing good to say, don't say anything at all", applies to me. :)
 
Aunt Marg said:
When I read this it took my breath away, and I felt a sadness deep inside like I haven't felt in a long time. I must say that I sat in shock for a moment. It really caught me off guard.
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I had an experience like that too, several years ago I discovered the facebook page for the horse stable that I'd ridden at for many years when I was younger and had so many wonderful memories, and then reading facebook I came to realize ALL of the horses of my generation had passed away.
 
HoneyNut said:
I had an experience like that too, several years ago I discovered the facebook page for the horse stable that I'd ridden at for many years when I was younger and had so many wonderful memories, and then reading facebook I came to realize ALL of the horses of my generation had passed away.
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Awww...

Makes me wonder if we as humans aren't genetically programmed to afford us somewhat of a buffer to allow ourselves to progress through life... through the ages, to be less cognizant of all things and every detail related to.

They missed me on the assembly-line though if such is the case.
 
I remember like it was yesterday calling my girlfriends to see if they wanted to play. We had a party line and my mom warned me not to stay on the line to long. Generally all it amounted to was, "can you play?" which was answered with, a no or a yes. If the answer was no it was followed by the reason. I have to help my mom, or I have to go uptown shopping with my mom. When they did say yes the time was given and how long they could play.
I would walk down our dirt road to meet them. We jammed as much fun as we could into those play hours.
In a blink of an eye those times were gone and some of them as well.
These holidays I sit at our dining room table with just the remainder of my family thinking back to the days when my dad made blocks of wood to put under the kitchen table because we would bring it into the dining room for more space and with the blocks it made the table the same height as the dining room table.
Every Christmas when I put the decorations away I wonder who will not be seeing them next year. Maybe me. Who knows.
So until then I will enjoy what's left of my family and the new little members who make any day special.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I remember like it was yesterday calling my girlfriends to see if they wanted to play. We had a party line and my mom warned me not to stay on the line to long. Generally all it amounted to was, "can you play?" which was answered with, a no or a yes. If the answer was no it was followed by the reason. I have to help my mom, or I have to go uptown shopping with my mom. When they did say yes the time was given and how long they could play.
I would walk down our dirt road to meet them. We jammed as much fun as we could into those play hours.
In a blink of an eye those times were gone and some of them as well.
These holidays I sit at our dining room table with just the remainder of my family thinking back to the days when my dad made blocks of wood to put under the kitchen table because we would bring it into the dining room for more space and with the blocks it made the table the same height as the dining room table.
Every Christmas when I put the decorations away I wonder who will not be seeing them next year. Maybe me. Who knows.
So until then I will enjoy what's left of my family and the new little members who make any day special.
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You took a page straight out of my book, Ruth! :)

A lovely read.

Reflecting on my own childhood, I remember when my baby siblings were babies and little, friends and family of my parents would come to our house for a visit with their children who were also babies and little.

The years passed by, and slowly everyone go older, moved onto other things in life, and like a rubber-band being stretched to it's end, the rubber-band eventually gave way and snapped, and I remember visits became less frequent, family gatherings became smaller, and by the time I had reached my teen years, it was a rarity when my family got together with other family.

Then came graduation, find a job, then I got married, and then babies followed. Those years were so busy and full, I never gave any thought as to the whole "one day" thing. One day the kids will be gone, one day I'll be old, one day, one day.

Here I am now fast approaching 60, and as much as I try and not allow the past to haunt me, it still does.

I, too, try and live for each day, and I think I do well in that regard, but my overactive mind reminds me regularly of how it was back in the day, and all sorts of other little things. So hard to let some stuff go. So hard to not think about it.
 
@Aunt Marg I'm 75 and it doesn't get any easier.
A friend of mine was going to visit my daughter at Christmas. I was really happy about that because I figured I'd bring her gift to my daughters home and that would be that.
My friend called me and said she wasn't going because of the virus. I totally understood but then she asked if it was alright to come to our house at some point which is much closer so we can exchange gifts. I understood that also, my hubby and I rarely go out which would be less of a threat.
I immediately thought, now I have to make dinner, clean the house and keep the Christmas decorations up.
Then I realized how lucky I am to still have her as my friend and that making dinner and doing a little bit extra should be a pleasure rather than an annoyance.
Now I'm looking forward to her visit and an enjoyable evening after the new year. Maybe next year we won't be together.
 
Aunt Marg said:
You know, Lew, life in many ways goes by at warp speed, one minute we're kids, the next we're out of our childhood homes embarking upon our own paths and journeys, and before you know it, 50, 60, 70 (plus) years have passed, prompting one to ask themselves, where did all the years go.

I can't help but think of Gary's, words. So many lasts that we have experienced and lived through, with more to come.
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I agree Aunt Marge, and I loved Gary's photo and saying. Time does fly, and I like to try and follow this advice. 'Cherish the moment, it will soon be gone', 'Don't waste precious time regreting or feeling guilty about the past, it's gone and that just takes away from your appreciation of the present', Don't worry too much about tomorrow, you lose your memories of today, and many times worry was for nothing'.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I agree Aunt Marge, and I loved Gary's photo and saying. Time does fly, and I like to try and follow this advice. 'Cherish the moment, it will soon be gone', 'Don't waste precious time regreting or feeling guilty about the past, it's gone and that just takes away from your appreciation of the present', Don't worry too much about tomorrow, you lose your memories of today, and many times worry was for nothing'.
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Always helps talking with others about things like this.

Thanks for your words, SeaBreeze.

Love your post.
 
Aunt Marg said:
You know, Lew, life in many ways goes by at warp speed, one minute we're kids, the next we're out of our childhood homes embarking upon our own paths and journeys, and before you know it, 50, 60, 70 (plus) years have passed, prompting one to ask themselves, where did all the years go.

I can't help but think of Gary's, words. So many lasts that we have experienced and lived through, with more to come.
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I sadly think of how many family get-togethers I have missed because of all our moves across the Country and abroad...my fault entirely as I made the decision to move on in 1962 and landed in Germany for three years. I think of my first born daughter often who died while we lived in Germany leaving only my husband and I to mourn.
 
Ruby Rose said:
I sadly think of how many family get-togethers I have missed because of all our moves across the Country and abroad...my fault entirely as I made the decision to move on in 1962 and landed in Germany for three years. I think of my first born daughter often who died while we lived in Germany leaving only my husband and I to mourn.
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I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter, Ruby.

Moving around has been, and never would have been something I would have considered, not even a little.

I'm of the type that needs my roots set.
 
This thread took me back to 4th grade and a girl I was very friendly with from when I was 4yrs old. Her name was Joanne and she died suddenly from Cancer. I remember the Nun telling us in class the day she passed away. Of course, I started crying and I was afraid the Nun would holler at me, but then I looked at the girl sitting next to me and she was also crying. So I thought to myself if Mary is crying then I guess it was ok for me to cry also because Mary was the Nun's favorite girl in my classroom. I still think of Joanne after all these years.
 
Sassycakes said:
This thread took me back to 4th grade and a girl I was very friendly with from when I was 4yrs old. Her name was Joanne and she died suddenly from Cancer. I remember the Nun telling us in class the day she passed away. Of course, I started crying and I was afraid the Nun would holler at me, but then I looked at the girl sitting next to me and she was also crying. So I thought to myself if Mary is crying then I guess it was ok for me to cry also because Mary was the Nun's favorite girl in my classroom. I still think of Joanne after all these years.
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I find now that I'm older, so much of life's past, haunts me. I find myself thinking about my past lived days more and more all the time.

I never bought into the old saying, "life is short", when I was younger, but I sure buy into it now.

So many people who were are a big part of my life when I was young and growing are gone now, and it's a reminder for us to live each day as though it is our last.
 
debodun said:
My mom took this photo of the neighborhood kids waiting for the school bus one morning. Don't know what happened to most of them or even remember who some of them were (I'm on the far right). From the look of things I'd say around 1962 or 63.

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Boy, just knowing the date of this photo, reality tells me one or two (possibly more) in the picture are no longer around.

Thanks for posting, Deb.
 
I can totally relate sometimes when i look back i have to think about it before remembering a last name etc.
I at one time plugged various names into Facebook on a chance i could see where some maybe.

I got in touch with a BF from high school and asked if she wanted to do lunch ( pre- pandemic) and she responded "NO , I think we are too different based on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,," her looking over friends I had on Facebook guess they were not her cup of tea but really made me sad she was like that....... Makes me sad that you really can't go back.
 
Jeni said:
I can totally relate sometimes when i look back i have to think about it before remembering a last name etc.
I at one time plugged various names into Facebook on a chance i could see where some maybe.

I got in touch with a BF from high school and asked if she wanted to do lunch ( pre- pandemic) and she responded "NO , I think we are too different based on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,," her looking over friends I had on Facebook guess they were not her cup of tea but really made me sad she was like that....... Makes me sad that you really can't go back.
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You are so right, Jeni, it never really is the same.

One thing I will say and I'm hoping it helps pick your spirits up, you are, and were more of a person that your BF will ever be, in that you reached out and graciously looked to meet with her, and in her shutting you down so absolute and matter-a-fact like, just goes to show what little class she has.

Look yourself in the mirror and be proud of who and what you are. :)
 
Aunt Marg said:
I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter, Ruby.

Moving around has been, and never would have been something I would have considered, not even a little.

I'm of the type that needs my roots set.
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Thank you for your kind words. What happened was that I was engaged to a military guy and the Army posted him to Germany. So we decided to get married in Germany....and the rest is history. If I had my druthers, I would not have moved so many times as I truly missed my big boisterous family...always.
 
Reading this again brought back another sad memory from my past. When I was 15yrs old I became friends with a girl in my class. She invited me to spend Sunday with her and her friends. There were seven of us there that day. One was a boy that is my husband. All of the other 5 have passed away.4 of them were even in my wedding party. None of them even made it to their 40's.
 

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