Conversation or silence at meals?

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
Reading James Herriot's wonderful novels, yet again, he describes how Yorkshire farmers and their families usually ate in silence, no small talk.
To me , a meal is an occasion for civilised conversation. At dinner a glass of wine perhaps. Other times a tray in front of the TV. Not silence though. Otherwise surely that is akin to pigs at a trough!
What is your custom now and do you recall in years past if conversation was encouraged or silence during meals?
 

Growing up you'd need a megaphone to get your point across at our dinner table. We were all very loud and opinionated.

At my in-laws you could only hear the clanking of cutlery...nobody would say a peep! I found it very awkward and started over-talking at mealtime, just to fill in the silent gaps.
 

I find silence at meals very off-putting. A lot of our mealtimes as children growing up were silent. Just the clinking of cutlery.

I need music or TV or conversation, just not silence. So my husband and I always chat or watch a light relaxing TV programme over dinner and lunch. For breakfast we watch the news usually.
 
Rose65 said:
Reading James Herriot's wonderful novels, yet again, he describes how Yorkshire farmers and their families usually ate in silence, no small talk.
To me , a meal is an occasion for civilised conversation. At dinner a glass of wine perhaps. Other times a tray in front of the TV. Not silence though. Otherwise surely that is akin to pigs at a trough!
What is your custom now and do you recall in years past if conversation was encouraged or silence during meals?
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Yeah, we always talked at the table. Mainly, Mom and Dad did. We spoke when spoken to: How was school? Did you finish your homework? etc.

Michelle and I talk during meals.

BTW, pigs talk the entire time they're at a trough. And they're loud. Sometimes they even argue, do a little shoving. It can get ugly.
 
Rose65 said:
Reading James Herriot's wonderful novels, yet again, he describes how Yorkshire farmers and their families usually ate in silence, no small talk.
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I adore James Herriot's books.

Growing up, we generally talked at the table. The TV was never on, and the phone was not answered, two rules I also enforced with my own children.

On weekend nights we had to eat in the more formal dining room (as opposed to the breakfast nook) with the good china, and I hated it. My parents were usually drunk and arguing, so I have really bad memories of formal meals.

With my own kids, we always talked. No screens were permitted at the table. Sometimes we would use conversation cards to prompt interesting exchanges.
 
Same thing, every evening. I go sit on a stool in the kitchen with a plate of dinner, alone. 5 - 10 minutes later, Misa has some new info she has discovered somewhere, and this is the time she loves to talk about it. Probably because I can't interrupt her as usual. So, I listen and nod and wonder how she remembers all the details she has been reading/watching. So, what starts in silence, turns into a lively talk ( mainly one-sided ), and I am entertained for a while, then she walks out again to buzz around some other newly discovered gem.
 
Yes! That is very true! Dinnertime can indeed be joyous occasion involving family bonding and an interchange of interesting viewpoints, and the family that does so is blessed. Unfortunately, such was not the case during my childhood nor during the 14 years of so-called marriage. You see, my father was very averse to conversations during dinner. In fact, he would repeatedly say that dinnertime was similar to being at a solemn church service when silence was expected to be the norm whenever I spoke to him during such times. So during my childhood, father mother and me would each choose the location where to eat dinner. That location was usually from a living room sofa in order to silently watch some TV program.

Yes, I did strive to establish the custom of having dinner conversations after I got married and had a family of five of my own. However, it was not to be. You see, the "wife" was fanatically obsessed with protecting the expensive dinner table and chairs from any possible scratch that the kids might carelessly inflict, and behaved similar to a vigilant watchdog at dinner times and preferred sitting alone at the head of the table in order to prevent it.

Now? Well I have been single for the last thirty years. So family conversations during dinner are out of the question. .
 
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GoneFishin said:
Silence. It is impolite to talk with your mouthful 😁
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that's true but you don't have to talk while you have food actually in your mouth... lol


Since I became an adult, talking has always been permitted during meals.. when I say permitted, it's not like there's a rule.. it's just something everyone does in my house.. or has in the past... very relaxed meals..unlike my strict childhood
 
Radrook said:
Now? Well I have been single for the last thirty years so conversation during dinner are out of the question. .
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Oh, not at all, @Radrook ! Talk to yourself... it's the best kind of conversation because no one ever disagrees or back-talks. Now if you start talking to yourself and *do* get arguments at the table, we're going to have to re-evaluate this. 🤭
 
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