Conversations with friends on the phone

Mizzkitt said:
I have one friend that lives out of town and since we both have a phone plan we do have conversations of an hour or more.

Does anyone else have a friend that does this? I call her, we are talking for a time but I get the impression that someone is listening in. Suddenly her husband pipes in after listening for a time in silence. I don't know why this bothers me but it does.
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99% of the time, we put our iPhone on speakerphone so both of us can talk to the person.
 
Those of you that say you don't call much on phone---why not? Don't want to talk--or listen?
I don't count texting--too short.
My theory is that people would call more often if they could talk more rather than listen to another talk.
When someone wants to hang up, I ask them about their life, then they talk.
And some people are very evasive, secretive or private.
 

Victor said:
Those of you that say you don't call much on phone---why not? Don't want to talk--or listen? ...
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I don't mind talking on the phone if a friend or relative calls me. Don't mind listening. In fact prefer it, if it doesn't go on too long. I'm always afraid I'll run out of things to say.

I don't like to *make* phone calls. Maybe because that means you are the person who has to decide when it's time to end the call? :confused: I prefer to see the person's face I'm talking to. I've ended phone calls wondering if someone took something I said the wrong way, because the reaction was not what I expected. I could tell if I saw their face.

[Especially hate making business calls. Seems I always forget something I should have mentioned, after I hang up. If you call back, you may not get the same person.]
 
Victor said:
Those of you that say you don't call much on phone---why not? Don't want to talk--or listen?
I don't count texting--too short.
My theory is that people would call more often if they could talk more rather than listen to another talk.
When someone wants to hang up, I ask them about their life, then they talk.
And some people are very evasive, secretive or private.
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Honestly, I don't put much thought into it. Why does it matter? I just don't like talking on the phone and I never have. I think it's just my personality; I'm kind of a loner. My husband is the gabby one; he calls the kids, his siblings, friends, etc. then reports to me on what's new. :D
 
One thing I learned quite a number of years ago........just can't worry about how others take what you say, whether on the phone or in person. I'm the joking type and neither of my SIL's are. Does it bug me? Yes and no. I do know that my wife's sister's friends are also the "serious, non-joking" type. My other SIL, brothers wife, acts like she's lived in a closet her entire life. I say some things (street talk) to her over the phone and she will say "what does that mean?" Then I have to explain the "lingo" to her and she will say "I've never heard that before". One word I learned while in EMS and working with (not for) law enforcement........"nose candy" IOW, snorting cocaine. Picked up enough of "drugged out" young folks when I was an EMT.

My wife absolutely loves my humor, but does know that not everyone enjoys or understands humor or understands "street talk/lingo".​
 
jujube said:
What frustrates me is when I call a friend or relative and we're talking away, then it's "oh, let me put you on hold and take this call....I'll be right back". Then I sit there for what seems forever, wondering if I'm still on hold or if we've been disconnected.

Usually the call that the other person "has" to take isn't that important. I understand when you're waiting for a call from the doctor's office or the plumber or the delivery person, you need to take it right away. But when it's just a routine call from your daughter or your mother or your husband and you talk to them multiple times a day already, can't you finish the call you're on and then call the other person back? I have one relative who's particularly bad about that. I seldom get an uninterrupted conversation with this person.
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I always say: "I'll let you go, give me a call when you get a minute."

Very seldom do they call back and it just reinforces my feelings about calling people.

Some folks have told me that I take these things too seriously or that I'm too sensitive.

Maybe they are right, LOL!

joe-btfsplk.jpg
 
Should I assume that if someone never calls me, or rarely, that he/she does not care a whit?
Because that is the perception--no calls, no texts, emails, nada.
 
Victor said:
Should I assume that if someone never calls me, or rarely, that he/she does not care a whit?
Because that is the perception--no calls, no texts, emails, nada.
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Either that or they are too busy, which I guess in essence is the same thing.:(
 
I call my sister out in Vegas,a couple times a month. I enjoy talking too her, but I do dread the call. She is a talker, and once you start in the call lasts a couple of hours or so.
My eldest brother is another mystery. We never were really close.He was a bully and my main tormentor growing up. He lived in a town about thirty miles from me. Rarely if ever heard from him for over twenty years.
Fast forward to a year or so ago. He had some surgery and needed a place to stay, so I volunteered for a few days. It was ,while not strained,I guess awkward. He left my place directly to a new home in Philadelphia. He now calls me every Sunday and Wednesday. Why?
 
I like texting better than calling because it's less intrusive. You can get the person's attention and discuss anything, but they don't have to answer immediately. If they're not home, or are, say, driving and can't pick up the cell phone, they at least know you are trying to reach them.

If I want to talk to my kids or grandkids, I usually send a text saying, "Please call me when you have a chance." That way I'm not interrupting them at work or whatever. Of course, if I just have a short message or question, I just include it in the text. I always get an answer.
 
I don't text but I have family members that will email me instead of calling when calling and saying what you're wanting to know seems like it would be quicker than an email and easier to understand how it is really meant. Anyway, email or text can be taken wrong sometimes so I prefer to call. Just like I had a daughter that will not call me but emails instead. During one of these emails, we were discussing Christmas gifts. Each year, I give my grandchildren either money or gifts, whichever they want. I asked her "What am I suppose to do this year, money or gifts?" Now I have said "What am I suppose to do" all of my life and she grew up hearing this so I didn't think anything about it. In just a few minutes, I got a reply saying " YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO!!!!" I was stunned. I asked her what she was talking about and explained I was just wondering which they wanted this year and that if I hadn't wanted to do something, I wouldn't have asked. She responds with "I thought you were mad about something." To this day, I do not understand why she thought that when she's heard it all of her life. Now if we had been talking on the phone, she would have been able to tell by my tone that I was not mad. This is an example why I would rather talk on the phone instead of text or email.
 
Victor said:
Should I assume that if someone never calls me, or rarely, that he/she does not care a whit?
Because that is the perception--no calls, no texts, emails, nada.
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No matter how "busy " a person is, if they really care, they will always find the time for you.
It is about priorities.
A call means that somewhere, somebody is thinking of you.

:wave:
 
Vega_Lyra said:
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No matter how "busy " a person is, if they really care, they will always find the time for you.
It is about priorities.
A call means that somewhere, somebody is thinking of you.

:wave:
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I agree!

Don't pay attention to what people say, watch what they do.

People always seem to find the time and the money to do the things that are important to them.
 
I agree Aunt Bea. I have a good friend who is always supposedly "busy", and I am more alienated from others now
since my retirement a few years ago. I count 8 groups, individuals and pets that were part of my
life that no longer are either through death or having to cease contact with them.. So the phone rarely rings, not even from
scammers (because I am rude to them. I told one to get an honest job.)
So we are alone and resort to forums and Facebook, twitter. (See an online article from Atlantic Monthly
on widespread loneliness and Facebook. Excellent. reading, sad)
 

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