Commonly done things you have never done

I have never bred racing kangaroos.
I have never eaten a wombat.
I have never completed a marathon run.
I've never started a marathon run.
I have never been unfaithful to my wife (over 50 years).
I have never understood Einstein's Theory of Relativity.
I have never been able to iron a lady's brassiere.
I have never been in space.
I have never fancied Hillary Clinton.
 

Never smoked a thing
Never tried illegal drugs
Never been to jail
Never quit a job on bad terms
Never sold another person a car
Never been to the east coast of my own darn country
 

Never been arrested.
Never been to South America.
Never visited China.
Never been in a hot air balloon.
Never sky dived.
Never been skiing.
Never given birth to a girl.
Never been to the Grand Canyon.
Never learned to drive a stick shift.
 
Never Twittered
Never figured out a stick shift
Never hot-wired a car
Never dipped snuff
Never lived alone
Never could bear the thought of eating liver
Never had any broken bones
Never owned a pet bird
 
Guitarist said:
I've never been to Spain
I've never believed in evolution

But I'm still living so who knows? One day I may get to Spain!
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Never say never. My BIL just left for Spain yesterday morning. He is 79 and just last week completed treatments for bladder cancer. He was born and raised in Barcelona,came here in high school as an exchange student and met my sister. They were married a couple of years later,lived in Spain for a year or two,then came back here permanently. He had an importing business, so visited Spain several times a year until he retired. They have been unable to go for the past few years due to my sister`s COPD,but he was determined to go see his BIL one last time as he is in care with advanced dementia. And he made the trip,so I`m very happy for him.
 
Ameriscot said:
Not even when a woman asks 'does my bum look big in this' or 'how do you like my new hairdo' or complimenting a young child on their scribbling as beautiful art?
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Well, yes, but that's not really telling pork pies is it... That's just being polite and complimentary.

I'm like a politician, you can't trust me.
I'm like a lover, Who promises to stop when you ask him to.
I'm like a dentist who tells you 'This won't hurt you.'
'Of course it's fresh, lady, I picked it myself.'
and the garage. mechanic who says 'You need that changing out, and that...'

Not like the voluptuous woman who is really a size 16, and asks the assistant if she has a dress in a European size 12.


Anyway. men don't tell lies.
 
Hey, Shalimar, how would you like me to whisk you off to Bali? We could drink a jelly-jar or two of Moonshine, then dance naked in the moonlight.
I'd even listen to a couple of your poems, but don't push me on that one.
 
To me, (as an Englishman), poutine is a very healthy meal of gravy and chips, with cheese melted from the top. Rarely less than 3,000 calories, it can be an integral part of a diet.
(I'm back in lying mode).

Poteen is the raw alcoholic drink they traditionally make in the backwoods of Tennessee, and is good for opticians - they make a shed-load of money treating people who have drunk it, and losing their eyesight.
If you get a taste for Moonshine, I always close one eye just in case there is any truth in the rumour.
 
Hanfonius said:
... Poteen is the raw alcoholic drink they traditionally make in the backwoods of Tennessee, and is good for opticians - they make a shed-load of money treating people who have drunk it, and losing their eyesight.
If you get a taste for Moonshine, I always close one eye just in case there is any truth in the rumour.
Click to expand...

Huh. My grandfather sold/delivered liquor during prohibition but I've never heard the term poteen before. He dealt in whiskey.
 
You are right, folks. Poteen (originally poitin in the old Irish language) meant 'little pot'.

I was getting mixed up with the adjective pootin. This is when you are bored, and talk to other people on a social group.
... You are now 'pootin, an abbreviation of compootin.

This thread is very hinterlecktual, innit...
 
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