Christmas presents

P

Patnono

Member
Location
Whittier,Ca
Hi for several years now I've been giving presents to my sister's grandchildren. There's one of her daughter's who I don't see too much. I'm big on manner's, she never acknowledeges the presents, would like a Thank you. I've never expect anything. Should I stop giving them presents?
 

I would but that's just me. I am big on manners also but so many people have not been taught. I expect a thank you and get them most of the time. If I don't then, they will get a card only. Does not bother me a bit. I always write a thank you note or call when I receive a gift or kindness.
 
Seems to be a lot of this that goes on at Christmas and on Birthdays. Don't know why, but my 67 yr old BIL does this to us. Unless we call him on Christmas, we'd wouldn't hear from him and many, many times no "thank you" for the gifts we've sent him. This year will be different, because he doesn't want us to know his address...…...for whatever reason. Perhaps afraid we will make a surprise visit, which we wouldn't.
 

If they can't take the time to give you a Thank you, then I certainly would not take the time to give them a gift!
 
Yea, my daughter pointed out that they Never come things we invite them too, but we go to things they invite us too. I don't care to receive anything, that's not Me... I Love giving. I'll rewrite my Christmas list ����
 
My grandson lives with me, he's 4 I insist on him having manner's, I've seen him correct adults about their lack of manner's. Lol. So looks like I'll be checking my list Twice? Thanks
 
Yea, it's sad that etiquette has gone out the window...my daughter n I have been teaching my grandson since he was a couple of years old about manner's, he's 4 now and opens the door for women...I insist. My nieces kids are old enough to call me and say thank You
 
Patnono said:
My grandson lives with me, he's 4 I insist on him having manner's, I've seen him correct adults about their lack of manner's. Lol. So looks like I'll be checking my list Twice? Thanks
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You are a GREAT grandparent!! Two BIG "thumbs up" for you!!
 
I’ve got a huge pet peeve about thankless people.
If someone goes out of their way to do something for you or give you something then it at least deserves a thank you in acknowledgement. It’s especially tough when it’s family or people close to the heart.
 
Thank you, I'm tired of seeing the lack of empathy and self entitlement these days. Sorry to say that's how my sister's raised her kids and now her grandchildren. When I saw the ones that live with her, when they say me The first thing out of their mouth is "where's my birthday present" and when I gave them a present, they said that's it??? I reprimand them and tell them their Rude
 
In the last few months I have finally come to the realization that some people I always gave gifts to just do not deserve them anymore. So my list is a lot shorter today.
 
Mines is shorter too, I found out I had a sister in law who use to throw away the presents I gave her kids when they where little, that they weren't good enough. So I stopped giving them any. Their adults now they call to remind me that their birthday coming and they want a present. I chewed them out, and gave them NOTHING
 
That's ok that you feel that way, I just feel hurt by what feel is somewhat disrespectful, they kept the gifts. My kids Always say Please an Thank you without any prompting from me, it comes to them naturally. I'm working on my grandson whom I want to grow up to be a gentleman. We are consistent with him. Im retired now, so my income has changed.
 
Patnono said:
My grandson lives with me, he's 4 I insist on him having manner's, I've seen him correct adults about their lack of manner's. Lol. So looks like I'll be checking my list Twice? Thanks
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So you’ve turned your presents into your presence

Not everyone is so blessed with that

Maybe the gift for those you aren’t around should be a portrait of their grandma
 
I've never thought of it that way, it's just being respectful to those who thought of them enough to give. These are Not my grandchildren. I love my family just wanted to show it, I don't want anything, I'm uncomfortable when I'm given anything.
 
Patnono said:
I've never thought of it that way, it's just being respectful to those who thought of them enough to give. These are Not my grandchildren. I love my family just wanted to show it, I don't want anything, I'm uncomfortable when I'm given anything.
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Gifts are a bit of a trick
Buying something for someone gets bumpy at times
A matter of taste comes into play

Sure, one should express thanks in some way. It’s a simple decent thing.
But, it needs to be from the heart, not due to the dictates of what should be done.
That…is just an exercise

I have 15 grandchildren
Not many recv anything material from me for Christmas or birthdays
They bless us when they come
We enjoy visiting them when we go
Kids are busy with their little lives
But, if you can get them to sit with you, you can give them something beyond material value, stories of your childhood, interest in theirs.
One of my g’kids used to give me as much grief as he possibly could
Until last visit
While waiting for the train, outa the blue, he wrapped his arms around me, hugged me close, and said, ‘I love you Papaw’
14 year olds don’t just do that
I was stunned
And happy
It was the greatest gift I’d ever received
Let the sellers and buyers and givers of things do what they do

Give them something to carry around in their mind, even after yer long gone.

Yourself

Don’t be too concerned about slights, or most anything out of your grasp

Per them in your grasp…tight
 
Patnono said:
Thanks for writing, it does come from the heart, I don't think saying thank you is too much to ask?
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Of course not

but when asking, well, things get a bit upside down

the intent of everything gets focused on a shortcoming, not a blessed event

turns out, life itself is just too short to try to ratchet everthing into what should be done

Hey, we're all old here
get a certain age, the word 'cherish' becomes much more prized than the word 'harbor'
 
Yea, it'll be ok, the new generation is about. I prefer giving of my time or homemade gifts, I'm a crafter/seamstress, my homemade gifts weren't received well, no harm, I get pleasure from doing that.
 
Patnono said:
I prefer giving of my time or homemade gifts, I'm a crafter/seamstress, my homemade gifts weren't received well, no harm, I get pleasure from doing that.
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I know that one

I work with wood
My lady spins, knits, crotchets

damn commercialized crap pushed into fertile minds, these days

...and where does that all go when the new next thing comes about?
 
Thanks for writing, I tried to knit and crochet, teaching a left hander is hard. When I turned 50, I had insisted on a homemade gifts. My God it was like pulling teeth to get them to do it, I treasure those most. I'm making blankets for my kids and a sports Christmas stockings for my niece who cares for my elderly mother.
 

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