Considering a move to senior apartment community

I want assisted living so I have to do nothing but watch tv, read, play computer game, and see my kids. A perfect place for a dedicated couch potato like me!
 

StarSong said:
Even the best of Assisted Living could hardly be considered going in style. At least for me. I'm not against AL, but it's certainly a ratcheted down, more closely controlled life with far less independence than living on one's own.
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What do you mean when you say more closely controlled life?
 
StarSong said:
Even the best of Assisted Living could hardly be considered going in style. At least for me. I'm not against AL, but it's certainly a ratcheted down, more closely controlled life with far less independence than living on one's own.
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Well, 🤣, we have the independence, now, to stay home. I have two adult children in group homes which is similar to assisted living only more controlled for their safety. We agree to disagree.
 
MarciKS said:
What do you mean when you say more closely controlled life?
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Most assisted living facilities were closed to non-essential visitors during this pandemic. So medical visitors were permitted, but not family members. Most are still greatly curtailing visitations and residents' group outings.

During contagious disease outbreaks, whether flu, norovirus, COVID-19, or other, until the threat is over residents must remain in their rooms unless escorted by a staff member. Containment can last days or weeks.

Except for memory care units, residents haven't been committed and are legally free to leave at any time. That said, the facility may not permit them to return until the threat is past.

It's not a life to aspire to unless living alone is no longer safe or manageable. In my three years of at least weekly visits with close relatives at a couple of very good ALs, I never met a single resident who was capable of living independently. All had either severe ambulatory issues or cognitive challenges.
 
StarSong said:
Most assisted living facilities were closed to non-essential visitors during this pandemic. So medical visitors were permitted, but not family members. Most are still greatly curtailing visitations and residents' group outings.

During contagious disease outbreaks, whether flu, norovirus, COVID-19, or other, until the threat is over residents must remain in their rooms unless escorted by a staff member. Containment can last days or weeks.

Except for memory care units, residents haven't been committed and are legally free to leave at any time. That said, the facility may not permit them to return until the threat is past.

It's not a life to aspire to unless living alone is no longer safe or manageable. In my three years of at least weekly visits with close relatives at a couple of very good ALs, I never met a single resident who was capable of living independently. All had either severe ambulatory issues or cognitive challenges.
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I see. For me it wouldn't be a big deal because I really don't go out much & don't have company over so it would likely work out for me. Plus I have no issue with staying in my room. LOL
 
Aneeda72 said:
Well, 🤣, we have the independence, now, to stay home. I have two adult children in group homes which is similar to assisted living only more controlled for their safety. We agree to disagree.
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I think we're actually in agreement. For a variety of reasons, ALs are more closely controlled than independent living.

Aneeda, we have the independence to stay home, that's true. We also have the freedom to mask up and go to grocery stores, pharmacies, Target, Walmart and whatever else is open, to walk our neighborhoods, go for a drive, to walk in a park, and so much more.
 
StarSong said:
I think we're actually in agreement. For a variety of reasons, ALs are more closely controlled than independent living.

Aneeda, we have the independence to stay home, that's true. We also have the freedom to mask up and go to grocery stores, pharmacies, Target, Walmart and whatever else is open, to walk our neighborhoods, go for a drive, to walk in a park, and so much more.
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Yes, of course, but so do my sons, or they did before the virus. They must wait for a staff member to have time to go with of course.

I suppose anyone in AL is there because they need the help of another human being. Obviously my total care son must have help always, and my DS with an IQ of 53 could never prance out the door on his own. But others in AL can.

In the group home organization my total care son is with they have rented apartments in a regular apartment building or they are in the group home. Many of those residents, in apartments, were dressed, plopped in their wheelchairs, and free to go forth as would you or I. Auto door openers were put on their doors.

A strip mall was a couple blocks away and we would often see them zipping around there with little care or concern, as free as birds. Neither of my sons are/were capable of this level of freedom. I suppose it depends on the state you are in, your abilities when you enter AL, and what you want.
 
@Aneeda72, I'm not sure where our disconnect is. Assisted living facilities for seniors is far different from what you're talking about.

I can only comment on my experience with senior ALs and their relative lack of freedom as compared to people living on their own.
 
I don't know much about senior AL's, but from what I've heard, I gather there is a pretty broad spectrum. Some of them are basically independent living, except that you get one or more meals served every day. (I guess these days, the meals are delivered to your door). Some of them offer cleaning services, etc. So they are a little less "independent" than independent living, but not too different. People who hate preparing their own meals seem to love them.

Others are closer to nursing homes in their living arrangements. Maybe instead of just a room, you share a suite with one or two other people. And you get your meals, etc.

To make it even more complicated, there are also "rehab" facilities, which are more temporary.

About the "freedom" question, of course where I live, we have the same amount of freedom that anyone else has, living anywhere. I can go out or stay home, wear a mask or not (though everybody does), have guests or not, but not a large crowd etc. Senior independent living is not a prison. Neither is assisted living, I'm sure. But there might be tighter rules in assisted living facilities.

The only thing I miss being able to do is cook on a grill, but that's because I live in a hi-rise, not because it's senior living.
 
Aneeda when you say assisted living are you talking about apts where they live independently with a call button if they need paramedics?
 
MarciKS said:
Aneeda when you say assisted living are you talking about apts where they live independently with a call button if they need paramedics?
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Actually, my totally disabled son“s second placement was exactly that. He was in an apartment and it had a call button, not to push but for him to yell at, as he did not have the ability to push a button. He would yell and they would call the staff that was in another another apartment.

We hated it. It became a neglect situation. But the other, less disabled people, did great there. It was after this we had him moved to a group home.
 
Ok those are different. They're considered assisted living but the people still have the freedom to come & go if they want to. They just have call buttons in the apts if they need help from EMS crews. I'm not sure they would let people come & go now with this virus. Usually those folks come in to dine with the ones that are in total care.
 
MarciKS said:
Ok those are different. They're considered assisted living but the people still have the freedom to come & go if they want to. They just have call buttons in the apts if they need help from EMS crews. I'm not sure they would let people come & go now with this virus. Usually those folks come in to dine with the ones that are in total care.
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This group, and many groups here, have residents live in regular apartments just like you or me. They are all disabled to various degrees and without funds usually. Everyone starts out in the least restrictive environment per the ADA.

With our son with DS we had to prove that he could not be in an independent apartment and could never ride a city bus on his own. Lots of experts, all agreed, so his environment is more restrictive. While the funding may be different, people with disabilities are people with disabilities no matter what their age.

The difference @StarSong may be in the funding of assisted living. I am assuming most think they will pay for it, I am assuming the state will pay for it. Cause like my boys, 😂, I have no money.
 
Well, my plans for a move has prompted some good discussions here. I do not mind, as that is the point of threads like this in a forum like this Discussions with out peers, about stuff we are all living is a great way to learn and share information. I am glad My thread has provided for this discussion.
 
At some point we get to a place in life where we have no choice but to be taken care of. My parents don't want to go to the nursing home but I think mom would if she had to. She won't like it. I won't like it. But she would like living with me even less. LOL
 
MarciKS said:
At some point we get to a place in life where we have no choice but to be taken care of. My parents don't want to go to the nursing home but I think mom would if she had to. She won't like it. I won't like it. But she would like living with me even less. LOL
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That is right. I am still able to have independant living, do not need a medical facility at this point. Julie just wants me a bit closer to her, in a more secure environment. She is liking, mainly, that I will not have outdoor stuff to deal with and worry about.
 
MarciKS said:
At some point we get to a place in life where we have no choice but to be taken care of. My parents don't want to go to the nursing home but I think mom would if she had to. She won't like it. I won't like it. But she would like living with me even less. LOL
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Yeah, my mother would NEVER live with me. She would be afraid it’d do to her what she did to me.
 

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