Considering a move to senior apartment community

Lakeland living said:
For me, it will never happen. I would die rather than go into one of those places. I know many people cannot live on their own after a while, I also just learned as many other have that the abuse and neglect that went on was just plain disgusting. Not all are bad, I know that. But they are not for me.
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I am NOT going to assisted living, or nursing home. It is simply an over 60 apartment complex. Not a medical facility
 

StarSong said:
If you had been living there when this pandemic broke out, @Marie5656, would you have been confined to your apartment or would you have been free to come and go as you pleased?

Might be a helpful bit of information to find out.
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Great point. My work's whole campus which includes assisted living apartments, a dementia unit and a nursing home has been locked down since March. Residents can't leave and family can't visit face to face.
 

AnnieA said:
Great point. My work's whole campus which includes assisted living apartments, a dementia unit and a nursing home has been locked down since March. Residents can't leave and family can't visit face to face.
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Same at one of my sons group home-my totally disabled son-considered very fragile
 
StarSong said:
If you had been living there when this pandemic broke out, @Marie5656, would you have been confined to your apartment or would you have been free to come and go as you pleased?

Might be a helpful bit of information to find out.
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I do not know, actually. I am speculating here..that maybe they would have closed the building to outside visitors, asked residents to isolate for two weeks, and then allow limited gatherings in common areas. I know there is a small little convenience store there. And we all have food delivery
Something I will ask when I visit this week.
 
I'm in a (minimum age 55) independent community, and can absolutely vouch for it. I love it. The activities are wonderful, at least in normal times when we can have activities. But even now, people are finding ways to get together with masks and sit outside just to talk. I agree with you, the interactions with people are very important. I can't imagine wanting to live anywhere else; I've been here for over 12 years now.

Having your neice nearby is a big plus. You would have the best of both worlds. Go for it! 😄
 
Hi Marie,you are lucky to have such a thoughtful,caring niece
The senior apt living place reminds me of the ones that are located in the burbs of Buffalo since there are not many here in the city
I think its a great idea for you so you can meet new friends not feel so isolated&alone,go for it
Keep us updated when you decide to move Sue
 
My senior apartments (over age 55) have had no restrictions, other than wearing a mask when going out. The main office was closed to open traffic for a long while, visitors were discouraged, and the common areas have had little group gatherings. The swimming pool area is open though, and Jenny, the hair stylist is working in the main building.
And I've been driving to the grocery store weekly, and over to visit family whenever.

There seems to be a misconception about 'freedom' of living in Senior apartments. No lockdowns. If you are healthy and want to leave, no one cares. Not everyone is retired, several people have regular jobs around here.
 
@Bonnie I agree. There are many who equate senior living with ASSISTED living. Totally different. Just an apartment buliding forna specific group of people. There is in house maintaneince, if something goes wrong, housekeeping..IF we want it and rides to the store and appointments. And off street parking for our cars. I will definately feel more secure.
Do you like the place, Bonnie? I am guessing you do.
 
Marie5656 said:
@Bonnie I agree. There are many who equate senior living with ASSISTED living. Totally different. Just an apartment buliding forna specific group of people. There is in house maintaneince, if something goes wrong, housekeeping..IF we want it and rides to the store and appointments. And off street parking for our cars. I will definately feel more secure.
Do you like the place, Bonnie? I am guessing you do.
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Yes @Marie5656, I totally love it here!! . And I think you will find it a great lifestyle too.
Same amenities here .... maintenance, transportation if needed, pest control, and yearly checkup of apt. sprinkler system, smoke alarms/fire extinguisher, etc. Maintenance crew is wonderful.

We have nine buildings and several acres of land, so parking lots are all around the buildings. Lots of grassy area and many trees, shrubs.
Great for doggy walking.

I sold a large house w/large yard that was causing me mental anguish .. I hung it out for 4 years after my husband died, and then our big labrador died too .. and I said 'what am I doing here?' .. Sold the house, packed up my little dog (only one left) and we moved to these apartments. It's also very close to my daughter's house, so big plus in that.
The apartment is beautiful with private outside patio. I only miss not being able to plant a garden like I had at my house. 😁
 
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Marie5656 said:
@Bonnie I agree. There are many who equate senior living with ASSISTED living. Totally different. Just an apartment buliding forna specific group of people. There is in house maintaneince, if something goes wrong, housekeeping..IF we want it and rides to the store and appointments. And off street parking for our cars. I will definately feel more secure.
Do you like the place, Bonnie? I am guessing you do.
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Absolutely and I was one of them. Retirement living is the stage before assisted living. Retirement living offers all the luxuries of good living with all the convenience and safety features.

Assisted living is when you need help with basic functioning : toilet, eating, medication, walking etc., and is much more restricted. Assisted living here is subsidized. The government pays for half of it and if you can’t afford it will pay it all.
 
I live in assisted living and have never witnessed on case of abuse. Not that some places have had suits brought against them for same, but it is the exception as opposed to the usual. Actually, we are now known as senior living for there are many of us who live quite independently. Of course we are able to have assistance if required as we do pay for it. Cleaning, laundry, meals and meds are a part of the deal. Our apartment range from small studio all the way up to large. I live in a 3 room apartment and can either prepare my own meals or eat in the dining room. That is when the dining room opens once again. NJ is very slow in allowing these various health facilities dine indoors. We must visit with our relatives out doors, so pray this ends before winter.😷 One side of the property which is vast with a pergola and small garden area. 055.JPG
 
@Lewkat Nice place. Glad you like it there. I used to work for an assisted living center many years ago. The residents were mostly very nice people. But so often I felt the workers were just there for a paycheck. Sad. Maybe because I was older than so many of my co-workers, I felt I had a lot more compassion and empathy for the residents I worked with.

I hope I like the apartment complex.
 
You're right Marie, there are a few here just for that paycheck and I let them know it if I think they are slackers. It's the nurse and former military officer in me I guess. I let them know if they don't like the job, there's the front door. Poor attitude from some.
 
Retirement living is the stage before assisted living.
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No way, Keesha! Most of us are here for the long haul, and if we do have to end up in assisted living, it's after many years of enjoying our life here. Calling it a "stage" is a needlessly depressing way of putting it, sort of like saying life is a stage we go through before death.

Most of us (me included) would say, "Assisted living? Me? Never!" Which may be denial, but most people able to live independently think that way.

I wonder what has happened to all the assisted living places and nursing homes since they were hit so hard by the coronavirus.
 
Lewkat, your gardens look beautiful. Our landscaping is similar, and it's so nice to enjoy all that without having to do the work. Although we do have a gardening area where people who love gardening sign up for a little patch of it, and plant and tend whatever they want.

I used to live in Morristown, very near to Madison, and I still remember what a lovely neck of the woods that was. NJ isn't called the Garden State for nothing!
 
Sunny said:
.... Calling it a "stage" is a needlessly depressing way of putting it, sort of like saying life is a stage we go through before death.
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Great way to word it. Because it isn't something everyone goes through at all. Right now, at my apartments, I know two independent women in their 90's who I could never picture in assisted living. One even drives and vacations yearly. The other one I see out on my walks daily. She loves to visit with my dog, and she told me that she is 94. They are both inspiring.
 
for @Sunny
"All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts.......

........Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Okay, I mixed two different plays. Sue me. :p

.
 
As I get older and as the repairs seem to cost more and come more frequently, it is certainly appealing to consider a senior apartment facility. But income based, I could not find a place that is cheaper than my mortgage + taxes. Then, I look around and see my two fur babies with their doggie door and fenced in back yard. And, I can do what I want with my house and property... I don't want to give up that freedom (luxury) to live under guidelines that everyone must comply with. I don't want to walk dogs 2-3 times a day. Yeah, it would mean more socialization.... but my friends living in such conditions now, with the pandemic, are not able to socialize either. So, I feel I would lose more than I would gain.

Make a list of the pros and cons..... give a numeric value to each point.... then tally up the score.
 
@Ellen Marie ... yes I have to walk my dog everyday at my apt., THREE times a day. When I had my house, I walked my dogs occasionally, as they had a doggy door out to the backyard too, and they ran around out there. (I had a 90# lab at the time, and I couldn't walk him as he was a puller, so the little dog didn't get out around the neighborhood much either after my husband died .. I didn't feel it was fair to the large dog.)

I have found great health benefits to being forced to go walking three times a day. Doctor mentioned it. Builds muscle and keeps weight off.
I feel better than I have in ages as I'm approaching 77.

For me, I gained freedom by selling my house. I can do as I please, and not think about things needing to be done.
 
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Pepper said:
for @Sunny
"All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts.......

........Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Okay, I mixed two different plays. Sue me. :p

.
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Yeah, but....
The speech from Macbeth sounds like a classic definition of depression, so let's skip that one. (We had to memorize that damn speech in high school!)

The first one you quoted, from As You Like It, is more interesting and probably more accurate. Although that last "stage" of life, describing complete senility, is also pretty depressing. Of course, in Shakespeare's days, all that stuff probably happened in their 50's!

But what I was objecting to was Keesha's comment that retirement living is the last stage before assisted living. I don't think most of us living in senior housing see it that way at all. It's just a fun, sociable way to live, with regular, independent homes available to people who are 55 and over. Some will end up in assisted living or nursing homes, but most will not. In our various performance groups, there are many singers and yes, even dancers, in their 80's or 90's! My closest friend living here is 92, lives in an independent house, recently bought a new car, goes bowling, and goes to Zumba. Not that unusual.

And lots of the people here in their 50's and 60's are still working. They've got a long way to go before assisted living.
 
I spent 5 years working in the senior housing industry at an independent living property. The seniors that lived there seem to enjoy having an apartment and not having to worry about all the work and expenses that come with home ownership. Maybe do some research on the company that manages the property because some of them are good, and some are horrible. Speak to people that live at the place you are considering if you can and see if they like it there.
 

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