Did I do the right thing? Did he?

There's no way I would let a complete stranger in my house for even one second unless he is a service man for something I have here that needs service. These days, any of us is just asking for trouble if we do. As for the money, you gave him more than he deserved really since he didn't make it known beforehand that he expected money.
 

debodun said:
Thanks for all the advice. I am CAUTIOUS, but not paranoid. Living in a small, somewhat rural suburb, could lure one into a false sense of security. Reading the town police reports in the local paper, what they have are mostly traffic violations and rare to have a violent crime reported. The worse thing I remember since I started looking at the police blotter reports was a violation of a restraining order between separated couples and malicious mischief pranks.

I tried to look up the business that was on the card, but apparently has no Internet presence. What business these days doesn't have a Web site or Facebook profile page?
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Why bother? Are you planning on further contact with him? :confused:
 
Robusta said:
Don't let these posters make you paranoid. You live in a very safe nice town. This is NY. Not saying it doesn't happen here,but if you check statistics,NY especially upstate ranks especially low in crime of any kind. The northeast is very nice crime wise compared to the south or southwest.
Every snow fall there are less fortunate folks who swarm the streets looking for a bit of cash earned by shoveling.
.
Should he have negotiated upfront, yes of course.
20 bucks is more than fair for unsolicited labor.

Don't be stupid keep your guard up ,but do not let people on a discussion forum make you paranoid. You have lived a long time in your home your town and upstate. You read the paper you watch the local news, you know what goes on in your neighborhood.

I know many on this board have accused me of a polly anna and naïve outlook on the potential of becoming a crime victim. but I firmly believe that in this area violent crime is an aberration, much more so than it is in other areas of the country.
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I never saw any such accusation. :shrug:
 

A similar thing happened to me some years ago. It was a guy spraying house addresses on the curb side in front of houses in the neighborhoods. So this guy came to my door and wanting $5.00 for doing that. I might have done that (even though we're told that emergency services don't look at curbs to see addresses to where they are going) except that I didn't ask for it or wanted it. I told him (through a locked screen door that I didn't even know who he was (I would have given to veterans even though I didn't need it) and he took out an ID from his wallet to prove who he was. That wasn't the point. And then he left shouting about how he was told that some grandmother had recently died in my house (it was my mother--must have been my neighbor said something about that.) Then I went out to look and saw he smeared what he had already done. Then a couple of days later, the address was there again. I guess a bad conscience. Cars park there all the time so what is the use.
 
Return of the snow shoveler:

My doorbell rang a 2 pm yesterday. The man that helped me before was there saying he shoveled my front sidewalk and a path from the back door to the garage, but since it was still snowing and accumulating, he would come back in a hour to do it again. He did return and then asked for money. I asked him if he did in front of the garage door. He looked puzzled, then said "Oooooh, I forgot about that." Then asked to take a shortcut through the house to get out back. I kept him moving, though.

After he was done, I gave him $20. As I was walking back to the house, I heard him call out. He approached me and asked if I couldn't find my way to give him more money because it was a deep, wet snow. I refused and he left. When I went out front, I discovered he hadn't shoveled the public sidewalk, but it looked like he did it in front of my neighbors. Perhaps he was just mixed up, but I had to do that on top of everything. Now I'm sorry I gave him the $20. I wish he would ask before starting work and say what he expected to be paid. I don't like his accepting then upping the ante. You don't have a contractor do a job, then haggle on a price afterwards.
 
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Sounds to me like you did the right thing. $20 seems fair, especially if the snow was wet and heavy.
I agree with 911. Be extra cautious about letting him into your house.
 
IF he returns again, I think I would call the police or at least tell him if he doesn't get off your property and stay off, you will call the police. People like that, I don't trust! It sounds like he's up to no good.
 
Why do you not have a regular snow removal person in place each winter? The price should be set, areas of snow removal clearly described with everything written down and either orally agreed or agreed by signature.

You live in a snowy area. You are alone and not up to all this work. You can afford someone you can rely on so at least your sidewalks will be in compliance. You deserve the assistance.

Get someone in place for the future.
 
I agree with "911." This situation is screaming with danger signals, and you were right to turn him down as a tenant. Even if he isn't a psychopath, it sounds pretty pushy to me that first he offered to shovel your sidewalk, then belatedly asked for payment once he had assessed the situation, and then offers to move into your house, when you did absolutely nothing to indicate that you were looking for a tenant? He was "looking" at your house? That sounds pretty creepy to me. Don't be too trusting, Deb. He might have been getting ready to rob you. (Or worse!)
 
You got such good advice - I have nothing to add.

It's situations like this that draw people together to support each other. Glad to have this forum !
 
Sunny said:
I agree with "911." This situation is screaming with danger signals, and you were right to turn him down as a tenant. Even if he isn't a psychopath, it sounds pretty pushy to me that first he offered to shovel your sidewalk, then belatedly asked for payment once he had assessed the situation, and then offers to move into your house, when you did absolutely nothing to indicate that you were looking for a tenant? He was "looking" at your house? That sounds pretty creepy to me. Don't be too trusting, Deb. He might have been getting ready to rob you. (Or worse!)
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I agree. NEVER let people you do not know into your house!
 
911 said:
I would like to suggest to always get the money part worked out before hiring or even allowing anyone to do a job. Even though this man offered to do the work and didn't ask or mention anything about money, had it been me, I would have asked him...."and how much will this cost me?" Never be shy about getting the money part straight before having the work done. It's your money and you need to protect it.

As for having him move in, I strongly urge you not to do this. You have heard all the stories about predators and so forth and it really doesn't matter about age or appearances because these guys just want to get inside your home. He may be the nicest man in the world, but at this point, you don't even know his name, do you?

Someone on this board wrote a post that asked the question "Are People Less Trusting Than They Used To Be?" And, we have all heard the phrase, "Trust your fellow man." To that I say, "Bunk." Personally, I don't trust anyone that isn't close to me. A person either has to be ignorant or blind if they can't see what's going on out in the world today. The stories I could tell and if I did tell, you would be sleeping with the lights on tonight. The world has become a very dangerous place and for those that don't believe that, they are what we call an "at risk person" or "ARP."

Now, go have some fun.
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I totally agree, 911. Some of the worst crimes I remember hearing about started with an offer of "help."
 
Debodun, I think others are being too easy on you.

I'm not understanding why you keep interacting with this man. You complain about him, then you let him do work for you, then you give him money, then you complain and ask for advice. People give you advice. He wants to be a tenant. Then the guy comes back....no call, no advance notice. He does more work. You give him money. You don't even know his name and you let him walk thru your house. Then he asks for more money. Now here you are complaining again.

Frankly, the situation doesn't make sense. You're not naive. You're not confused. You're not a victim. Come ON.

(To anyone about to chastise ME for 'being mean to debodun' don't bother.
I'm just telling her on open thread what many of you are thinking and sending me comments about.)
 
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Being too naive can get you robbed, raped or killed, or all of the above. I worked on way too may cases where women let strangers into their homes or got into cars with strangers or went to hotels with strangers, accepted/offered help to or from strangers or similar scenarios, with disastrous results. Crime scene and autopsy photos quickly disabuse one of the idea that "it can't happen to me." Common sense could have saved a lot of those women's lives.
 
Debodun, are there not any neighbors with a teenage kid that you could make a deal with. I would trust a neighbor more than a stranger.
 
Mizzkitt said:
Debodun, are there not any neighbors with a teenage kid that you could make a deal with. I would trust a neighbor more than a stranger.
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Most of my neighbors are transients (rent a few months and move). The others either have kids that are grown and moved away, away at college or aren't interested in heavy work.
 
Deb, there probably are service companies that provide reliable help. Maybe the same companies that do lawn care, gardening, etc. Check it out; they might cost a few dollars more than this creepy guy, but at least you're
not risking your life.

About 15 years ago, an elderly woman was beaten to death by some transient guy she had hired to do some interior painting work for her. It was a small town with a low crime rate, and the event was shocking, in the news
and a subject of horrified conversation for weeks afterward. (I think the motive was robbery.)

She was a nice, sweet lady, active in community affairs, and an elected member of the city council. She should have known better.
 

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