Children ‘Screaming’ in Stores

[Traveler]

Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot. I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!

Robusta, be glad, very glad, that I was not present when that happened. My instinct would have been to lay you out. I would have then pressed charges for child abuse. Maybe I'd also have been arrested, but it would have been worth it.

 

[Keesha]

Thank you my friend :heart:

 

[Bee]

You were attacked by him because you stood up to his egregious comments re children with disabilities which may cause them to act out in public. These children should not have to be locked away simply because some adults are inconvenienced by them. Totally understandable that you reacted as you did. Also, for some, it seems to be ok to criticise other countries, yet any criticism of America is viewed as tabu. Double standard. Bullying tactic.

Thankyou Shalimar, much appreciated.

 

[Pam]

The original post was about a child in a shopping cart that won't stop screaming but seems to have morphed into behaviour/criticism of children in general and of course parents of today! If the child is in a shopping cart then it indicates this is a toddler or younger. An age where perhaps the 'look' from a parent doesn't work and ignoring a tantrum or outburst is probably the best solution.

Regarding children with autism etc. and the comment that children who 'lack normal control mechanisms' be kept at home/left with a sitter/child minder when you venture out in public..... I find that disgusting. But putting that aside and just thinking about leaving children at home while you 'venture out in public'. Does everyone have someone they can leave their children with as and when required? I certainly didn't when mine were young.

 

[Shalimar]

The original post was about a child in a shopping cart that won't stop screaming but seems to have morphed into behaviour/criticism of children in general and of course parents of today! If the child is in a shopping cart then it indicates this is a toddler or younger. An age where perhaps the 'look' from a parent doesn't work and ignoring a tantrum or outburst is probably the best solution.

Regarding children with autism etc. and the comment that children who 'lack normal control mechanisms' be kept at home/left with a sitter/child minder when you venture out in public..... I find that disgusting. But putting that aside and just thinking about leaving children at home while you 'venture out in public'. Does everyone have someone they can leave their children with as and when required? I certainly didn't when mine were young.

Neither did I.

 

[KingsX]

If you have to deal with a child who, unfortunately, lacks "normal" control mechanisms when in public places, then you refrain from visiting the same with said child. Problem solved. If you want to reply with something to the effect that taking this child out in public places is unavoidable, at times, I'd say you need to rethink your situation and consider having a sitter/child minder when you must venture out in public. No, I am not heartless. I simply am considering the rights of the many, to not be disturbed by a caterwauling individual, over the right of that individual to scream his/her head off, in public. (No such right exists, in any country that I know of.)

I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]

Except when he was at school or at day care while I worked, I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures, where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc. Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.] Ironically, when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]

I was not ashamed of my son and not ashamed or afraid to take him anywhere I went. In many ways, he was more intelligent and better behaved than many "normal" adults I have known. He taught me many important lessons about myself and about others. He brought out the good in most people and I am a better person because of him.


Photo

http://www.williamsfuneral.com/site...118051/large_476990_20130721140653_00006A.jpg

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[hollydolly]

Robusta, be glad, very glad, that I was not present when that happened. My instinct would have been to lay you out. I would have then pressed charges for child abuse. Maybe I'd also have been arrested, but it would have been worth it.

It wasn't true, you can calm down, he didn't do it....

 

[hearlady]

Aren't you a sweetheart? ♥ I love your idea and am going to keep some stickers in my purse from now on. Thank you for this!

Thanks, I do quietly ask the parent if their child can have a sticker and if yes, I place it without a word. It's something so unexpected it throws them off....at least for a little while. Sometimes if the sticker is a smiling cartoon character I tell them not cry or you'll make Mickey mouse (or whoever) cry. That seems to work too.
I shop in an Air Force commissary. I see lots of spouses of deployed servicemen who are stressed, without family around and are dealing alone with small children.
I have been there myself and some understanding goes a long way.

 

[Bee]

I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]

Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school, I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures, where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc. Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.] Ironically, when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]

I was not ashamed of my son and not ashamed or afraid to take him anywhere I went. In many ways, he was more intelligent and better behaved than many "normal" adults I have known. He taught me many important lessons about myself and about others. He brought out the good in most people and I am a better person because of him.


Photo

http://www.williamsfuneral.com/site...118051/large_476990_20130721140653_00006A.jpg

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Excellent post KingsX, thankyou for sharing.

So sorry to hear about the loss of your son.

 

[hearlady]

He was beautiful KingsX.

 

[Mike]

Great story KingsX, you are an example to all
impatient people and your son looks very nice,
I am sorry that he has gone, you must really
miss him.

Mike.

 

[Gary O']

I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]

Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school, I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures, where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc. Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.] Ironically, when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]

I was not ashamed of my son and not ashamed or afraid to take him anywhere I went. In many ways, he was more intelligent and better behaved than many "normal" adults I have known. He taught me many important lessons about myself and about others. He brought out the good in most people and I am a better person because of him.


Photo

http://www.williamsfuneral.com/site...118051/large_476990_20130721140653_00006A.jpg

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This post has a way of glistening against the dross that seeped into this worthy thread

Wonderful words
Refreshing
Centering

 

[Keesha]

I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]

Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school, I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures, where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc. Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.] Ironically, when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]

I was not ashamed of my son and not ashamed or afraid to take him anywhere I went. In many ways, he was more intelligent and better behaved than many "normal" adults I have known. He taught me many important lessons about myself and about others. He brought out the good in most people and I am a better person because of him.


Photo

http://www.williamsfuneral.com/site...118051/large_476990_20130721140653_00006A.jpg

.

This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I’m so sorry for your loss.

Thanks, I do quietly ask the parent if their child can have a sticker and if yes, I place it without a word. It's something so unexpected it throws them off....at least for a little while. Sometimes if the sticker is a smiling cartoon character I tell them not cry or you'll make Mickey mouse (or whoever) cry. That seems to work too.
I shop in an Air Force commissary. I see lots of spouses of deployed servicemen who are stressed, without family around and are dealing alone with small children.
I have been there myself and some understanding goes a long way.

What a great idea hearlady. I bet you’re great with kids.


This thread was meant to be light hearted and to poke fun of my impatient, intolerant man who whines whenever there are kids around. I wondered if anyone else had a grouchy husband while out shopping.

Most crying kids don’t bother me at all. This particular day, I felt so bad for the toddler. He was probably only about 18 months old and was clearly in need of attention but the mother would have ‘none of it.’

It may have been judgmental on my part, but it ‘appeared’ to be on the neglectful side.

It cetainly wasn’t meant to be a put down of parents who have to deal with this.

 

[Shalimar]

I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]

Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school, I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures, where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc. Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.] Ironically, when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]

I was not ashamed of my son and not ashamed or afraid to take him anywhere I went. In many ways, he was more intelligent and better behaved than many "normal" adults I have known. He taught me many important lessons about myself and about others. He brought out the good in most people and I am a better person because of him.


Photo

http://www.williamsfuneral.com/site...118051/large_476990_20130721140653_00006A.jpg

.

Oh, you touch my heart. This is the strength and beauty of a mother’s love personified. My condolences on the loss of your beautiful son.

 

[StarSong]

I was a single [divorced] mother to my autistic son for 38 years [he recently died suddenly and unexpectedly during a seizure.]

Except when he was at day care while I worked or at school, I can count on one hand the number of times my autistic son had a babysitter. In spite of his autism and seizures, where I went, he went... and that included eating out in restaurants, shopping, road trips, vacations, etc. Yes, he sometimes acted out in public... but I never had anyone complain or even suggest that he was not welcome anywhere I went [except one time and you might be surprised where that happened.] Ironically, when we were out in public, people who were strangers to me would walk up and say hi to my son [usually someone from his school or his special needs day care.]

I was not ashamed of my son and not ashamed or afraid to take him anywhere I went. In many ways, he was more intelligent and better behaved than many "normal" adults I have known. He taught me many important lessons about myself and about others. He brought out the good in most people and I am a better person because of him.


Photo

http://www.williamsfuneral.com/site...118051/large_476990_20130721140653_00006A.jpg

.

My condolences on the loss of your beloved son. How very fortunate you and he were to have one another.

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.

 

[Traveler]

Oh, I hate it too. When my oldest was about three, she had problem ears so she was whiney a lot. I remember we were in Wal Greens one time and the little snot was holding her ear crying, no more like screaming. People were starting to look so I slapped that brat right across the kisser. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face! bUT HOT DAMN It sure shut her the hell up and also taught her to behave in public!

I'm fairly certain Robusta was just being sarcastic. Kids whine and throw tanties for lots of different reasons. You can try soothing, distracting but sometimes nothing works. Many experts advise ignoring as a tactic.

And I’m fairly certain he wasn’t. I’ve read plenty of his posts.
He gave details about his reasoning for losing it on his screaming ‘injured’ child and even expressed his delight in seeing her hurt expression.

Robusta, be glad, very glad, that I was not present when that happened. My instinct would have been to lay you out. I would have then pressed charges for child abuse. Maybe I'd also have been arrested, but it would have been worth it.

Thank you my friend :heart:

It wasn't true, you can calm down, he didn't do it....

I remain unconvinced. I think it DID happen. I have had, unfortunately, 1st hand experience with child abusers and I think we saw an unguarded moment of an abuser who, deep within his heart, is proud of what he did.

 

[AZ Jim]

Who am I too root out the truth? All I have is Robusta's post, and 82 year old brain, and instinct. I believe he did as he bragged about which, if I am right, makes him a coward.

 

[Falcon]

Falcon, I thought that you were well enough educated to make your point without name calling. The mark of a true gentleman is found in his vocabulary, and I would have thought that this kind of speech would be unnecessary to express your feelings here.

I RESENT Your "advice". My career was in teaching (Both children AND adults)

I've ALWYS been a gentleman to those who are worthy of it. Now that you know what my posts are like, DON'T OPEN THEM.

 

[Shalimar]

Who am I too root out the truth? All I have is Robusta's post, and 82 year old brain, and instinct. I believe he did as he bragged about which, if I am right, makes him a coward.

I think you are spot on, sadly, he fits the profile all too well.

 

[hollydolly]

As a child of abusive parents I am not ready to jump on people too quickly and think the worst of them because I don't believe you can psycho analyse people from a few words posted on a forum , I just always don't want to believe the worst in people without proof... and I have to say despite all your misgivings, I still want to believe robusta meant it as a twisted joke...and it's not true that he did this . I have no special friendship with robusta and no need to defend him other than I believe him...it's just my instinct..

I feel that if he had been guilty of it and then saw the hue and cry then went up on here , he could have simply deleted or altered that original post, and not make a thread strongly protesting his innocence.

I don't think I'm Naive when it comes to Child abuse, I suffered and watched my siblings and others suffer too while growing up... I just feel that in this case Robusta is guilty of sick humour but not of the abuse of his own child..


I Sincerely hope that I'm not wrong!!

 

[Keesha]

I also don’t like thinking the worst of people but some people have a way of standing out and Robusta did just that with me but not in a positive way. Before his strange response to this thread he made a cowboy thread , poking fun of ClassicRockr.

To me, I thought it was cruel and unfair but then thought that perhaps he wrote it in a fun loving way so I inquired about it in that thread. His response was so bad that the entire thread had to be taken down by the mods. It was extremely hateful.

If he was just joking about the abuse he did to his own 3 year old daughter, then WHY in the world would he make all kinds of excuses to justify his behaviour?

1/. She was sick
2/. He had worked 10 plus hours that day
3/. He was hungry and hadn’t eaten yet

Yadda yadda yadda

If it wasn’t true then why not state it right away?
If it wasn’t true then why make a list of justifications ?

I don’t like thinking the worst of people either but I have incredibly good instincts and red flags were going off for me. Big time.

 

[Shalimar]

I also don’t like thinking the worst of people but some people have a way of standing out and Robusta did just that with me but not in a positive way. Before his strange response to this thread he made a cowboy thread , poking fun of ClassicRockr.

To me, I thought it was cruel and unfair but then thought that perhaps he wrote it in a fun loving way so I inquired about it in that thread. His response was so bad that the entire thread had to be taken down by the mods. It was extremely hateful.

If he was just joking about the abuse he did to his own 3 year old daughter, then WHY in the world would he make all kinds of excuses to justify his behaviour?

1/. She was sick
2/. He had worked 10 plus hours that day
3/. He was hungry and hadn’t eaten yet

Yadda yadda yadda

If it wasn’t true then why not state it right away?
If it wasn’t true then why make a list of justifications ?

I don’t like thinking the worst of people either but I have incredibly good instincts and red flags were going off for me. Big time.[/QUOTE

I concur. The trigger for me is the level of rage he exuded when challenged, and the immense sense of entitlement he felt to behave as he wished here on sf regardless of how others were impacted. Ultimately, it was all about him. I have seen this so many times with abusers.

 

[Keesha]

Yes. He even made another thread to complain about me but it got pulled also

 

[Bee]

I still believe that Robusta was joking albeit a sick joke but a joke none the less.

In the thread that he started ( in which he explained why he posted what he did ) he also stated he had received some vile pm's, I wonder if the people that sent them was banned also when he was banned.

It is so easy to gossip about someone that is no longer a member here to defend themselves....in my opinion that comes under bad forum etiquette.

 

[Keesha]

Well Bee, YOU are talking about him also. Is that not considered gossip ?

I am not sure who sent him a vile pm and if they got banned also. That’s none of my business.
It sure wasn’t me that sent him any pm’s but he did send me one that I didn’t respond to.

Also I’m actually responding to a question he asked me in open forum. He asked what posts was I talking about when I made my judgment about him. I’m now answering his question. I could have answered him in the thread he made about me but chose not to.