Ronni
Well-known Member
- Location
- Nashville TN
I was never hit, popped, spanked. Didn't hit, pop or spank my own kids.
Did your parents ever smack you !
- Thread starter toffee
- Start date
That's so sad Keesha. I know we've talked about this in past threads, but I don't think you ever went into detail about your injuries, I'm sorry it was so severe.
Yes my Father used to use me as his personal punching bag. When something went wrong, he always found a way to pin it on me and I either got yelled at, hit or both. I even got hit when my brothers and sisters did something wrong, just because I was the oldest and should have stopped them. I never suffered severe injuries like broken bones, but I was left bloody and very black and blue many times coupled with years of verbal abuse. This is the main reason I haven't had anything to do with my parents in over 20 years. I have struggled with anger issues my whole life because of it, but I have had it under under control for a good while now.
Grampa Don
Yep, that's me
- Location
- Orange county, Calif.
I was told by my Mom that my Dad accidentally hit me when I was a baby. He swore he would never hit me again and he didn't. Mom only hit me once when I was about 14. She had scolded me for something and I went into the next room and under my breath said bitch. She heard it and smacked me a good one across the mouth. Lesson learned.
Don
Don
I know I made light of being hit but I was being defensive. The times I was hit aren't clear to me. I have blocked a lot from my childhood out. I recall some of it...a little of being smacked with a belt and being dragged by my hair up the steps while being repeatedly slapped in the face...and that's all I can recall..was terrified.
Butterfly
SF VIP
- Location
- Albuquerque, New Mexico USA
Me, too. I probably richly deserved them. I certainly do not consider myself to have been abused, by any stretch.
I think this can be very effective if not taken too far.
My goodness ! Some of you have some real psychopaths in the family.
Most of todays parental child abusers are on drugs or alcohol.
Corporal punishment is not what most of you are describing.
Also it is easy to allow a child to have its way if there are only a couple kids but when there are several sometimes just words don't get it.
Both views below short 3 minute debate.
Most of todays parental child abusers are on drugs or alcohol.
Corporal punishment is not what most of you are describing.
Also it is easy to allow a child to have its way if there are only a couple kids but when there are several sometimes just words don't get it.
Both views below short 3 minute debate.
None of my family ever used a hand on their kids. They used mostly switches or belts. Never above the shoulders. Also never any long lasting marks much less broken bones.
I recall an interview with Jeffrey Dahmer's father after he was murdered in prison. The reporter asked him, "Is there anything you could have done while raising Jeffrey that might have prevented him from becoming what he was?"
Mr. Dahmer replied, "Oh, no. Whenever Jeffrey misbehaved, I spanked him, good."
A typical ignorant parent who's convinced he's doing the right thing.
Raising kids can be frustrating. And life is frustrating. Hitting kids is how some parents deal with it. In the case of fathers, hitting their kids makes them feel powerful & in control.
Mr. Dahmer replied, "Oh, no. Whenever Jeffrey misbehaved, I spanked him, good."
A typical ignorant parent who's convinced he's doing the right thing.
Raising kids can be frustrating. And life is frustrating. Hitting kids is how some parents deal with it. In the case of fathers, hitting their kids makes them feel powerful & in control.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
It's true we'd be locked up for abuse these days , although it still goes on behind closed doors, many times we read in the media of parents who have been arrested when finally they've been caught either severely injuring or killing their children after years of abuse.. but taking into care isn't always the answer.. when we were taken into care on several occasions, we were all belted, or given the slipper!! never the abuse we gt at home, but if one kid did or said something wrong we'd all be made to lie on our beds in the dormitory, face down and belted on the backside , we'd also be made to clean and polish 3 flights of stairs in the childrens' home , on our hands and knees ( I was under 10 years old)
Maybe you should seek some professional help for all that hate you are obviously dealing with.
Calling others parents names and comparing them to Dahmer is not the way to get your point across.
Parents don't spank today because most don't see their kids except to feed them and most of that comes from take out. Nurseries are the new mothers and that is not the mothers fault most of the time. She has to work to survive in this society. Parents who abuse their kids should be locked up or at least kids taken away.
Sorry about your parents that must have been terrible.
I knew one abuser and they were stopped by other parents and wife left him.
The main cause of the epidemic of child abuse today is drug and alcohol addictions. Plus mothers allowing strangers to come and take over their children.
No man has EVER put a hand on me or my siblings. Mama used a switch if talking did n't work. No man has EVER touched one of my kids either. Not that a father who doesn't take advantage or get too aggressive shouldn't be allowed to correct his kids.
Our kids are getting beatings alright its just a different kind of beating. Horrible punishments from prisons, drugs and crime. Plus single mothers and absent fathers is very abusive situations.
We didn't have TVs and computers babysitting us with violent crap and porn most of our waking hours.
They never smacked me, but my mom did give me a few short spankings which were always well-deserved. My father gave my brother a spanking when needed. We weren't bad kids and rarely saw spankings, usually my mother's 'evil eye' was enough warning to stop the nonsense we were up to. They were both very loving and fair, never went off the deep end for a simple spanking, no beatings, etc. ever.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
My father never had the ''excuse'' of alcohol or drugs, he was just an evil human who should never been alive and certainly never been allowed to sire children!!
My mother left him several times, but he always found her and dragged her back , she was terrified of him, yet through her fear and ultimately her misuse of prescription drugs she would take it out on us..mainly me as I was the eldest of her 4 children.. my father had more from a previous marriage, that wife ( my half brothers mother ) got away after throwing acid in his face, and having him imprisoned for years!!!! Sadly it was when he was released from prison he met my mother..she was a shy teen who'd been raised in an orphanage by strict nuns.. he was much older, a manipulator, which she didn't realise until after he got her pregnant almost immediately. I was 3 years old she was 22, when she attempted suicide the first time, I can still play it out in my mind to this day (even the colour of her dressing gown as she lay unconscious) .. then there were many attempts after that, until ultimately she succeeded in her 30's..
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Same for us and my mother was a wonderful woman although a little Bohemeum 'spell' at times. She was also well educated and a fantastic pianist,she could play like Strauss or Jerry Lee, lol.
Sorry Holly that must have been terrible for you , there are all kinds of people including parents.
You are reading things into my post that aren't there. Stating a fact or my opinion doesn't mean I'm "dealing with hate."
Perhaps you should seek some professional help to find out why you have a need to appear more intelligent than you are.
AZ Jim
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- SURPRISE, ARIZONA
A few well earned swats on the butt. I deserved it and it was never delivered out of anything but love and to teach a lesson.
Trade
Well-known Member
Nope. I got very little punishment as a child. However when our marriage was on the rocks my first wife used to beat on me. And she got away with it because I was brought up never to hit a woman or girl and she used that to her advantage. She was hoping she could bait me into hitting her back so she could claim spouse abuse but I wouldn't take the bait. One time she wailed on me so much that my whole chest and stomach was covered with purple bruises. I thought about calling the cops that time, but I was kind of embarrassed to have to admit that I had let her beat on me like that. In hindsight I really should have. In the end when she filed for divorce she still tried to claim spousal abuse and tried to get a restraining order on me but the judge didn't buy it.
She used to beat our two boys when I was away at work too. Then when I got home she would want me to beat them which I refused to do. I can remember her coming to me and showing me bruises on her forearm and telling me that my son Matt had given them to her. I knew exactly how she got those brusies. When she would come at you she would pound on you with her firsts by raining blows on you like she was pounding on the wall. And if you put up your arms to block the blows she would brusie her forearms on your arms.
But one time during the divorce she screwed the pooch. In a rage she swung one of my heavy leather belts with a big buckle at Matt and the buckle caught him in the eye and gave him a black eye. Fortunately it didn't seriously injure his eye. At the time I was going to therapy to try to deal with all the streess and I mentioned it to the therapist. She said that she was required by law to report it to HRS. So HRS sent someone to interview her. That must have put the fear of God into her because she backed off on a lot of her demands and settled with me getting custody of the two boys.
She used to beat our two boys when I was away at work too. Then when I got home she would want me to beat them which I refused to do. I can remember her coming to me and showing me bruises on her forearm and telling me that my son Matt had given them to her. I knew exactly how she got those brusies. When she would come at you she would pound on you with her firsts by raining blows on you like she was pounding on the wall. And if you put up your arms to block the blows she would brusie her forearms on your arms.
But one time during the divorce she screwed the pooch. In a rage she swung one of my heavy leather belts with a big buckle at Matt and the buckle caught him in the eye and gave him a black eye. Fortunately it didn't seriously injure his eye. At the time I was going to therapy to try to deal with all the streess and I mentioned it to the therapist. She said that she was required by law to report it to HRS. So HRS sent someone to interview her. That must have put the fear of God into her because she backed off on a lot of her demands and settled with me getting custody of the two boys.
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" Parents who use pain to teach their kids are ignorant parental failures. I often hear people say, "My parents smacked me & I turned out OK." Kids who grow up into decent, non-violent "
Your words above.
My mother was neither ignorant or mean. I miss her dearly and don't like her being called names for spanking or 'smacking 'me with a switch.
Maybe change your wording. I won't keep arguing with you though so lets agree to disagree.
Sassycakes
SF VIP
- Location
- Pennsylvania
My parents never put a hand on me ,my brother or sister. My Mom would threaten us with the wooden spoon but never used it on us. They corrected our mistakes by talking to us about what was wrong about what we did and I did the same with my children . We never hit any of our kids or now our grandchildren.
A few things I find interesting about this topic:
Many parents want the option of beating their kids - something a stranger would be arrested for if he/she hits someone else's kids.
Many women stay in an abusive relationship. Perhaps they're accustomed to abuse from their parents, so they consider it "normal."
I wonder how many parents who consider it OK to beat their kids would also train their dogs the same way?
Many parents want the option of beating their kids - something a stranger would be arrested for if he/she hits someone else's kids.
Many women stay in an abusive relationship. Perhaps they're accustomed to abuse from their parents, so they consider it "normal."
I wonder how many parents who consider it OK to beat their kids would also train their dogs the same way?