Daughter Thinks I’d Like Senior Home Living

My friend had an apartment in a beautiful independent and assisted living facility. He had Parkinson’s disease and knew he would need more help. We toured many and he could afford a nice one. He said after 6 months the food got boring. I prefer my condo which is why I bought in a building with an elevator.
 

Geezer Garage said:
I might be alright with it if they have room for my 50,000 lbs of machinery. Seriously, I'm staying right where I am. I can hire someone to do what I can't when I get to that stage a lot cheaper than any of those places I would care to live in.
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I don't have much stuff, or much money. But I figure if push came to shove, I could simplify my life and hire occasional help. I don't need fine dining and all that.
 

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Jules said:
She’s in her mid 40s. Obviously, she and her sister have no idea what these places are like. There may come a point she may be advising or helping make decisions for me. It really startled me how naive they are.
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You are wise to recognize that those in their 40s and even some senior citizens in their 60s are naïve about the accommodations available for the elderly. After a fall and leg injury, my doctor recommended a one week stay in a nursing home to recuperate before returning to my house since I live alone. The nursing home brochure looked great. It said they provided food service to your room, maid service, laundry service, social hour and nursing assistance at the push of a button. During my one week stay, the food wasn’t edible, they lost my laundry, the soap dispenser in the bathroom fell off the wall, the office staff was rude and unresponsive, and nursing assistance from the young CNAs (Certified Nursing Assistants) was rude or non-existent. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I feel sorry for the elderly who are condemned to be permanent inmates there.
 
There are stories of people who choose to spend their retirement on Cruise ships all year round. Most are cheaper than care homes..and with an onboard Doctor, emergency hospital bay.. 3 meals a day cooked for you.. great menu.. maid service.. entertainment whenever you want it and a constant round of different people to meet....and different places to visit whenever the boat docks..

Perhaps I should do that...:D
 
hollydolly said:
There are stories of people who choose to spend their retirement on Cruise ships all year round. Most are cheaper than care homes..and with an onboard Doctor, emergency hospital bay.. 3 meals a day cooked for you.. great menu.. maid service.. entertainment whenever you want it and a constant round of different people to meet....and different places to visit whenever the boat docks..

Perhaps I should do that...:D
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I'm in, let's go!
 
My mom was in a Seniors Complex in Alberta and it was like a first class hotel. They had a Chef and a lovely dining room for their meals unless they wished to cook in their own suites or go out to eat. They had a library room, a crafts room, a hoteling room in case family wanted to stay for a little visit. Also a pool room. My mom was on the board council because she enjoyed keeping busy. Oh, they also had trips out to the US and all over the place. They had a van that was provided by the Complex although many had their own cars. However, my mom paid through the teeth for this accommodation. But she could afford it. She had absolutely no desire at all to live with her children after my dad died or to be alone living in a condo or a self-contained home.
 
I can only judge by my mother's experience. I'm an only child so I always had her best interests at heart. At my recommendation, she moved into a 55+ senior living community that was next door to an assisted living community and across the street from a physical rehabilitation center. She loved her home in the 55+ community but was subject to falls and could no longer take care of herself. There were a few times she ended up in the hospital and in physical rehabilitation.

When I mentioned assisted living, she sat at her kitchen table with her hands folded and said she would absolutely not move. I toured the facility, and some of her former neighbors lived there and loved it. She ended up moving, and she actually blossomed because she received so much attention from other residents. I wouldn't overlook it.
 
Jules said:
When driving past a Seniors’ Home, my daughter commented that she thinks I’d enjoy living in something like those. At some point my husband will need specialized care and she knows I refuse to keep this house. She said I’m social and they’d do all the work and make meals; she thinks I’d love it.

She’s in her mid 40s. Obviously, she and her sister have no idea what these places are like. There may come a point she may be advising or helping make decisions for me. It really startled me how naive they are.
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I think there is a difference between senior housing and assisted living. The latter looks frightful to me. But the former could be a boon but no answer will fit everyone. The former sure looks more desirable but I think one needs to make the transition while firing on all cylinders.
 
Myquest55 said:
So, Jules, do YOU know what they are like? Have you visited any? Do you have friends who live there? They may NOT be what you think!! My parents were in an Erickson Community - Independent Living. It was like living on a cruise ship and they loved it! I loved it! We're on a wait list now for such a place. It isn't jail. It is close enough to our town that I will be able to continue with all my groups and friends for a long time. It is equally as close to all our Doctors as well.

My DH has Parkinsons so I know he will eventually need more help than I can give. Our sons live far away and we don't want them to worry about us either. That dinner in the dining room every evening is beginning to sound better and better - no prep, no cooking, no clean up - bring it on!! We have toured a number of places and they are VERY nice and prices vary a lot. The social aspect it something that kept my father active and alive until 95!! Of course, it is not for everyone BUT don't dismiss it without a good hard look. I, for one, am really looking forward to easier "condo living" in the near future.
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There’s a huge difference between retirement homes and nursing homes. A retirement home, you have your own place with some help when you need it. A nursing home you have a room, might share it with another and all your meals are made and laundry washed.
This is where you go when you need care 24/7.
 
seadoug said:
I can only judge by my mother's experience. I'm an only child so I always had her best interests at heart. At my recommendation, she moved into a 55+ senior living community that was next door to an assisted living community and across the street from a physical rehabilitation center. She loved her home in the 55+ community but was subject to falls and could no longer take care of herself. There were a few times she ended up in the hospital and in physical rehabilitation.

When I mentioned assisted living, she sat at her kitchen table with her hands folded and said she would absolutely not move. I toured the facility, and some of her former neighbors lived there and loved it. She ended up moving, and she actually blossomed because she received so much attention from other residents. I wouldn't overlook it.
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Good for your mom! We visited nine different facilities when we were looking for a place for my MIL. All were quite different in atmosphere and social culture. We picked one we thought she would like, and she visited twice to be sure she approved. The third visit was to pick the unit she would live in.

She had become depressed as her circle of friends shrank over time. None of her family lived closer than a thousand miles away. Moving to the senior facility proved to be the sociable environment she needed. It was a safe, attractive campus with excellent staff (very little turnover); very good food, and friendly residents. She didn't have to do anything she didn't want to do. There was a wide choice of activities and she could pick as many or as few as she wanted.

The downside? It was expensive. She had the funds to afford care (she was house-rich and cash-poor; finally agreed to sell the house). But many people do not.

My mother was poor and had to live in Section 8 housing. She died before needing any Skilled Care Nursing, for which I and my siblings are grateful. She would have hated Medicaid facilities, which are pretty awful in our state.
 
The senior living building I live in has some good and some bad points. It is like that wherever or whatever type of place you live in. There are several people who live here that have lived here for years. Two now, because the other two have died since I moved in, have lived here for over 30 years. I believe how good it is depends on your management. When management changes so does the atmosphere of your building.

Even though it is not assisted living, if you need help you can get it. Many tenants here have meals delivered daily. Some have aides who assist in whatever you need. It is downtown so if you cannot drive or choose not to, you can get around town. I see falls as being the number one reason people end up going to assisted living or nursing homes. So making your apartment or home safe to avoid falling is important to do now.
 
hollydolly said:
There are stories of people who choose to spend their retirement on Cruise ships all year round. Most are cheaper than care homes..and with an onboard Doctor, emergency hospital bay.. 3 meals a day cooked for you.. great menu.. maid service.. entertainment whenever you want it and a constant round of different people to meet....and different places to visit whenever the boat docks..

Perhaps I should do that...:D
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I think that got popular after a Sunday morning type show featured a woman who did just that. She had a great retirement. Travel, food, medical, call taken care of and the price was ok as part of a cruise package.
I always wondered how that turned out for the cruise ships and if they had to change policies or accept it as a win win.
 
hearlady said:
I think that got popular after a Sunday morning type show featured a woman who did just that. She had a great retirement. Travel, food, medical, call taken care of and the price was ok as part of a cruise package.
I always wondered how that turned out for the cruise ships and if they had to change policies or accept it as a win win.
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yes there's quite a few people who do that now... and also a few well known celebrities who live permanently in hotels in their old age.. again a win win situation...
 
I've often thought about Lon. He was on here when I first joined. He seemed to be well pleased with his senior residence but I suspected that it was a higher quality place.
Does anyone know what became of Lon? I'm kind of afraid to ask.
 
hearlady said:
I think that got popular after a Sunday morning type show featured a woman who did just that. She had a great retirement. Travel, food, medical, call taken care of and the price was ok as part of a cruise package.
I always wondered how that turned out for the cruise ships and if they had to change policies or accept it as a win win.
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I saw that same show. It cost about $30,000 a year to live in that environment.

What do you give up by settling for this lifestyle? Here are a few losses.....
Retiring in a community of life long friends who boost you up on the days you need a friend. Lunches out with a buddy who knows you and your family who can give advice when you ask for it. No familiar downtown, churches, small business owners to greet you. No family around, no day trips with a buddy who know your taste in clothes to help you decide on just the right dress....

Yes, if you don't want familiar faces at your dinner table, don't want friends who genuinely care about you and your mental well being, if you want to be adrift for the remainder of your life (no pun intended), then a cruise ship is exactly the place for you. A life among strangers.

You couldn't gift it to me wrapped in a bright red bow.
 
hearlady said:
I've often thought about Lon. He was on here when I first joined. He seemed to be well pleased with his senior residence but I suspected that it was a higher quality place.
Does anyone know what became of Lon? I'm kind of afraid to ask.
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Lon has passed away, I forget how long ago.
He loved his residence, and the food, etc.
Knew him from an other site…..very nice person.
 
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