Daughter wants me to buy and live permanently in an RV

Cosmo254

Cosmo254

New Member
Location
Northern California
Hi everyone, I haven't been on in a long while but I have decisions to make and would really like to hear what others think. Let me start by saying my husband of 53 years passed away three weeks ago and due to my changed financial circumstances I need to move to a smaller cheaper place.
I have been living in a 1735 sf 3 bedroom house but it's way too big and expensive. I'll be renting a 1039 sf 3 bedroom house at the end of the month. The lease on the new house is for 6 months and when it's over my daughter wants me to buy an RV and park it in their yard with hook up to their electricity. This way I'd be saving $975. a month which is what I'm paying for rent.
My queto all of you are:
Have any of you Lived in an RV? Is it possible to live in one 24/7 12 months a year?
I know some of the newer ones are gorgeous, even have fireplaces, i'm just not sure about the tiny living space. Any suggestions would be wonderful.
 

Do you know the size of the RV? Personally I'd find it hard to live in one all the time if it were tiny. I have lived in tiny places before and need some space.
 
My condolences on the loss of your husband. Strange coincidence: that's the exact number of years we were married when my husband passed away. We would have had our 54th anniversary two months later.

About the RV, it sounds like a big risk to take. Would you be able to lease one for a few months and try out living in it, before making the big commitment to buy one?

I had to downsize also, in fact, twice. While he was still alive, we moved from our big, 4-bedroom house near Seattle to a pretty big, 3-bedroom condo in a senior community in Maryland, where we had lived before, and where our son lives (about 20 minutes away). Then, my husband died, and I stayed in that large apartment for 5 years, much too long, probably. Finally I got myself motivated to sell it and move to a smaller, but much nicer, condo in the same community. I love it here, and the smallness doesn't bother me at all, in fact, it's much more convenient to live in and keep clean. The only thing I wish is that I had room for a piano. No extra wall space at all, so I can't
 

I'd do what your daughter suggests. Good deal IMO

If it's only you, the space can't be all that confining. You can always open the door and take a walk.

Keep us informed ~~~~~ we're interested.
 
Your profile says "Northern California". Far enough north that you would have to worry about water lines/hoses freezing? You say you could hook up to your daughter's electricity. What about water... sewer... Is her home rural without any building codes? Many zoning codes, even in rural areas, will not permit living in a camper unless the area is properly zoned. Will the utility company allow electric hookup and water hookup without a separate meter? I'd check. Big financial jump if a few months down the line a utility shuts off power and water? How will you pipe sewer from your RV to her sewer lines or her septic tank?

Nicer RV's can be skirted and serve almost like a mobile home. You have some fairly gusty winds in Northern California, don't you? The skirting would be pretty mandatory to keep wind lift from finding your RV laying on its side after a wind blew through. You would at least want to anchor it down with screw anchors and strapping.

Then, consider the size. Go live in a motel room for a month. See if such a small space would give you claustrophobia or seem extremely cramped. Some people can live in an RV for a season when the play "snow bird" and go south. That's different than looking at living out your remaining days in one.

If it were me, I'd be looking as a small apartment or some subsidized housing designed for our "older" generation. When will you take a "tumble" down the flimsy steps of an RV? If you have any physical issues down the line. pretty difficult getting a walker or wheel chair in and out of an RV. Resale? Would you be able to get your investment back if you decided you couldn't handle RV living? RV's are like cars. Take a new one off the lot and it's worth 2/3 of what you paid.

Sorry! Just trying to toss out a number of things one might want to consider.
 
Thank you

Grumpy Ol' Man said:
Your profile says "Northern California". Far enough north that you would have to worry about water lines/hoses freezing? You say you could hook up to your daughter's electricity. What about water... sewer... Is her home rural without any building codes? Many zoning codes, even in rural areas, will not permit living in a camper unless the area is properly zoned. Will the utility company allow electric hookup and water hookup without a separate meter? I'd check. Big financial jump if a few months down the line a utility shuts off power and water? How will you pipe sewer from your RV to her sewer lines or her septic tank?

Nicer RV's can be skirted and serve almost like a mobile home. You have some fairly gusty winds in Northern California, don't you? The skirting would be pretty mandatory to keep wind lift from finding your RV laying on its side after a wind blew through. You would at least want to anchor it down with screw anchors and strapping.

Then, consider the size. Go live in a motel room for a month. See if such a small space would give you claustrophobia or seem extremely cramped. Some people can live in an RV for a season when the play "snow bird" and go south. That's different than looking at living out your remaining days in one.

If it were me, I'd be looking as a small apartment or some subsidized housing designed for our "older" generation. When will you take a "tumble" down the flimsy steps of an RV? If you have any physical issues down the line. pretty difficult getting a walker or wheel chair in and out of an RV. Resale? Would you be able to get your investment back if you decided you couldn't handle RV living? RV's are like cars. Take a new one off the lot and it's worth 2/3 of what you paid.

Sorry! Just trying to toss out a number of things one might want to consider.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your honest opinion, I know my daughter has good intentions but I can't see myself living in a large RV on her property. She does have a nice, large area overlooking the Sacramento river but as you said there are so many things that can affect an RV or the aging person living in it. I know she believes in about six years all her kids will be out of the home and there will be a spare bedroom for me but I don't think I even want to do that. I haven't lived on my own since I was 19 and I'm 72 now and I think I'd like to be around people in my own age group as we have our own memories of a different time. A senior apartment or complex sounds more reasonable to me.
Again thank you for all the input.
 
So sorry to hear about the passing of your husband and that you have figure out a new living situation so soon afterwards. I hope you can find a senior apartment. You can take look by finding out your local housing authority and also by searching the term "affordable senior apartments". Let us know how things go for you.
 
BTW, my senior community (55 and over) is Leisure World, which originated in your part of CA. There are LW communities in Seal Beach and I think in Walnut Creek. You might want to check them out. They have everything from full-size homes to apartments of all sizes, and everything in between.
Probably safer and more pleasant to live in than an RV, plus tons of activities and friends. They are gated communities, clean, friendly places. You may not be in the mood for fun and activities with a support network now, but some day you will be. Probably best not to get boxed in, although your daughter's intentions are well-meaning. Be as realistic as you can in making future plans.
 
So sorry for your terrible loss. I've never personally lived alone and I don't think I would want to. On one hand you do have to consider finances rather carefully. But you also have to consider the next decades. I might lean towards a senior community. New friends and activities, perhaps good transportation access. I'd suggest researching your options.
 
The first question to ask: is it allowed on that property?
If you explore the world of RVs, the one that would best fit your needs would be a "park model". They are not intended to be towed around by the owner. Many are in RV parks on a permanent basis. They are like a mini size mobile home. You would still have steps, but they could easily be replaced with a ramp.

If you Google "park model" you will see more info and pictures.
 
I live alone and have for years. I like it; HOWEVER, I could not live in an RV full time. Small is one thing, cramped is another. And most places DO have rules against living in an RV parked on residential property. I know it would be illegal here.

Could you effectively heat and cool the RV so it would be comfortable in the heat of summer and cold of winter? I don't think it could be done here (or it would cost a fortune to do so; we have extremes in temperature both ways. Would you have enough room to have friends over if you wanted to?

As to looking toward the future, what if your daughter's situation changes and they sell or are forced to sell their property? What happens to you then? Another consideration is privacy -- do you really want to live right under your family's nose? I wouldn't -- it would drive me nuts very quickly.

Why don't you just look for a smaller apartment to rent (do you really need three bedrooms)? Or consider purchasing a small, one-floor condo?
 
Thank you all for your thoughtful and informative answers. I showed them to my daughter and she had to agree that there are better ways then an RV. I'm leaning more toward a senior community or ground floor condo. Thank you all again, it's been 53 years since I've had to make all my own decisions and need to find what is best for me now and in the future.
 
You have 6 months on your new lease so that is plenty of time to look around before having to decide. Sometimes after leasing for 6 to 12 months, landlords will let you stay month to month for a while. Just take your time before pulling the trigger on something new. A senior retirement complex might be ideal for you.
 
I was reading just a few weeks ago that Auburn (I`m sure you know where that is) won`t even let people put "tiny houses" on their property. Not allowed and will not let them hook up power and water.
 
Cosmo254 said:
Hi everyone, I haven't been on in a long while but I have decisions to make and would really like to hear what others think. Let me start by saying my husband of 53 years passed away three weeks ago and due to my changed financial circumstances I need to move to a smaller cheaper place.
I have been living in a 1735 sf 3 bedroom house but it's way too big and expensive. I'll be renting a 1039 sf 3 bedroom house at the end of the month. The lease on the new house is for 6 months and when it's over my daughter wants me to buy an RV and park it in their yard with hook up to their electricity. This way I'd be saving $975. a month which is what I'm paying for rent.
My queto all of you are:
Have any of you Lived in an RV? Is it possible to live in one 24/7 12 months a year?
I know some of the newer ones are gorgeous, even have fireplaces, i'm just not sure about the tiny living space. Any suggestions would be wonderful.
Click to expand...

Cosmo, my condolences for the loss of your husband. I agree with the others here that you should consider not living in your daughter's back yard, but perhaps a senior friendly place nearby, so if you do need her for anything she'll be close to you.

As already mentioned here, going in and out of any camper or RV is not as easy as walking out the front door of a house or apartment. I think getting away from the house idea might be best for you, and being around folks your own age is probably better for your overall well-being. Also, it would be easier to care for as opposed to a house of any size.

I've only been in a small camper for limited periods of time, never lived in an RV and don't think I'd ever care to, especially now that I'm older. It's nice that your daughter is so welcoming, you don't always see that these days.

As long as your physically capable of living on your own, I'd go for it. You haven't been on your own for a long time, which would be the case for many of us here if our spouses passed on, but being on your own might be a beneficial challenge for you.

I know it's a big decision, but it sounds like you have time to ponder the pros and cons. Good luck and stay positive!
 
Living that close to your daughter might be an issue, and I would also look into low income housing for seniors. Sorry about your loss and good luck...
 
So sorry to read of the loss of your husband.
You have had 53 years worth of good memories.

Like others have said you have 6 months to look around at senior housing.
Look at all that fit your needs, weight the pros & cons of each.

Good luck.

Keep us updated as to what you do.
 
By the way,I should have mentioned,my grandson,his wife and one year old son live in a huge,brand new,44ft 5th wheel. It`s deluxe all the way,with several popouts,two bedrooms,two baths,granite countertops and leather sofas. My grandaughterinlaw HATES it,and has only been living in it for a year. My grandson is an apprentice lineman so they are "tramping" until he is a journeyman in 3 years. She says once this is over,she will never,ever go camping for the rest of her life lol.
 
I'm sorry for your loss and I know it has to be hard for you. I lost my husband 3 years ago. In just a few weeks after he passed, one of my daughters wanted me to sell out and move down close to her house which is on the opposite end of the county from me. I had a friend that had gone through the loss of her husband a few years before and she advised me to not to anything hasty. She told me to take my time and think it through before I made any major decisions. I listened to her and now I am so glad I did. If I had moved down there, I would not have known anyone but my daughter and her family. Here, I grew up in this community and know so many people and have so many friends here. So, my advice would be what she told me and that was to "take it slow and think it through before you make any major decisions."
 
It really all depends on your circumstances - financial, desire for independence and need (or not) for a social life.

Some RVs are small - but how much room do you need (it's your life - your decision). Living on your daughter's property would be financially good but "parks" offer a very active social life.

Again, it's all about your view of day to day living. I remember back "in the day" when thinking or talking about retirement - I thought of it as, "It's Thursday afternoon, 2:00pm - what am I doing, am I smiling?". And, when you think about it - what is more important than that???
 
Sorry for your very recent loss. Dealing with grief is difficult enough, but then having to make big decisions so quickly is oh so hard! I do have a suggestion, maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't. I would explore all options before you make a decision to live in an RV. Look into the possibility of subsidized housing for seniors. Check with the county or even your state representative and ask if it is available and what you need to do to qualify. They may use a sliding scale on ability to pay.

Without knowing your age or health, some retirement places offer apartments, assisted living and skilled nursing facilities. See if any accept lower income residents. It's worth asking. I hope you can find a suitable place where you can feel at home, if in talking to anyone, let them know you need to move soon and it is urgent. Wishing you the best, good luck.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. They say not to make major decisions for a year following the death of a mate. Downsizing to the smaller house for six months out of necessity is one thing, but an RV would be quite a change. I'd say see how you feel after the six months. I'd be claustrophobic in an RV. I'd also be concerned about living so close to a relative. Is your daughter bossy? Would she tell you what to do, if you were closer?
 
Phoenix said:
I'm so sorry for your loss. They say not to make major decisions for a year following the death of a mate. Downsizing to the smaller house for six months out of necessity is one thing, but an RV would be quite a change. I'd say see how you feel after the six months. I'd be claustrophobic in an RV. I'd also be concerned about living so close to a relative. Is your daughter bossy? Would she tell you what to do, if you were closer?
Click to expand...

This would be my concern, too -- having other people try to take over your life for you. I'm a very independent sort.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top