Depression Problems

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Not a problem for me but I have a family member that has depression problems. It is heartbreaking and frightening because there is no apparent reason for it and she won't see a doctor.
 
helenbacque said:
Not a problem for me but I have a family member that has depression problems. It is heartbreaking and frightening because there is no apparent reason for it and she won't see a doctor.
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That's very sad indeed. Does she even acknowledge she has a problem?

Falcon said:
I'm never depressed. I don't allow myself to get that way. Life's too short as it is.
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It's good you have that choice not to be depressed. Some others via their brain chemistry don't have the choice. Often they need medicine and therapy.
 
I became depressed shortly after being forced into retirement due to the FAA's mandatory retirement age. I understand why they do it, but I don't necessarily agree with it.
 
oldman said:
I became depressed shortly after being forced into retirement due to the FAA's mandatory retirement age. I understand why they do it, but I don't necessarily agree with it.
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Technology, particularly that of guidance mechanisms, is forcing change at a pace unknown before. Pilots, like drivers of 18 wheelers, are being replaced by computerized systems requiring no wages or care beyond maintenance. Repairmen have become replacers of robotically built modules with less skill and value to the economic culture. We are becoming obsolete and since many of us define ourselves by our work...it can become stressful.

While involved in a bout of PTSD, I was clinically depressed for some months. Try to engage yourself in something different every day. Stick with your routine but...improvise. I found that small challenges can slowly bring you around. You hardly notice the daily variation but one day you find yourself smiling over a trifling victory and you know somethings different. Depression will lift in time.
 
I have heard and tried all of the theories of getting rid of or reducing the results of depression. However, when you have done something that you absolutely love, it is difficult to suddenly stop doing it. It's like being in a race car going 200 mph and all of a sudden having to stop and walk away and never doing it again. I know that's a bad example of what i am trying to say, but it would have been better if I could have been weaned off of flying than just suddenly quit.

Flying was almost like an addiction. I never did not want to go to work. Did I just write "work?" It wasn't work. It was a pleasure to get into the cockpit four days a week and fly those magnificent planes.
 
I have a lot of time on my hands. Since there is no immediate family, very few friends here and with the loss of my cat of 15 years I have little to do but sit. At times I think of the cat and what the two of us did over the years and how it was at the end. I get so depressed I can hardly stand it. Yes I know people say get another cat, but it is not the same and never will be. I know where he is buried and I have a lot of pictures of him and even a sound recording of him meowing and purring. I have put these things away trying to get beyond it all. I often have to go on a short drive after these feelings. It helps a bit but it all returns after a few days. Noone to talk to or do something with. I have tried chat rooms but most of the people on them have other things on their minds and are of no help. I have talked to VA counselors but it is not like they were here.
I miss that cat. I would wash the dishes and he would be waiting, watching. I come home after being gone for several hours and he would be there. I could pet him, hold him and let him lick my nose. I would scratch his ears and brush his fur. The cat I have now wants no part of this. I miss my big kitty!!
 
Deucemoi said:
I have a lot of time on my hands. Since there is no immediate family, very few friends here and with the loss of my cat of 15 years I have little to do but sit. At times I think of the cat and what the two of us did over the years and how it was at the end. I get so depressed I can hardly stand it. Yes I know people say get another cat, but it is not the same and never will be. I know where he is buried and I have a lot of pictures of him and even a sound recording of him meowing and purring. I have put these things away trying to get beyond it all. I often have to go on a short drive after these feelings. It helps a bit but it all returns after a few days. Noone to talk to or do something with. I have tried chat rooms but most of the people on them have other things on their minds and are of no help. I have talked to VA counselors but it is not like they were here.
I miss that cat. I would wash the dishes and he would be waiting, watching. I come home after being gone for several hours and he would be there. I could pet him, hold him and let him lick my nose. I would scratch his ears and brush his fur. The cat I have now wants no part of this. I miss my big kitty!!
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I'm so sorry. That is quite a loss for you. We have some new people in the depression problems group if you wish to join and let out what you feel. I know what it is like to lose a beloved pet family friend; I just lost my favorite bird about 4 weeks ago. My heart still aches. I have a new bird but my heart still aches. I believe I know how you must feel. Take good care my friend.
 
oldman said:
I have heard and tried all of the theories of getting rid of or reducing the results of depression. However, when you have done something that you absolutely love, it is difficult to suddenly stop doing it. It's like being in a race car going 200 mph and all of a sudden having to stop and walk away and never doing it again. I know that's a bad example of what i am trying to say, but it would have been better if I could have been weaned off of flying than just suddenly quit.

Flying was almost like an addiction. I never did not want to go to work. Did I just write "work?" It wasn't work. It was a pleasure to get into the cockpit four days a week and fly those magnificent planes.
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It is quite a loss going from doing something you love to retired living. I'm sorry it makes you feel sad and I hope that better times will come for you.
 
Deucemoi said:
I have a lot of time on my hands. Since there is no immediate family, very few friends here and with the loss of my cat of 15 years I have little to do but sit. At times I think of the cat and what the two of us did over the years and how it was at the end. I get so depressed I can hardly stand it. Yes I know people say get another cat, but it is not the same and never will be. I know where he is buried and I have a lot of pictures of him and even a sound recording of him meowing and purring. I have put these things away trying to get beyond it all. I often have to go on a short drive after these feelings. It helps a bit but it all returns after a few days. Noone to talk to or do something with. I have tried chat rooms but most of the people on them have other things on their minds and are of no help. I have talked to VA counselors but it is not like they were here.
I miss that cat. I would wash the dishes and he would be waiting, watching. I come home after being gone for several hours and he would be there. I could pet him, hold him and let him lick my nose. I would scratch his ears and brush his fur. The cat I have now wants no part of this. I miss my big kitty!!
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Deucemoi, another kitty would never take the place of your old kitty in your heart, but he would find his own place there. My vet always says giving a home to a new pet is an enormous gift to a homeless pet, and saves it's life. The new pet can also save your life by bringing joy back into it. I know this to be true from my own experience. If you're unsure about commitment, most shelters will now let you foster a new pet for a couple weeks as a trial run to see how it fits with you. This is what I did with my present dog Bonnie -- and within a day or so I knew she had found her new home.

Try giving the gift of home to a new kitty -- you and he will be grateful to each other for it.
 
I had a pretty serious bout of depression following my early retirement. My father died not too long after that and life felt empty and unhappy and I could not get interested in anything. I went to my doctor and he prescribed an anti-depressant of course. That was a few years ago now.

I no longer take the tablets, though I think they helped. What helped an awful lot more was exercise. I know it is a bit of a cliché - it is something one hears so much one tends to think, 'yes..but I'm different' etc. But going to the gym several times a week, lots of dogs walking and so on have made a huge difference.
 
Shalimar said:
That is so true. This does not apply to Falcon, who is cool, but many people confuse depression with weakness/lack of character. Bad enough to be depressed, without feeling it is a character failing.
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You were referring to some depression as an unavoidable illness. I agree with your further reasoning...ultimately, my will provided the means for release from it. I think circumstances can trigger clinical depression...but they don't maintain it.
 
Butterfly; you did not read my post. I said I have another cat. She was a stray who once lived where I did and I let her in. She knew immediately the house and went straight into the bedroom. She is of the mind to be the only cat and even though my cat tolerated her she was not friendly. I befriended another cat, a stray also, long haired norwegian. I let her in nights and out during the day. When I moved into town I took the 'only cat'. I brought the longhair cat in also during the winter mainly to rid her of the worms she had. I returned her to the outdoors and I go there occasionally and feed her. She comes to me when I call but she will not come to any other person. She does get fed by others there so I have quit feeding her. These two cats do not get along is the reason I returned the long hair.
The 'only cat' is not a friendly one, she does not want to be held, or petted and she reminds me of my cat. She has been indoors for to long I think and probably would not survive if I put her back out.
Still I think of my cat, at times it makes me so depressed I sit and cry.
 
Anomaly 73 said:


You were referring to some depression as an unavoidable illness. I agree with your further reasoning...ultimately, my will provided the means for release from it. I think circumstances can trigger clinical depression...but they don't maintain it.
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I think that may depend on the circumstances. I applaud your success in overcoming your depression. However, PTSD can be insidious. An extreme form of traumatic depression which can last a lifetime. For some constant, for others such as myself, episodic.
 
One of my biggest gripes that leads to some depression. Of all the places I have lived and all the 'friends' I knew, noone ever came to my house for coffee and chit chat... NEVER!
My brother came once to see my new apartment but never came again and I would visit him weekly.
Mom brought the youngest brother when I was at a shore station but that was only to see the aircraft fly.
Dad only came to stay when he was visiting from out of state.
My old high school bud only comes when he wants something or to fix his computer.
Others brought their computers for me to fix but never asked any questions about what was wrong or wanted to learn something.

I would have liked it greatly if someone had come just to yak!
 
The military (navy) was something most people who have never been in the service or were close to someone in the service ever understood. It is something hard to describe. If you liked it you and enjoyed it you had this feeling of belonging. You had a duty, the life was controlled, regimented on a daily basis. Your life is not yours, the military controls it. Mom never did understand that. Dad didnt care less and my kid brother wanted nothing more to do with it after he got out. Many only wanted to do their time and get out.
Even today most people who never served dont want to hear about it. It is like something foreign, alien or unnatural. They just nod their heads and turn away. Okay so you served, big deal. When you are gone away for a long time and come home you have to do the friend thing all over again, renew old start anew. Like the saying I guess, out of sight out of mind.
While in Vietnam I was never actively engaged in combat, but every day we went up river loaded full of ammunition it worked at you. Was today the day someone fired at us and hit the ammuniton we had stacked on the decks, the holds were full. Many times we would have over 200 tons of it on board.
 
Deucemoi said:
One of my biggest gripes that leads to some depression. Of all the places I have lived and all the 'friends' I knew, noone ever came to my house for coffee and chit chat... NEVER!
My brother came once to see my new apartment but never came again and I would visit him weekly.
Mom brought the youngest brother when I was at a shore station but that was only to see the aircraft fly.
Dad only came to stay when he was visiting from out of state.
My old high school bud only comes when he wants something or to fix his computer.
Others brought their computers for me to fix but never asked any questions about what was wrong or wanted to learn something.

I would have liked it greatly if someone had come just to yak!
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I have known many people who seemed fixated on their needs, often to the exclusion of other's. Even if they mean no harm, but simply lack empathy, it can hurt. To the best of my ability, I have weeded out the people in my life who seemed allergic or oblivious to reciprocity. How can you have a relationship with those who don't relate?
 
Deucemoi, I was an adult during the Vietnam War and remember the general atmosphere in this country during that time. There was a lot of animosity toward the war itself that - very unfairly - was carried over to the service men who fought in it who were merely doing their job. That war was a politician's war from beginning to end. It was an embarrassment to many Americans and many of us deal with embarrassments by pretending it didn't happen. Proper acknowledgment of your patriotic and honorable participation might prolong or intensify the embarrassment. I'm sorry that you and your fellow service men were treated so unfairly upon your return. I commend you for serving your country and hope that you are eventually able to put the experience and its effects on your life behind you.

I dislike war immensely but realize the world will probably never be without it as it seems to be the nature of man. I personally believe that the last truly righteous war (or conflict as some like to call them) that the United States is or was involved in was World War II.

Good luck and may you find peace, Deucemoi
 
Deucemoi said:
One of my biggest gripes that leads to some depression. Of all the places I have lived and all the 'friends' I knew, noone ever came to my house for coffee and chit chat... NEVER!
My brother came once to see my new apartment but never came again and I would visit him weekly.
Mom brought the youngest brother when I was at a shore station but that was only to see the aircraft fly.
Dad only came to stay when he was visiting from out of state.
My old high school bud only comes when he wants something or to fix his computer.
Others brought their computers for me to fix but never asked any questions about what was wrong or wanted to learn something.

I would have liked it greatly if someone had come just to yak!
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Here, at least, the idea of visiting for coffee and chit chat has faded away and almost no one does it any more. It's all facebook and all that, or meeting at a coffee shop or some such. People don't visit much any more. It's OK with me, as I do not like unexpected visitors.
 
Butterfly said:
Here, at least, the idea of visiting for coffee and chit chat has faded away and almost no one does it any more. It's all facebook and all that, or meeting at a coffee shop or some such. People don't visit much any more. It's OK with me, as I do not like unexpected visitors.
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I agree. We prefer seclusion at home and we go out to socialize.
 
wrote this in very dark times: lucky I made it through....


Shut the Door
　
Dreams are hard
to get just right
so different by day
than deep in the night.
　
When the failures started
they didn't seem bad
When they didn't stop growin
my mind went mad
　
Then my madness led
to a place of grace
where dreams disappear
without a trace
　
no longer a need
to find a goal
I began to dig
a deep dark hole
　
but my hole is safe
and warm to me
no evil dreams
are tempting me
　
Is my glass half full
or is my ass just dyin
used to do good
now I'm so sick of tryin
　
If you'll just stay away
don't need to be fixed
I don't play well with others
and won't be in the mix.
　
So tell no-one you found me
don't bother to call
I've got just enough mortar
to finish my wall.
　
No people that care
enough anymore
You're the last soul to see me
Now, please.......... shut the door............
 

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