Diamond

I didn't know that, I still have my husbands ashes in an urn sitting on top of my armoire in my bedroom. I just can't decide what to do with him.
 

I don't really get that ashes thing. We all just bury, scatter, or box ours in a brick wall. Only know of one family member who got to go home after the cremation and that was more down to his wife's preoccupation with finding the fanciest box to display him in as a prop for her drama queen acts.

Not knocking any who find comfort in keeping loved ones with them. We all do what suits us best. It just never was a thing my family did. We, in the majority, seem to view death a little differently to many. We don't love them any less, but we accept that it's over and we let them go. We talk of them often, laugh at the good times they gave us and remember them that way, we don't need to look at their remains is all. Seems kind of undignified somehow but maybe we're strange that way. .....
 
Same here but I know of some women who have kept their husband's ashes in the wardrobe and one man who keeps his dog's ashes in a box on top of the china cabinet, with a memorial artificial rose beside it.

The only memorials my parents have is in the hearts of those who remember them.
 
When I went to pick up Viv's ashes, I had to call in at the supermarket on the way home.
so I strapped him in the front seat; as the undertaker said; nobody will steal your car.....
i just don't know what to do with him, so there he stays..,...
 
I must be the queen of ashes..I have 5 dogs, a ferret and my mother..only because I don't know what in the hell to do with them. Glad I drew the line at the horse. I thought of burying them, but this ground is so damned rocky I would need dynamite to blast a hole. Thought about scattering them down the creek, but I don't want to look at the creek everyday wondering whose yard they ended up in..

This spring I will definitely get my brother to dig a hole with the backhoe and give them a decent burial on the property in the woods. I need to do this before I go, because then who knows where they will end up. I don't have an emotional attachment to the ashes, just don't know what to do with them.
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Well I can relate to that part of it, I kept mementoes of them, things they were particularly fond of, instead and now don't what to do with them either. They're meaningless to anyone else, and a waste of space, but binning them seems a bit harsh.
 
When my dad died his ashes were scattered on a rose garden at the cemetery. No-one from the family wanted to be present at the time. I didn't even know which garden.
I was devastated by his sudden departure and needed something to look at as a memorial so I planted a tree in the backyard. He always like red flowering gums but the nursery only had a deep pink one so I settled for that one. I planted it where I could see it from the kitchen window and watched it grow rapidly. It was comforting, especially when in blossom, but it dropped brown gum on the clothesline which was a pain.

It grew so fast that I decided to look it up and found that this tree, a Tasmanian Blue Gum, was one of Australia's tallest trees and we had stupidly planted it over the sewer main that runs through our yard. After it had blocked the sewer line twice, causing major problems for the neighbours, we knew that it had to go. By that time I was able to separate the tree from my father's memory but it had served me well in the interim so I said goodbye to the tree but hung on to the memories.
 
I don't do that but I do take cuttings from plants when I move, one of which has survived, as mementoes. A monsteria delisciosa started it's history with us when Mum broke off a piece and pinched it hidden under her coat from a botanic garden in Brisbane. It was over 60 years ago now and the umpteenth clone of that plant is still traveling with me. It's a very tough and forgiving plant. It's been down to a withered stick that hovered seconds from being binned but got shoved into a handful of dirt in a plastic bag for a few months instead and lo and behold it's baaaack and looking great.
It's as resilient as she was so guess that's her memorial.

Odds are I'll never visit her grave in Singleton again so that will have to suffice. My cousin down there checks it out occasionally when she tidies her Dad's, and we have a laugh when I ask if she's checked that Mum's still there. As I mentioned, we view death with a little less sanctity than some.

Which reminds me I pinched some purple pigface from the dunes of my favourite beach and it'll be dried out enough to plant. Best do that as it's all I can take from around here.
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Ozarkgal said:
I must be the queen of ashes..I have 5 dogs, a ferret and my mother..only because I don't know what in the hell to do with them. Glad I drew the line at the horse. I thought of burying them, but this ground is so damned rocky I would need dynamite to blast a hole. Thought about scattering them down the creek, but I don't want to look at the creek everyday wondering whose yard they ended up in..

This spring I will definitely get my brother to dig a hole with the backhoe and give them a decent burial on the property in the woods. I need to do this before I go, because then who knows where they will end up. I don't have an emotional attachment to the ashes, just don't know what to do with them.
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OG why not scatter the ashes over a place they used to love playing, or scatter them in the woods
 
Yeah, maybe I'll do that Jilly. I have a big rock outcropping across the creek. Maybe before spring when the creepy crawlies come out, I'll hike to the top and put the ashes up there. It's really nice up there and they will be able to look down and keep an eye on us. I like the idea. Just hope the ol' bod can do the hike carrying all those little urns. I have thought of making a little sitting area up there, it would be a nice place to meditate.

Thanks for the inspiration!
 
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