Do (Did) You Define Yourself By Your Work?

I don't think I was ever defined by my work, perhaps because I had so many different and varied jobs and employers. Maybe I could be somewhat defined by all the things I did and/or didn't do. Regardless, the transition from work to retirement was as easy as riding on down a beautiful road on a beautiful day. I never much identified with the work I did. Rather, I took jobs and did work that was interesting and available. Perhaps the secret to a happy retirement is to do things you are interested in and enjoy and forget about your former work life, whatever that was. For a good number of things, my attitude is "been there, done that, not interested any more." The exception to that is riding motorcycles, traveling, photography and reading. The new interesting things are numerous.
 
work even as a teenager ( pocket money to take girls out) to the day i retired. met some great people, had some great jobs, saw the world but it was never more than a way to get 'out'. guess i always missed the carefree days of a teenager. I've done everything from night time cleaner at burger king to managing some global IT in a big corporation. Lots of laughs in the latter and challenges, much more fun in the former with free coca cola and fries. I traveled with my ex (hungarian) a lot in europe and she always found she and her friends could not understand now north american defined themselves by their job. same talking to some brazilians one night in san recife.
 
In a sense yes I did. Like others here have mentioned, investing a lot of time in something makes it valuable but I tried not to get to attach.
Pink Biz said:
Not at all. I disliked working and only did it to support myself. My work habits and lack of discipline reflected that.
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I applaud your honesty. I disliked working for others so my last years of working was self directed which I found much easier.

I’m very surprised how well my husband has taken to retirement. He defined himself by the work he did but retirement is really suiting him. He’s adjusting well.

Both our fathers had a difficult time retiring.
 
I have had so many unrelated jobs travelling round the world that I cannot pick any one of them in honesty and say that it defines me. I am highly industrious and innovative if I find the job interesting but I am completely useless if the job is boring to me. Some have begged me to stay but others have fired me from the job. I think it is what I’ve done between jobs that defines me most: Adventurous and leisurely but definitely not lazy. I think of myself as a "problem solver" by thought and invention and that is how I'd like others to think of me too. Yes, that's my answer. 🧔💜♂️
 
Pecos said:
I certainly did while I was in the Navy for 31 years, and especially when I became a Senior Officer. Being on active duty is a 24 hour job. It took a couple of years to let that get out of my system and gradually adapt to the idea of being an "ordinary Joe."
During my 14 year civilian career, I felt sad to see do many retired officers who continued to hang around the Officers Club thinking that they were still actively involved. It was particularly disgusting for me to interact with other Companies and see signs on their Office Doors listing their former military ranks. This is certainly not the path toward reality and contentment in retirement. I have gradually withdrawn from being actively involved with retired military associations and simply desire to drift contentedly down the trail toward the sunset with my wonderful wife.
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Well said. A woman who lives across the street from us is one of those. You can see her almost the whole day puttering around the neigbourhood picking up litter and poking between the branches of bushes looking for broken twigs to take to the rubbish bin. Every time workmen show up with some job to do in the area or the rubbish collector's truck comes she quickly dashes over to give her opinion on how the job should be done. She stands there 'in the way' with her mouth flapping and won't leave them alone even when it's lunchtime and they find a place to sit and eat their sandwiches and such. I used to like her and feel sorry for her. But one Winter's day she complained to me about my bonsai on my balcony. She said they were ugly. I explained to her, "Bonsai are trees so they shed their leaves every Winter just like the trees in the wild but come back to life in the Spring when they are very beautiful and rewarding .... and that since my retirement they are the only true passion I have." She made a huff of disgust and told me I should remove them.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
After I retired, I visited my former co-worker/friends/family every couple of weeks for a few months. I had an excuse though...besides missing them. I sold aromatherapy products at the time and had customers in the building. I finally stopped going. I used to have dreams that I worked there pro-bono but didn't do my paperwork. And when I thought I'd get in trouble for it, I remembered I am retired and not being paid for this. :LOL: Glad you developed the attitude you have and in fact do have that wonderful life with your wonderful wife.
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I read this and thought, "How can I respond in a way that expresses my feelings?" Now I know how ..... let the emojis do the talking: :( + 😊
 
I think most people do. Maybe that's why when we're asked "What kind of work do you do?" we don't say, "I drive a truck," or "I repair cars."
We say, "I am a truck driver" or "I am a mechanic." That makes it sound like that's what we are, or that's all we are.
 
My father was a workaholic and I never really was, although I liked to spend money so I had to work. I worked at a sawmill for 12 years and thought that would be my retirement job. Well the anti-logging people shut that down and I went to work for a company that puts video games and pinballs in businesses and we split the money with them. Been there 41 years and I am finally financially able to walk, I mean run away. It was fun at first, but like any job you have this long it gets boring and we move a lot of heavy equipment, so It's getting physically difficult. Unlike my father I could disconnect from my job when I went home and I always wanted to be home at the same time to be with my wife and kids. So I guess I can say I tried my best to not be a slave to my job, but often felt I was. About the only part I really enjoyed was that the games eventually used computers and I learned to work on them and computers have become one of my hobbies.
 
This is actually the hardest part I'm facing about me retiring... I have been working on saving lives in a small county nearly 36 years... Both at work and volunteer. I have helped build the system, trained many of the medics I'm leaving behind... I routinely am stopped while in public and thanked for taking care of so and so.... for stuff thats happened YEARS ago... And as the news spreads of my retiring... have gotten several " You Cant" comments... I'm proud of my career , but its time for a break.
 
I remember a line from an old movie (or was it a book/short story?) where a woman introduced her male friend to a third party as "this is Joe. He's a mail man." to which Joe replied, "I deliver the mail, that's what I do, but it isn't who I am."

I worked as an accountant because I opened up the course catalog (showing my age here..) at the front instead of the back. Otherwise I would have been a zoologist
 
Resurrecting this excellent thread. My dad retired in his 60's. He was a financial advisor and still watched the "ticker tapes" on TV every day to follow the stock market. His entire fortune was wrapped up in the stock market and he became severely depressed during Black Friday in 1989. I know what this meant to him but the stock market did rally again.

So, I spent 35 years in my career with public companies and always realized #1 they cared nothing about me and I only needed them for my livelihood and #2 financial situations can change, things work out and I couldn't worry like my dad. I do invest and manage my finances. I'm not fiscally irresponsible.

So, after 20 years at my company my position was eliminated in June 2020. Especially after reflecting during the Covid lockdown I had already redefined myself from a personal rather than career perspective. I never cared about the fact that I was a VP of Sales and instead looked at it as a means to make a living so that I could enjoy retirement. When people ask me what I do now I just tell them I am retired and extremely happy.
 
In truth, I got into what became my career by accident. I had no passion for it, but I was good at it and it provided me with a comfortable living for the many years that I played the game. The last five or so years, I loathed what I did for a living but I kept my game face on and made the best of it.

When the opportunity to retire came along, I was more than ready but I found the firm wasn't really ready to let me go so I stayed around part time for a few more years.

I never identified myself by my work. In fact, I used to secretly laugh at those in my field who seemed to take it too seriously. I labeled them "terminally professional". While I held a position in the National Society, I became famous for insisting what we did wasn't a profession but rather a racket. The newly minted Masters degree folks (especially the certification collectors) thought I was horrible but most people who had been around for a bit knew what I was saying.
 
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